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The comic event of your first inadvertent or accidental self-outing in women's undergarments or fully clothed, and how you dealt with it (hopefully) to your satisfaction.

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Posts: 30
Lady
Topic starter
(@gynaeceum)
Trusted Member     Omaha, Nebraska, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

The one thing that's becoming clear from all the astute commentary by CDH members in a variety of forums is that in making the transition from male drab to female exciting self-definition en femme, all sorts of unanticipated things happened to many that made them blush a little when a flub occurred or when, inadvertently, they revealed more than what they really wanted others to know about them, especially in regard to who they really wanted others to understand them to be. There are many instructive stories to be enjoyed and learned from here. Tell us how you showed more accidentally, and how in the long run that accident helped you become who you now know you really are.

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2157

@gynaeceum 

We all have so many stories. Mine, that I have mentioned on other posts here is a little different. 

One evening as I was starting to wind down for the night my EX came into the room caught me wearing an old bra of hers under my shirt along with a pair of newly purchased flats setting next to me. I ended up admitting to my CD habits. 

The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids. Then she threatened to tell my mom and my 4 brothers. I ended telling my brothers myself, sorry to say my mom past away before I could tell her. 

This one event pushed me to come out more and more. Today I am close to presenting fem 24/7 maybe fully transitioning? Without this one event I would likely still be back in the closet scared to death of being found out. 

Cassie 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@loneleycd Hi Cassie ...I truly hope you get the support and love you deserve xx

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@gynaeceum 

Many of us can laugh about the first time we outed ourselves.  It should be a comic event. 

Of course, that's not always the case.  I won't go into the details of my accidental outing.  Suffice to say the next 3 years were awful.

I've outed myself hundreds of times since.  Every time has been great!

/EA

 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@gynaeceum first time I went intimate Torrid shopping for a dress. I go in drab, wearing panties, tights, and a slip under my clothes. I'm looking around and one of the sales people asks if I need help. I told her I didn't know what size I needed, but was looking for a dress. She asked who it was for, I said me. Her eyes widened, she got excited, and was almost giddy. Keep in mind, I'm 6' and bigger than most. Well she estimates the size, grabs 2 dresses and ushers me to a dressing room. I asked her if she would give me her opinion since I didn't have anyone with me. She agreed, and after I put one of the dresses on, she took one look and her reaction was like mine when I first saw myself in it. It wasn't crazy or wild, just a bit funny with how giddy she was.

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Lady
(@paulapantyhose)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     western part of state, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 144

@chloe72 The Torrid girls are always so helpful.

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Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

@gynaeceum I was in my early going out days. I dressed like Daisy Duke. I would drive around, get out of the ca,r and as I got bolder and bolder, would put myself in places and situations where I might be noticed.

I was on an escalator once behind a girl in a short skirt and heels. I had such an incredible view of her legs and her nylons. I decided I had to do that. I would get very excited going on an escalator knowing I was showing my legs like she did. I was sure i was getting looks but didn't have any interactions.

Then one day, I'm browsing pantyhose. I was actually working on the nerve to buy them when I was wearing my Daisy Duke outfit. A girl came up to me and told me I had really nice legs and asked of I was wearing pantyhose. OH NO! OMG! No one ever mentioned my pantyhose before. Was she talking to another girl or did she notice I was a guy? My mind was racing. I was in a panic. I put down the pantyhose, hurried out of the store, got on my car and drove home, swearing I would never do that again. A few days later I was out browsing pantyhose again.

There was a few times when in boy mode when I was buying pantyhose, I got asked if they were for me. Imagine if I was dressed as a girl, wearing pantyhose while buying pantyhose. They wouldn't need to ask. So that was my ultimate goal.

I would walk around stores, ride escalators, make my way over to the pantyhose, pick out a few pairs and wait for the right time to buy them. One day I felt the time was right. I took the pantyhose and headed to the register. A couple of people beat me to it. I was going to have to wait. Still, I wanted to do it. I got online. Others got on behind me. I was so nervous. I was sweating and trembling. But somehow I made it through. Leaving the store I felt such a thrill and rush. I had wanted to do that for as long as I could remember. I did a lot of pantyhose shopping and buying to experience that thrill again.

Then one day I'm waiting online with my pantyhose and a woman tells me my legs look great. Am I buying the same pantyhose I'm wearing? I felt panic. That was the first time anyone had recognized and acknowledged I was wearing pantyhose. I just nodded, completed my transaction and left. That was different and unexpected but exciting. Now when I did my pantyhose shopping, I was hoping for some interaction.

Then one day, there I was online in my little Daisy Duke shorts, sheer to waist pantyhose and platform wedge heels showing lots of leg. I'm getting pretty excited just thinking about how I look and what I'm doing. A woman behind me says, "excuse me honey, I just wanted to let you know you have a run in your stocking. I turned and looked. She was right. I always check for runs but they sometimes seem to happen. "Good thing you're buying more." She noticed my pantyhose. That was so thrilling. I even began wearing pantyhose with runs to get more attention.

Don't know why I got such thrills and excitement from doing that. It's pretty silly actually. But it was living lifelong dreams and fantasies.

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Posts: 245
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Estimable Member
Joined: 12 months ago

I've been dressing since my teen years 50 years ago but only at home. I used to play rugby at weekends and sure enough I broke my wrist after a mighty challenge. My wrist and forearm were plastered up and I carried on as best I could but couldn't work. I took the opportunity off to walk around wearing my partner's best lacy panties and wore them outside. Sure enough I had to make an unscheduled trip to the local hospital as the pain was getting worse. I thought about going home and putting my boring man pants on but thought what's rhe point its my wrist. You can guess the rest..the doctor decided to check nerve endings ,reflexes etc and asked me to take my jeans off. He had no doubt seen much much worse in his time and showed no interest while i was perspiring by the gallon.  I still have yet  to fully venture out as  Samantha perhaps I should have started that day. 

 

 

 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@joanarbour)
Joined: 9 years ago

Reputable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Posts: 169

@samanthaxxxx and the challenge of having rugby player’s shoulders! No wonder this girl played prop.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@joanarbour tall and slim so well away from the scrum ...was quick when they came looking !!x

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Not much of a story really, but I went into a dispensary an femme, but forgot I had to show my driver's license which, of course, had my male name. The receptionist just asked if I had a different name to use so I wouldn't be outed when he called it out when my time came.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@jjandme that's made me smile hun xx

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Yeah, I just don't care if I'm clocked. I try to look as femme as I can, but know I am really not fooling anyone who pays much attention, and so what if they know I am cross-dressed? 

My attitude is now to let them see me en femme and just maybe it will stimulate a discussion and move the needle of acceptance a little. Or, better yet it will motivate someone to dress or a SO to accept their partner's dressing a bit more. The way attitudes change is by being exposed to such concepts in normal ways.

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Posts: 245
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Estimable Member
Joined: 12 months ago

Hi JJ 

Yes I totally agree...I joined this site a few days ago and already I feel more confident about Samantha even though I am content as Stephen. 

I've now changed my profile picture to Samatha with her own grey hair and first hopeless attempt at make up .

I still have to venture out as Samantha but with the help of the lovely people on this site that big day gets closer xx

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Posts: 72
Lady
(@emily2day)
Estimable Member     DFW, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I have three different stories, 

1. The first time I ever went out en femme was to a friends Halloween party, there were friends that i have known for over 20 years there that didn't recognize me. the host actually told my wife that there was more to this than just a costume, she was right! and I was the hit of the party, that was several  years ago and they still talk about it.

2. The first time my sister-in-law met Emily, we all scheduled pedicures and make overs, mine was at a different time than her and my wife so I met them at a store after. I was standing in the isle next to them, when my wife said there is (male name) my sister-in-law looked all around and said where!

3. The wife and I went to a Holiday themed drag event several cities away from where we live, we walked through the front door and a couple we have known for many years yelled my wife's name from across the room, we went over and they were in awe! I said well now you know, we had the best night.

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1 Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@emily2day impressive!! Xx

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I was at the stage of coming out so family and a few friends knew but not the neighbours. One night dressed and expecting a friend the doorbell rang a little early but I was ready. I swung open the door and standing there was a neighbour!! She did needlework and had some trousers given to her by me to alter and she decided to drop them off.

I froze and she asked if - male name - was in so beckoned her in. She asked again looking round. I just said 'I'm here'. She looked me up and down and said'You look nice' and handed me the trousers. I asked what she was thinking and she didn't care. From that she encouraged me to tell other neighbours and with a wonderful acceptance I was able to come and go freely which led to me moving forward in my transition.

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1 Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@ab123 its lovely to hear such positive affirming stories

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Posts: 1805
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

For the first few months after going out en femme for the first time, I changed in my car because I didn't want the neighbors to know. I got tired of that fast so started darting in & out of the house when no one was around. Came home one day, was in my garage when I turned and found my female neighbor standing there saying "Hi". I froze, gave a feeble wave, said "Hi" and shut the door. The next day I talked to her and told her about my dressing and she was perfectly fine with it. She loves commenting on my various outfits.

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Posts: 328
Duchess
(@karla1958)
Honorable Member     Not in New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

My wife was visiting her brother in San Francisco so I was at home, alone.  Sundays are usually the day I go in to full Karla mode.  I had spent the day preparing myself...depilating, make-up, hair, dress and shoes. 

I decided that I did not want to cook supper.  So I made an order through Door Dash.  Now mind you, we spend a lot of time getting ourselves dolled up.  There was no way I was going to change clothes and wash off my make-up for a two second encounter.

When the doorbell rang, I went to the door, opened to find a young man on the other side.  He handed me my order and trying to speak as best as I could in a feminine manner said "Thank you."  He simply smiled and said "Have a good evening."  He walked away and that was that.

I know I didn't fool him but I do wonder how many times he's told his friends about this encounter.

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9 Replies
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@karla1958 Yep, my local postman, courier drivers and recently a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses, all get treated to the sight of me as Fiona if they come on a day when I'm dressed.  Sometimes the whole hog with hair and makeup, other times just clothes and jewellery.  No-one has batted an eyelid as yet.  I think there's only the window cleaner still to go 🙂

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@finallyfiona somedays when I'm dressed and alone in the house I would welcome a knock on door to see what I would do xx

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@samanthaxxxx The initial reaction is that pure 'fight or flight' moment - or at least, 'answer it or hide'.  You just have to put on a smile and go for it 🙂  I still get the slight shakiness from the adrenaline rush after the brief encounter is over, but familiarity will eventually blunt that right down and at that point I will really have arrived!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@finallyfiona will have to order a pizza tomorrow xx

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Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 602

@finallyfiona OK Fiona, I can complete the set for you. As you know I am out and about en-femme a lot of the time, but not all of the people who call on our home have seen me cross dressed. So a few days ago when we had returned from shopping we saw the window cleaner (really nice chap - DJ is his other job) coming down the path to the front door. There was nothing I could do except answer the door, have a brief chat about my crossdressing (he was totally cool about it), and as usual offer to make him a mug of coffee while he cleaned the windows.

The only 'sad' point is that he added "I've seen everything while working as a DJ, and my uncle is gay". Why should it be that so many people still conflate crossdressing with being gay?

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1461

@fembecky I agree, shame about the old-fashioned attitude but I guess to him a CD paying customer is as good as any other paying customer.  My window cleaner's a great guy too, the longest conversation I usually have at the front door is with him.  Fingers crossed, but I think he'll be fine.

Thinking back to the original topic of this thread, there was a scare when he turned up one day last year when I was still getting dressed 😳 but I can always hear him setting up his ladder at the front, which gives me time to get onto the stairs where I can't be seen through any window.

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Hostess
(@ab123)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Posts: 3446

@fembecky The window cleaners answer is a stock reply as it is seen as crossdressers are under the LBGT banner. The fact he was cool with it and sat having coffee would be good enough for me.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 12 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@karla1958 You clearly looked the part he probably just thought what a charming lady x

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Lady
(@alanmann)
Joined: 11 months ago

Estimable Member     Walkertown, North Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 59

@karla1958 I pretty sure he told his friends he meet I nice lady doing a door dash order.

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Posts: 372
Lady
(@vecca)
Reputable Member     Arizona, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

The funniest time I've been caught was actually unintentional. I got dressed for morning workouts (military) in a hurry after a "good night" with my girlfriend at the time. I didn't want to wake her so I got dressed in the dark. During sit ups, the guy holding my feet noticed a bit of lace and a bow while looking up my shorts. (Wonder why he was looking up my shorts.) He said in a whisper, "I can tell you had fun last night, but you might want to give her back her panties."

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Posts: 45
(@elizabethstone)
Estimable Member     Tulsa, Oklahoma, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Okay, my turn! I always dress nicely under my suits, casual, etc…one day not long ago, I was showing houses to a buyer. That afternoon as we were leaving a house, another realtor arrived to enter as we were exiting and locking up. Happens I know that realtor very well. We had not seen one another in a few weeks, so she naturally gave me a hug in greeting me. Her hand went over my camisole strap and then she felt the pretty stitching down my back. I was mortified!!! Without missing a beat, she winked at me with a knowing smile and patted me on the bottom as she slipped by me, I’m sure verifying I was indeed wearing panties and garters. To my relief, she only said we really need to get together over drinks soon! Never a word was shared with anyone else to my knowledge. And yes, when we see each other every so often, she gives me a big mischievous smile before she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. 

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Posts: 624
Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

One day I arrived at the office and my secretary had a shocked look on her face.  She exclaimed your wearing earrings!  I indeed had put on a pair of my wife's clip on earrings that morning and forgot to take them off.  I acted like I didn't know they were on me, which I didn't, and mumbled about killing my wife for this.  I am pretty sure she didn't buy that story for a minute.  Nothing more was ever said about it but I'm sure the secretarial pool was a buzz with that story for a while.

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Posts: 245
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Estimable Member
Joined: 12 months ago

On the window cleaner theme as a teenager at home I got dressed one day. Parents working and house to myself. I had long hair so no problem. Bra and kicks on next some cream coloured women's pants, blouse and block heeled boots as its 1982ish. Hair styled in a fashion and lippie on. Loving the time and walking around swinging my hips. Turn round and there's Robin Nedwell, UK readers will understand, for others he's a fictitious window scrubber. What could I do but brave it out and move to another room.

Anyhow he continued to do his job and give me a knowing smile when his ladders crossed my path.

Exciting and scary then, funny now.

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Posts: 245
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Estimable Member
Joined: 12 months ago

I have been getting a good amount of Chanel time and have become more comfortable going out on errands etc in Chanel mode and even in part femme mode, ie clothes and makeup, heels, no wig. I decided this was a bit too dangerous so I dialed it back, except trips to a few safe places that were far enough from home. One of these such places was the dry cleaners. For drop off and pick up they have seen me in drab, fully en femme, and partial. They are always polite and business like. They are a polite Asian family and I enjoy supporting their business. Well, last week I was continuing the “tone it down” mode and I went into their store in drab mode. I was scanning some recent Chanel photos on my phone of me in a purple chiffon and sequin gown, as I turned over my ticket and the owner returned with my items, I placed my phone down to retrieve my credit card to pay…and he said, “that’s you in photo- very pretty”…I said huh? He repeat himself and pointed to my phone “That’s you in the photo - you are very pretty”! I was flattered for a second and said thank you I just bought the gown…on the way out reality set in and it occurred to me that he now knew my appearance in drab, and as Chanel, and he knows my name. What if he sees me somewhere and says something?

what should I do now? Sorry, I guess this one wasn’t comic…

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