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The Darkside of Coming Out.

8 Posts
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Posts: 183
Lady
Topic starter
(@micknkeef)
Estimable Member     Irvine, California, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I befriended someone at my local watering hole. No one really liked him because he was gay. You learn a lot about others in a situation like this. Homophobia and such. But I found him a great conversationalist and funny. As we got to know each other he was very open about the difficulties and struggles of coming out. After about a year I decided to tell him about my little crossdressing secret. At first he seemed to very curious and interested. But as time went by he became snarky and slightly demeaning in his attitude toward me. "Why aren't wearing heels?" "What colour panties are you wearing?" "Would you like to do that guy?". Let me state upfront that it's femininity I love, including TG women and CDs. Guys just don't do it for me. So after awhile I get a text from him. "You can't be my friend. Your not real. Your a faker. Your not who you say you are". Then he dropped the bomb. "Maybe you need a push". After the initial shock wore off, anger set in. How dare he threaten me! I let him know that it would not be in HIS best interest to out me. Chatted with some folks on FetLife and ALT I had befriended and was told to drop him like a bad habit. No one needs someone like that in their life. I do see him occasionally but he gives me a wide berth. People have asked what happened between us as we seemed to be such good friends. I just smile and say we just don't see eye to eye in certain issues and leave it at that. At the time this happened I had worked up the courage to go to a local FET munch. But I immediately retreated back into the closet and have yet to go to a munch. I have since told two close friends and thankfully they are very, very supportive. One even offered to take me with her to get waxed. <giggle> I have found women are far more supportive of my lifestyle choice.  Be safe all.

Love and Peace.

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7 Replies
Posts: 183
Lady
Topic starter
(@micknkeef)
Estimable Member     Irvine, California, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Thank you for responding to my initial post. Read your profile. People like you humble me. So brave to come out to your SO. Still trying to navigate this site. So different to FET or Alt.

Love and Peace.

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Posts: 1118
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

A very meaningful writing, Amber. We have all been disappointed once or twice. I believe that respect must be above all things in friendship. It is necessary to understand that each one travels his own journey. Each one decides it. And so we are learning. It is not sensible to try to mold others at our whim. He really made a bad move. A very disrespectful one. Keep going strong.

Gisela

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Amber ,

Quite disrespectful & distasteful  actions by him . I've only been on CDH a month but have been able to communicate with some wonderful girls , I certainly don't regret joining , hope you have the same experience  , Tiffany

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Posts: 934
Lady
(@ashleigh)
Noble Member     Ocala, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

It’s always a disappointment when we think we have found someone safe to confide in, only to realize we have made a drastic mistake. I find it odd that the people we feel should be the most understanding, aren’t always.

Sorry about your experience, but don’t let it sour you on sharing yourself with others. It is an extremely liberating feeling. You just have to be careful.

Emily

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Posts: 180
(@sweetdani4luv)
Reputable Member     Sarasota, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I have also experienced hostility from gay men and lesbian women when they have learned I am a full time crossdresser but not planning to completely transition with SRS. I find the intolerance ironic but haters gonna hate.

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Posts: 2296
Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

For me, crossdressing has always been about fun, excitement, thrill and rush tat comes with it. I like being a guy but my fantasies take me to being fully femme, pretty and sexy.

I liked my girl power.I enjoyed teasing and flirting to get attention, compliments, admiration, adoration and loving. Who was gay, straight, bi, curious, confused about wanting a sexy girl who was actually a guy really didn't matter. I was young and it was fun.

So now gays don't like CD's because they don't dress and go out all the time? Trans girls don't like CD's because they are not serious. They just dress for fun. And what else? CD's like me just ant to have fun.

I'm not and never have been judgemental. We can all get together and have fun if we want to. Respect each other and act within limits.

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Posts: 879
Lady
(@mary)
Noble Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 4 years ago

You threatened his security to play the victim card. (Which can often be a form of gas lighting manipulation.)

Nobody likes me. Everyone hates me. Think I'll go eat worms.

He came out and it caused him problems. Why should you be safe....

 

 

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