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This was a bit of a ramble. Apologies in advance! 😆
A few weeks after telling my Wife about my feminine side, we decided she would meet that version of me one afternoon after work.
I spent the day leading up to that absolutely terrified as I'd never shown myself to anyone in person before!
The first words out of the mouth upon seeing me were 'I...don't recognise you at all!', which I had very mixed feelings about as this was the person I'd been closest to for the past 20+ years.
Fortunately it was not a negative response, just shock to how different I looked & behaved. Took me a while to process that as it was very unexpected. I still feel very much me even if my deportment is a bit different (apparently even my voice is softer, which I had not consciously noticed).
Being accepted by her was a big thing for me & strangely since then, after being so self-conscious about my feminine side for so long, I no longer really care about what anyone else thinks about me & am more confident & at ease with myself.
I know I've been very fortunate & my heart goes out to anyone who's had a less than understanding response from their other half.
Lea xx
@leauk I did this more in stages. Firstly nigthwear, then day wear, then adding a wig, then adding makeup, then going smooth.
If i had to put a complete "first time" it was when I went for a makeup lesson and my wife came with me. I've got some photos, one of which I posted in the gallery, looking very awkward. My look and confidence has grown a lot since then.
Anna x
Dear Lea , Yes , for me there is No understanding from all my people and I very much Love hearing how you are being Accepted for your true self .
@leauk Such a positive response and a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
C💋
@leauk My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. I explained, the clothes she saw lying about were mine. I enjoy wearing them. I went in the bedroom and out them on , even doing makeup.
When I walked out, she was shocked and stunned at how pretty and sexy I was and how different I looked.
That day, we went out shopping as girlfriends and had many girl's times out after that.
@leauk if married, having a tolerant wife, abets a totally accepting one is the cornerstone of our happiness. You are blessed!
What a wonderful experience for you Lea. Pretty sure that wouldn't work for me 😢 xx.
My partner wanted to see me dressed almost immediately I told that her I enjoyed wearing women's clothes. I rather think she may have thought I would appear in some sort of tacky 'cheap tranny' or stag-do outfit, and she was actually very impressed that I actually looked OK and dressed tastefully. 🙂
She also was very supportive from the outset and has encouraged me to be true to myself. And how right you are about being fortunate Lea; I could not (and after 3 and a half years, still cannot) believe my luck.
How lovely, Lea.
how did your wife take it when you first told her? I’m still trying to work out if I should tell my wife, and if so how.
@beckyw Surprisingly well given she was raised a Catholic & is 16 years older than me! I knew she was an open & accepting person in general, but how ever much you know a person you can never be 100% sure how they will react when it effects them directly.
She is happy for me to be feminine at home at least. Not so keen on me going out dressed (though she said she would not stop me if I wanted to).
It's not an easy decision to make telling your partner, but you know her best. I went with my gut & was lucky.
Lea if you want to see a ramble - read one of my posts. I’m a chatty girl with opinions.🥰
My wife and I were married in 2012. She knew I had crossdressed in the past. Her and I got together during one of my dormant phases. Crossdressing was in the background, known, but not discussed much. 4 years into retirement I decided I needed another hobby and looked back to my love of all things girly. (Which had never gone away. I was just abstaining, busy with other things.)
Recently she took a 3 week trip and I hinted that maybe when she was away I would “practice my old hobby”. She said - “Go ahead, prance around in your pantyhose while I’m gone.” Well, that sounded like a green light to me - so I bought two dresses with all the fixin’s and have a few nights visiting Graceland. Took some pics. (They didn’t have all these fancy convenient camera phones on my first go round.)
My first thoughts were - “I really missed this side of me!” I dressed up twice while she was away and loved every minute of it. I was packing it all up before she came home and paused and thought “I like seeing Grace’s stuff in my closet” so I left it semi-out.
She gets back, sees some of it and immediately starts making comments on my choices…(ya gotta love women🥰 they just can’t help themselves when it comes to options on clothing) -
“That’s the dress you like?” “You need a better wig” “Let me get you some lip pencils so you can practice”
Then we went shopping to the consignment stores and thrift shops - one of her most favorite things to do btw. When I’m in drab mode I want nothing to do with them -but when in the “pink fog” I found I was all over it.
Then she brought up…”Maybe I want to see you all dolled up next time we get ready to do our thing…” Yeah?, Yeah, maybe. Ok, I can work with that! Then she says -“Well, what if I get all excited…?” Well, I can really work with that!!!
The best part of that response is she’s willing to get out of her comfort zone and try something new. She has told me in the past she has a few fantasies of her own. Which I cannot wait to point out to her in the proper moment…”That’s exactly what we girls are trying to do when we crossdress, experience some fantasies.” Point out to her, hey, we’re totally alike. If we can’t trust each other with our deep dark secrets, who can we trust?
Moral of this story is that by taking baby steps with your wife and having a sense of humor about it all - it should help ease her fears and maybe ease her into it.
GP
@gracepal That was a lovely read Grace. Thank you! & yes we've found having a sense of humour helps a lot! ❤️
While I appreciate that many here need to stay deeply hidden, I am of the opinion that most spouses will accept, or at least tolerate this side of us if we give them the chance. We under estimate them to our own detriment.
I love a good coming out story, esocially with such a happy result. I feel most of us would be happier if I spouse knew, even if rhey don't accept it and end in a DADT situation. Again, I know for some this just is not an option and I feel sorry for those who can't.
I had worn panties, bras and other lingerie with my wife for years before I started adding outer wear. Once I did I felt a need to tell my wife. I figured it was just a matter of time before she figured it out anyway, so bettwr to be proactive rather rhan reactive.
The first time I fully dressed with wig and all, (she had seen me in a dress, or lingerie, but never the whole outfit,) her comment was that I look like my mother. I asked if that was a good or bad thing, and she quickly recovered and we had a lovely dinner with a nice bottle of wine and a fun evening.
I remember my first outfit was a leotard then when we bought are house maid outfit then times changed and lost all support so I still stay in the closet deeply
You are one lucky lady Lea!
