Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

The need to go out dressed

55 Posts
30 Users
124 Reactions
389 Views
Posts: 1099
 Lea
Lady
Topic starter
(@lea-jhene)
Noble Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

It's a need, not an urge, or a want for me. I need to go out dressed every so often. It seems I'm wired that way.

Even just wearing feminine shoes with a male outfit, or a feminine watch / bracelet, but it has to be something visible to declare to the world that I am different.

And sometimes, when I can't go out dressed, I underdress and smile that I am different.

And once in a while, I fulfill that by going out fully dressed from the neck down. 

And everyday, I dress at home, even something simple.

And when I can't fall asleep, I think about how great it feels to be dressed. And I fall asleep.

And, there's a calm and serenity that doing this makes me feel.

What's your level of need to go out dressed vs just dressed?

Reply
54 Replies
18 Replies
(@jennyphose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     West Midlands, United Kingdom
Posts: 93

@lea-jhene 

Hi Lea

I think I am the same - I need to do it every so often too…. I just can’t as often as I’d like.

Being fully dressed, and made up, being that other side of me, out in public is the ultimate rush - it’s fun, it’s a release, it’s being that other person and not bothering what anyone else thinks (if they look up from their phones long enough to notice that is!) 

So in between times when I can’t dress, like you, I think about it often, and maybe plan the next time in my head….

I might get brief half hours here and there to slip into something  but no time for make up or going out… these help but are not the real deal.

I make do by underdressing most days in silky undies and sheer glossy tights…I also paint my toenails red, and shave my legs, chest and underarm… it helps keep my femme side alive, even if hidden. 

Keep doing what you love, and we should all try to do more of that…

Jen x

 

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@jennyphose Thanks for the post!!

Keep doing what you love, and we should all try to do more of that...

Absolutely!! That slogan should be on our CD flag.

Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 803

@lea-jhene I've been out dressed just twice & right now it doesn't seem like that is going to increase. I had always thought that I would probably feel the need more as time went on but that hasn't proved to be the case. I'm always underdressed wherever I am & at home I barely wear anything but a dress or skirt but it just hasn't moved outside. If I'm honest I was just too on edge when out so I didn't really enjoy the experience & enjoying it is what it's all about so, at least for now, I will keep things at home.

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@sashabennett I was on edge at first too. I forced myself to go to several stores in one outing, and the confidence grew with each stop. That confidence used to reset back to square one each time I dressed and went out.

Then one day, a thought hit me..... take a deep breath, "I have the right to dress this way, it's normal, it's me". The anxiety and nervousness is gone now.

Reply
Lady
(@sashabennett)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     Wick, Caithness, United Kingdom
Posts: 803

@lea-jhene Glad it has worked out for you. I have heard this opinion from just about everyone & I dare say it would be like that if I went for it. Thing is, I just don't feel any great need to do it. This is probably hard to understand for many but I know who I am & how I view myself regardless of what style of fabric I'm wearing. I will never say never but as things stand I'm okay with the status quo.

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@sashabennett That's wonderful... knowing and accepting who you are is the golden path to happiness in life! I'm so happy you found that!!

Reply
Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 478

@lea-jhene Ever since I began dressing so very long ago I had the need. I had to be part of the larger world outside my closet. I had to express this part of me for all to see. 

Now retired I dress daily, go out frequently and the need is still there. Perhaps even increasing a little day by day. Maybe there's more to it than meets the eye.

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@cherylt That's beautiful that you can go out dressed frequently. We need that.

Reply
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Posts: 758

@lea-jhene I can’t really explain why I want to go out and about.  The only logical explanation I can guess is that it gets awfully lonely sitting around at home dressed as a pretty woman, and I want to show off.  I’m guessing that’s why every woman wants to get dressed up and get out.

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@jennconn Loneliness and boredom when dressed at home... I know what you mean. It's fun to play dress up at home. It's exhilarating to go out dressed.

Reply
(@justnikki)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 485

@lea-jhene My need to be out en femme is quite high. I'm fortunate to live in a very accepting place and to have a community that doesn't mind me being me. I was out all day and into the evening on Sunday, starting with a friends drag brunch. There were a lot of people who haven't seen me out before and it was fine, it always has been. I'm sure the day will come when I'll have a negative interaction, but after 2 and a half years of being out it hasn't happened yet and I'm confident enough in my self and have enough support from friends and community that I'll be able to roll with it when it does. I need to go out on the regular and am fortunate that my wife is always game!

Reply
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Joined: 2 months ago

Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Posts: 296

@justnikki and if you have any problems when you're out, just beat the crap out of them. then they will look like a fool getting beat up by a girl. probably why no one bothers us. plus other people would see someone picking on a girl and step in. i have a lot of guy tell me if anyone gives you a hard time, let me know. (but it never happens)

Reply
(@justnikki)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Posts: 485

@prettytoes True story, girlfriend!

Reply
(@katherineboesemann)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa
Posts: 192

@lea-jhene I know that "need". 

I am not convinced that I could pass as an average woman in public and being the perfectionist that I am, tend to dress fully only in the privacy of my home - venturing out onto my very public driveway only between sunset and sunrise.

I will, however, wear subtle make up when out in the daytime - underdressed, of course (and smile that I am different).

Katherine x

 

Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@katherineboesemann If it helps, I don't pass at all. I only dress from the neck down. I love my guy haircut and facial hair (well groomed), I don't use makeup (yet), and I simply soften my guy voice (not trying to pass).

I venture out and have even received compliments (all from women) when dressed about my shoes, necklace, my smile (my teeth aren't perfect), my confidence to dress how I feel. And I've seen lots of encouraging smiles. It all feels good.

Reply
(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1201

@lea-jhene I need to go out dressed because that is a reflection of my authentic self.   I want to relate to the world as a woman and I want the world to see me as a woman.

Reply
(@rachelle71)
Joined: 7 years ago

Estimable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 61

@lea-jhene 

It used to be a want for me, but now it's a need since the first time I did it.

First time wasn't much - heels, girl jeans, and underdressed. And then girl jeans, full top and someone asked about the boy boots I had on, I knew nobody cared when I was wearing.

I ordered girl boots and girl winter jacket and gloves as soon as I got back.

When out in that, nobody raised an eyebrow.

Almost every day, I need to take a walk over to the gas station or a grocery store, or a  Tims when dressed. And every day, I'm underdressed. I have far more panties than boy underwear.

This weekend was amazing for me being fully dressed to go and see a sister for a makeover. Next time will be fully girl driving back.

It just felt  - RIGHT!

Reply
(@cdashley)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1488

@lea-jhene I’m very similar in the way that I wear panties and a bralette daily, I underdress for work ( panties , bralette , cami, and pantyhose in the cooler months). I have been out fully dressed but like you when I can’t I’ll still wear my woman’s jeans and top, of course my under things , light makeup which is getting heavier all the time , a nice shot of perfume with no wig or forms in. I do what my wife calls my “ morning fix” of pantyhose and a mini skirt for my morning coffee.

Reply
Posts: 1312
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Apart from a skirt that I wear in the evenings (because it's comfortable), the only time I get dressed now is to actually go out. I went out today—forms, makeup, skirt, boots, wig, the whole works really—to Truro in south west Cornwall UK, shopping with my wife; had a great time. I don't really have a need, I just like going out. It is hiding in plain sight, I suppose, just pretending to be someone else; it's just a fun thing to do.

I may do it again tomorrow, visiting somewhere else; or I may not, as the mood strikes me.

Becca

Reply
1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@rebeccabaxter I love it, "hiding in plain sight".

Reply
Posts: 57
Lady
(@randialex)
Estimable Member     Shaftesbury, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 months ago

I always wear bra and knickers, I either tape my chest to try and fill  an A cup or put B boobs in my bra. At home I always dress fem when going out I usually wear women's size 16 jeans and trainers. I always use eye makeup and style my hair. A few times I have gone out in a skirt and completely fem which I love as I feel complete and intend to do it more often as my confidence grows.

I feel a different person these days, I'm calmer, at ease and a whole person. I'm old and live on my own with my dog and really people can accept me or not - not my problem

Reply
1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@randialex There is truly that calming effect that dressing has in us. Getting deep for a moment.... it unleashes a very suppressed side of us, lets the princess out of the tower. I find I am a very calm, level headed person... Dressing helps maintain that. And honestly, it harms no one.

Reply
Posts: 822
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

I'm lucky that I can dress when I like, and venture out most days as Cerys. 

Before I was out and open, and things were kept secret, I used to wear female underwear all the time. I haven't owned male underwear for ten years or more. Knowing that no-one else knew was quite special. 

A couple of years ago, I got my ears pierced. I would wear small hoops or fancy studs to work. No one commented. It was great to have a snack part of my secret on display. 

Surely after, after a serious illness, I came completely out as as crossdresser. No one cared. I showed them photos. I couldn't really dress for work due to the nature of the job, but I did attend a Christmas party as Cerys and all of the comments were positive, and a few tried to persuade me to go to work as Cerys. I never did. 

I lost that job when the contract ended. This was back in August. I've usually lived as Cerys since then. I'm Cerys most days. 

I've recently had my hair cut and now I have no make I mode option. Cerys is becoming an even bigger part if my life. I'm more comfortable and confident as Cerys, but I know I'm not trans. Cerys is my superhero alter ego. 

Cerys 

Reply
Posts: 296
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

it was -17 this morning and it didn't get above 20 degrees today. been like that for a few days now and will be like that the rest of the week. i'm going nuts here. not being able to go out dressed is cramping my style. i'm like a caged animal waiting to get out dressed. summer hurry up and get here. i need to strut my stuff, show my style, be seen and get complements and hugs. sitting in the house isn't working for me, even tho i'm a little dressed. i need to be out there. my public is waiting. when you go out 4 or 5 times a week then have to stop because mother nature deals you a super cold spell. i need a pedicure bad. my toes look like sh*t. let's pray for warmer weather, short skirts, open toe sandals and everything this crossdresser needs. 

Reply
3 Replies
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@prettytoes That is crazy cold. I couldn't endure the not going out part. I have to go out. I would love though to have some fleece lined tights, a fem scarf, and fur lined fem boots.

It's cold where I live, but not as cold as you're seeing. I still wore sandals out twice in the past 2 weeks to show off my home done pedi. It was nice to be mostly warm with very cool feeling feet. Though the grocery cold aisle was pushing me to my limit... loll.

Reply
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Joined: 2 months ago

Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Posts: 296

@lea-jhene i'll wear my sandals out until there's snow on the ground. somethings even when there's snow on the ground if i can get inside where its warm. i don't get a pedicure for nothing.

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 1060

@prettytoes I feel your pain girlfriend.

Reply
Posts: 77
(@mirandam)
Estimable Member     Bay Area, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 months ago

I agree - there is a certain calmness and excitement I feel when going out dressed up.  At home I’ll dress a little bit, but it just isn’t the same unless we have all the close and heels and makeup.  

I tried to explain this to my wife-for me it’s like the difference between listening to music on my phone vs being at a concert.  The phone is fun but just can never match the experience of being there live.

For me, going to the mall is kind of meh.  But when I go to the mall female, it becomes much more exciting.  Cafe .. sure I like it.  But going to the cafe female just makes it much more exciting.

So yes I do indeed feel that need to go out.  🩷

Reply
3 Replies
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@mirandam We must be soul sisters... I feel the same way too!

Reply
Lady
(@prettytoes)
Joined: 2 months ago

Prominent Member     alfred, Maine, United States of America
Posts: 296

@mirandam you're a showgirl like me Smile Face

Reply
(@mirandam)
Joined: 3 months ago

Estimable Member     Bay Area, California, United States of America
Posts: 77

@prettytoes it’s kind a delicate balance for me.

its great to be out and seen as a woman … but not grab too much attention.  It’s always a goal to be seen as “one of the girls “ when i go out 💅🏽

Reply
Posts: 73
Lady
(@nataliecd)
Estimable Member     Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I don't really feel the need to get dressed or have something feminine all the time. I am fine being in boy mode a fair bit of the time. I am wanting Natalie to make an appearance more than she has but I am also someone who has, and wants, two completely different sides. I am in boy mode a lot but I don't have a desire to cross the streams so to speak.

So, for me, I will dress as Natalie when I feel the time is right and up until now I will do it almost entirely to go out. I have had a couple of instances where I bring out Natalie just for a nice day in with my partner. These are fewer than I would actually like them. I do want Natalie to be present at home. But it is still an all or nothing thing for me.

Reply
4 Replies
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@nataliecd Very interesting. All or nothing. Most of the time not needing to dress. Wow! It's always great to read different experiences and perspectives.

Reply
(@coloradog1)
Joined: 2 years ago

Honorable Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 281

you have a lovely name natalie 

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@brycenee24)
Joined: 6 months ago

Trusted Member     San Francisco, California, United States of America
Posts: 38

@nataliecd I feel very similar to what you're describing. "crossing the streams" 🙂 I used to be able to just do an item or two and be happy with that. but now I look in the mirror and think "hmmm - that doesn't feel quite right without the hair too" and then once I have the hair I need the makeup and then I need it all! So it ends up being all or nothing and I really like that for now

Reply
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1017

@nataliecd Absolutely Natalie. Totally relatable to me. Whenever I have the choice of “this or that?” I’m the one answering “Both?”🥰

Reply
Posts: 281
(@coloradog1)
Honorable Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Same here. I’ll go weeks or even months without dressing. Every time I’m don’t think it will happen but the need ALWAYS comes back.

Reply
Posts: 4010
Lady
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

I can't say that I have a need to crossdress. It's all want and, because of my style (not en femme), I can do this 100% of my time while abroad. No down time just feels right.

Reply
Posts: 2101
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Lea -

Thank you for an interesting topic.

I dress pretty much everyday in the morning while my wife is still sleeping. It is simple outfits I wear - dresses, skirt/top combos, nighties, leggings and top -all depends on my mood when I wake up. My ears are pierced so I wear earrings 24/7, mostly studs and small hoops but at times dangling ones with the more femme ones reserved for in the house. I do underdress on occasion in panties and have gone out wearing knee high nylons and ankle boots. Just yesterday I wore in white cotton panties, black tights, pink tank top (under my sweater) and black suede ankle boots under my male stretch jeans and heavy sweater. When I dress it makes me feel serene and my wife notices. I think that is part of why she has become more accepting of my dressing. I don't have the time to wear make up and a wig often but do what I can when I can. It is exciting to be out and about underdressed knowing others don't know or realize it.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@cdsue Serene... that's how I feel too when dressed. Knee highs were my main underdressing item for years. I guess I've come a long way since then.

My more daring, yet sort of underdressed, is when I wear women's jeans that are tighter than my usual baggy jeans. Or my obviously fem footwear that sort of blends in.

Reply
Posts: 330
Lady
(@ria)
Reputable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

I try to out every morning as a woman. In the summer I wear bralettes and in the colder weather A bra with forms is the norm. I have met people on the streets while dressed en femme and have never had any bad reactions.

The winter weather does allow me to be totally en femme as boots and jackets do not reveal a lot.

Reply
2 Replies
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@ria I love the idea of dressing as part of my daily routine. It feels like good self-care, good mental health to do so.

Reply
Lady
(@ria)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 330

@lea-jhene You are so right.

Reply
Posts: 95
(@judevderl)
Estimable Member     London, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 months ago

I have a need to go out fully dressed and made up as it is only then that I feel I am being my true femme self. On average, this now happens about once a month.

I dress at home when working from home alone, but I have to admit to it being a bit over the top as in High heels; Tight pencil skirts; Extremely long hair and bigger boobs. As fun as it is, I would never consider stepping out of the door with that kind of look.

When everything falls into place and I am off work with the day to myself, I will fully dress in a more subdued, but stylish and feminine way (at least I think it is) and feel content with my appearance and at ease with being outdoors. It is something that I feel the need to do in my own quiet way.

Reply
Posts: 3425
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

It used to be a 'want' which became a 'need' to go out, then a reality. I never wanted to go out anything other than fully dressed.

Reply
Posts: 316
(@oliviac)
Prominent Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 2 years ago

Great topic Lea. In your post you said they key word. Serenity. To quote a line from the Aussie movie The Castle. "Ah the serenity". This week was an example of just how big a difference that serenity of being out in public as Olivia makes.

Last week I got unexpected results in a blood test that they may not have got all the cancer in the operation. The doc said he wanted me to take the blood test again as he said the result didn't make sense to him. As you can expect that shook me up. I spent a few days moaping around a bit aimlessly then came the day when I usually dress up and go out as Olivia. From the moment I started to get dressed into female clothes that was the focus. I left behind all the doom and gloom and was just enjoying the moment. I went to the beach in what I thought was a gorgeous summer dress and strolled along the beach. It was 33 degrees (90 in Fahrenheit) so it was a bit hot but I had the sea breeze blowing (so much so I had to grab my dress once or twice to not do a Marilyn Monroe) and it was just a lovely place to be the female me. I then went to the shopping centre and picked up a few things I needed and enjoyed a lovely lunch at a cafe. Ah the serenity. It made me feel relaxed, grounded and helped me process what was going on.

Since that day I have been back to pretty much normal. While still worried I have been able to get on with life till today I got the wonderful news that my second blood test was all ok. It was the result he had expected the first test to show. We will keep monitoring it but it is looking like things are all good. 

On the average about one day a week I will go through the hour long process to transform myself into Olivia. I need to be female. I need to be Olivia. Like you Lea I need to go out dressed. It grounds me. I could say it completes me.

Reply
1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@oliviac Thank you! Thank you for sharing your wondeful story of dressing and going out. I'm happy that getting dressed helped you find that Serenity.

Hugs. Hope the cancer is gone.

Reply
Posts: 13
Lady
(@demi)
Eminent Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Dress at home lots ! I really enjoy getting out for a stroll rather often fully dressed.l. Being close to Cape Cod is great . A wonderful place to go out in Fem mode 🙂 In fact will be going tomorrow for a day maybe 2. Will need winter cloths cause it is Cold here. I enjoy the winter look in addition to all the other seasons. Winter boots, jeans or yoga pants,short parka, cute hat with pom pom 🙂 . Pass pretty well and just Love it..Then cozy bamboo PJ's. for lounging at night. Nice to hear others adventures. 🙂

Reply
1 Reply
 Lea
Lady
(@lea-jhene)
Joined: 9 years ago

Noble Member     California, United States of America
Posts: 1099

@demi I love the simple things, like a stroll, or running some errand, while dressed or partially dressed. It feels goid to feel normal.

Reply
Page 1 / 2

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!