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All,
I've been doing CD for a little over a year, but in the last three weeks my desire to dress has gotten so much stronger! I went through a four week period where I couldn't dress at all, and thought I was fine with it. I got the chance just after that period, and spent several hours out and about in full Leah mode and it was wonderful! Shortly after that, I found I *really* wanted to dress, but circumstances dictated I couldn't, so I underdressed with Bra, panties, and Breast Enhancers (essentially half Forms). I wore a loose fleece jacket to conceal things. This underdressing has happened almost every day in the past three weeks, along with four or five glorious full dressing days.
It got so strong one Sunday afternoon that I snuck upstairs (the wife was watching TV downstairs) and had to put on my wig and flat shoes and sit around. That helped satisfy the urge.
I'm not sure if the long time between dressing is what triggered this, or if this signifies a change in my Trans viewpoint.
Any thoughts?
Leah
Yes, for me I can get very frustrated and stressed when I cannot dress for a while. I am in the closet so can go for ages without dressing. Once I can dress then the sense of calm returns.
Hi Leah,
Good question. When I first started dressing again, the calm I felt was truly amazing. After a while, when i could not get a chance to dress, I would feel grumpy, so would do little things, like wear lipstick or under dress as well to help abate the frustration of not feeling like I had a chance to express myself as Michelle. Now that I dress more often, the urge is not as strong. But that sense of calm is still there.
Michelle
My dressing began at 4 with pantyhose, heels and a shirt. At 17 I began feminizing my look and began partially dressing in public. At 18 in college I began dressing fully fem. It was everyday at home, going out often for the excitement, thrill and rush of it and attending crossdreessing, gender bending or fetish parties as often as possible.
After college, I mostly stopped dressing fully fem. Still, I kept several pairs of pantyhose, a few pairs of shoes and some of my favorite outfits for those times when I just had to wear something. it was always thrilling and exciting to do so.
About 7 years ago I began dressing fully fem again. The kids had grown and went out on their own. The wife thought since we were kind of like back to where we started, I might want to dress again like I did when we were young. Now I dress everyday at home, get out as often as I can and attend as many social functions as I can make. It's fun, exciting, thrilling and a rush I can't get from anything else. When I'm dressed, I feel so natural, comfortable and right. This is me. It's how I'm supposed to dress. I love being a crossdresser and being gender fluid.
I've heard and been told so many times, "once you try crossdressing, you can never go back". I believe that is true. We crossed that line. We tried crossdressing.
Leah, thanks so much for posting!
I too often have strong feelings of wanting to crossdress. I can't explain why, but it's a part of me that makes me feel happy, good, motivated, confused, sad, all of it. I too find that I sometimes have to sneak off for a few minutes of "me time" at home, put on one of my favorite outfits and heels, only to be saddened when I have to change back into drab mode.
My wife knows about my crossdressing, but isn't exactly encouraging. I know she doesn't understand why I have a need to dress up, wear women's shoes out, or why I need a collection of women's clothes, shoes, and bras.
There is something comforting about all of it, something that feels natural, something that feels normal to at least me.
I'm so glad you posted, it does help in some way to know that there are others having the same experiences, just like you and me!
It's called The PINK fog
My dressing urges lie dormant for weeks, sometimes months. Then.. I need to dress in femme clothes! I need to feel a bust in a dress, a skirt around my nylons...
I am lucky in that I don't need to supress my urges to be dressed at home as my gf encourages and even enjoys me femme. I often underdress for work especially if I think it's going to be a stressful day as it calms me. My confusion starts when i get urge to go out in public....I have a fairly extensive wardrobe but don't yet go full femme, no hair or makeup, just haven't brought myself round to doing it. One without the other is not really acceptable even to me, I suppose I just need to kick my own little ass and get it done.
Hi Leah, your story sounds familiar. With me it just became such a strong desire that I could not stop my self. I have purged several times, only to regret it later when the desire returned again. After getting married the second time I vowed not to do it again, a massive purge and then the stress where I found myself raiding my wife's panty drawer. Not a good thing. She noticed and then I started the buying again. I have given over, now divorced once more I can dress as I like when I am home, I look and hope to find ways I can go out, but they are few and rare it seems. Hang in there girl, with time comes experience and although difficult it can be done.
The urge to dress is with me all the time, but I have to suppress it b/. for weather. Australian summers are too hot and b/. my SO knows but "does not want to know".
So I have to be content with underdressing on cooler days and nights and making the most of overnight "days away" volunteering for a charity about 2 hrs from home. Could drive back, but hey a night in a hotel room as Caty is better than nothing at all.
It used to be every two weeks when we lived in teh country, but now we are back in the big smoke my so does not do those "2 nighters" anymore, so nowhere near as much Caty time
Frustrating? most definitely, but to do otherwise puts too much stress on 'er indoors, so its me who has to "comply".
But then its "second time around" for both of us, so "you do what you gotta do" in life to make sure both are happy
Caty
Hello Leah; I'm the same as you. I also feel the urge to dress en fem after a while, since I live my public life as male. I get frustrated when I can't express my true self. I had a 4 month lapse earlier this year as I wasn't able to attend my CD/TG support group meetings. It's there that I get out fully dressed as Brittney. Only shopping, trying on new clothes at home when alone, and attending my group's board meeting got my through. I believe our sisters who live their fem life 24/7 or have transitioned have it better and easier.
My circumstances are similar to you and other girls who have commented. The urge to dress is always there even when I can't. I satisfy it somewhat by doing some shopping and planning for the next opportunity. I have recently started wearing a little makeup at work. Not enough to be noticed by my office staff but enough for me to know that it is there. Small victory.