Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I was chatting with random people on kik i found through a gay subreddit on reddit when i found a user who stated they were going to be in my hometown for a few days. They too were a crossdresser, certainly someone who could pull of the look better than i could and they were looking for an oppotunity to, put it mildly, spend some quality time with another man or crossdresser. We talked for a bit and realized they were gone by tomorrow evening. I planned for a hotel room and shared several pictures swimsuits i had with me we could wear. I had never gone this far with my crossdressing habit and a deep sense of unease about the whole scenario began to wash over me, as if telling me that what i was doing was disgraceful and terrible. As the time drew near, i had a luggage case of outfits and was about to confirm the booking of the room but i couldnt do it. I just couldnt do it. In the end i cancelled the whole thing and unpacked everything. I feel a mixture of ease and regret on what could have been a brand new experience but never mind. For now my crossdressing stays with me.
Hi Alexa
I just read your post and just wanted to say that I think that you made the right decision. You'll know when it's time to come out to another crossdresser. Your reservations about meeting this person is understandable. Coming out to someone is like going out dressed en femme the first time. It has to feel right before you can do it. Don't worry about it. You'll know when you meet the right person who you feel comfortable enough with to tell them that you are a crossdresser
A gal who knows
Janine
Have done the same thing. Was going on a business trip had it all setup for me and another crossdresser to get together. Just like you didn't feel right so canceled the whole thing.
Not sure why but agree if it does not feel right then don't do it. Think you made the right decision.
Meeting another person like yourself is a big step. I went to my 1st CD party in 1978 or 9.it was at a private home and I didn't know anyone there. I sat next to another CD and we began to tell each others stories. I felt like I was talking to myself and that the other person was reading my mind. It was the greatest feeling to know that there was another person just like me.
Terri
I was at my bank and one of the tellers asked me about my nails, I have them done every 2 weeks and I had just returned from there and he asked. The conversation progressed into "How do you feel about crossdressing and going out in public?" I told him/her about going to a group of us who met out at the VA Mental Clinic every 2 weeks and we discussed that via e-mail, I was feeling comfortable about this and she also seemed comfortable but it has been 9 days since I've heard from her. Maybe the holidays has cooled her ardor so I'll let it simmer for a while.
As one of the more "senior" members of this site, I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to meet another one of our "tribe"... (And yes, that was a very long time ago).
These days.... Due to the more open and communicative way we live, (especially on sites like this), meeting another CD for (platonic!!!) friendships is one of the lovely things about the society in which we all live.
There's no better example of this than the article recently published on here, "Dani's Debut"AKA how I met Dani via CDH, we first met for coffee's and last year I took her "public" for the first time.
Just pick a neutral (public) meeting place eg coffees, and go from there.
Happy dressing (and meeting)
Caty.
PS To add a bit of levity to our coffee mornings, Dani and I MUST show up underdressed. She who does not buys the coffees!!
It is a scary thing to meet someone that you hardly know especially since we do tend to keep ourselves secretive about dressing for any number of reasons. I do think that joining support groups or even meeting in a more public space possibly in drab might help. In the meantime you have all of us here at CDH!
Hugs,
Michelle
I think you did the right thing.
I think this is a very relatable experience for many actually, as a few responders also noted. I myself have done this in the past, and also had it done to me.
I may have a CD "date" set up with a man (or another CD) and then at the last minute....nerves, cold feet, whatever gets the best of either party and the date never happens.
Sometimes life happens - just this past week I had a mid-week date set with a man and we had a weather event occur. Which pretty much never happens here and yet it did this one week on that one day only! Funny how life often intervenes. 🙁
I would say though that those times I have gone through with the CD date and actually met a man have been just incredible. 5 to 10 times maybe, but never once had a bad experience. All were fun and a few were absolute heaven. But there's just something about getting there first that is so very difficult to overcome. I don't know why.
Having come from a military and law enforcement career path I can say unequivocally that my "gut feeling" about something has saved my life on several occasions. Anytime a decision keeps you up at night or you just don't feel right about it, that is your brain sending warning alarms that it should not be done. You did the right thing.
I've done it once - met up with a stranger from AFF who wanted me. It was fun but too short. It was quite a few years ago when I was very pretty. I'm working toward making it happen again. I want much more from this life! Yes, there are risks, but we all have to be careful everyday. It shouldn't stop us from living.
I thought about replying to each person individually, but I think it is best if i were to sum it all at once in a single comment.
I will start by thanking everyone who has replied back. You're all right, if i'm not ready , i'm not ready and there is nothing to be dissapointed about. Admittedly at the time, my body was doing most of the thinking rather than my brain, that sudden rush of energy you get when something amazing is about to happen only to come crashing back to realioty once you start considering the risks of something bad happening.
Even though we were planning to meet at a private hotel, we had only talked for about a day or so and even then probably a total of half an hour at most, and they seemed to be looking for a one night kind of thing. As someone with no experience of this kind at all, I think that even though i felt like i chickened out, what;s important to me is that I'm safe and hey, I least i have alll of you here to support me.
So once again, thankyou for all the advice gals, i might not be able to take it to the next step for now but at least i'm not running the risk of getting stabbed :-))
