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Hi,
I'm very lucky in that I have a wonderfully supportive wife who is happy for me to dress whenever I get a chance. At the moment this is during the day 2-3 days a week as I work from home. It's hard to dress more as we have young kids and so I ensure I change back into drab before they get home. My wife says when they are grown up and leave home I can dress all the time at home if I want but realistically them both leaving home is 10 years away at least! Im sure others have been in similar positions so wondered if there was any advice or coping strategies?! There is also the chance they never leave home or that an elder parent has to move in with us further down the line so it's a lot to get my head around and not get ahead of myself. At the same time I love the thought of being able to wake up in a nice night dress then change into a nice dress and then that's me set for the rest of the day. Also mindful that I don't want to wish the early years I have with my kids away. When the pink fog descends it becomes all a bit consuming which is tough.
My situation sounds similar to yours in the not too distant past. My wife has been incredibly supportive since we were first married. While my two daughters were younger and still living at home we didn't tell them but we did take opportunities to go away for weekends a few times a year where I had the chance to dress, albeit still in relative privacy. Even though I might have liked to dress more, the responsibilities and pace of life with young kids was so great that I wouldn't have had a lot of opportunities to dress anyway. After they grew up, left the nest, and married I did tell them. My job situation changed and I too found myself working fully at home. Now I dress almost every day and they are perfectly fine with it when they come over. Now days I go out on weekends dressed with wife and most recently accompanied by my daughters. Times have certainly changed for the better for me. It's hard to see that far ahead when you're in the midst of life with young children but it comes faster than you think.
- @mkat3874 thank you yes your past does seem very similar to my present situation. I hope my future turns out like your present! It must be amazing to be able to dress as and when you like at home and also go out at weekends dressed. Like you say it comes faster than you think so I need to be patient and take the chances I get to dress. I realise I'm very lucky like yourself that my wife is supportive. It will be interesting to see when the time comes if she really is comfortable with me dressing a lot more at home and also given free reign how often I will dress. At the moment it feels like it will be a lot, I feel so much more comfortable in a dress. It certainly sounds like you have reached a very happy place in your life Michelle and I am sure very much deserved x
Well, you could tell your kids at some point. I guarantee they will eventually be exposed to gender diversity anyway. And the vast majority of kids are way more accepting than their parents. So there is that.
Another option is trips away from home. That's what I did. I was in a DADT with my GF. She knew but didn't want to see it or talk about it. So roughly once a month, I'd socialize with other girls in a nearby city. Obviously you'd need buy-in from your wife.
Hope this helps.
Liz xx
@alicewa I get that it feels that way, but, sadly, the truth is the opposite - tomorrow always comes.
Your kids will get older, your life will change, possibly your feelings on things will change. We've no way to know, so all you can do is plan a little and see what that inevitable tomorrow brings. As my mother often says, "life takes time."
You may very well decide to tell your children. Maybe now, maybe in 3 years, maybe 5. If you were golfing or fishing, you'd just tell them, you wouldn't sit staring out the window wishing you were out doing that. Yes, it's a bit more complicated of an explanation, but you're not doing anything wrong, so it's still just an explanation.
Don't immediately discount it as a possibility.
Your focus must be on the family at this time. Sure you have limited possibilities to enjoy dressing now, but the sacrifice is one you chose to make when you had the children.
You will be surprised just how fast that time goes. You will be more surprised at how much you will regret not spending more time with the family when they are at home. The future will get here, but for now focus on the present.
I’m thinking that a compromise might be in order, if I have read it right. Sort of unisex tops or dresses do exist, allowing a bra underneath, forms in private, trousers, underdressing, etc etc. It may stave off the undeniable. It works for me at least. Your children must come first though, as you have rightly acknowledged. 💚
There will come a time when your kids are old enough to tell them. I told my son just before he went off to university. I wanted to tell him earlier. I was sure that he would be OK with it. My wife held me back a few years. He's now used to seeing me as Cerys. He no longer lives at home, but he does come home quite frequently. His girlfriends knows of Cerys, but has only met the male me. She is happy to meet Cerys the next time they come over.
It is a long wait. I know the worries. You don't want to screw them up, ruin education or mental health. Only you and you wife will know if and when it is OK.
Cerys
