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So I took a big step forward today, and went to church fully presenting my femme side, but didn’t try to conceal my identity. I wore simple black leggings and a turtleneck top with a cabbie hat. I have several wigs, but just don’t feel like myself wearing them, so I like hats. Anyway, the big thing was that I did my makeup and nails. When I walked in, a couple people complimented me on my look, including the pastor. I just told her, I’m just trying to be my real self. FYI, I go to an open and affirming church. Sadly I couldn’t stick around for coffee and socializing afterwards, I had to go meet a fellow non-binary person for lunch. My friend also commented on how fashionable I looked. And we went in the restaurant and had BBQ without incident. I was feeling good about how well my dressed up day was going, so I stopped at a local lgbtq+ friendly bar for a Shirley Temple. I talked to a few people there, oddly, no one even said a word about how I was presenting.
Anyway, I think I set a new threshold for my level of comfort dressing femme at church. My next big goal is to wear a skirt. Thankfully I have a few months to build up my courage before skirt weather. 🙂
Nancy
P.S. Ok, so I suppose I could wear a skirt and leggings during the winter…
@birel Way to go, Nancy. Going out and being accepted is so awesome.
Be seeing you. Cassie
I am a Catholic and don't hesitate to go to church and Communion dressed. In fact it helps me feel even more genuine when I am dressed and in church. God knew who I was long before I did.
@robertaf Hi Roberta,its Michelle.I admire your courage for going to church enfemme.WOW.Was there any trouble or pushback from anybody?I am Catholic ,but havent been to church since covid,I should go to confession soon.That I can straighten out ,but any advice about attending Mass would be greatly appreciated.Thanks and Sincerely Michelle.
@heels234 I don't think its courage, frankly I just go. I don't dress in my hometown, but I take many trips away from home during the year. When I'm away I dress 24/7. My trips are usually for 1o or more days at a time. I just pack something appropriate to wear for Mass. I plan out my hotels and have a church and mass time mapped out as well, when it comes to Sundays. I really don't think about it, I just go like any other person would. I get some stares from the greeters out front. The female ushers usually just give me an approving smile, as I'm always dressed nicely. The men are just girl watching since I'm always alone.
Never any trouble with Communion either. No one is going to ask, wait are you really a woman dressed like that.
The priest and deacons are just as friendly as can be. As a man they shake your hand but as a woman they tend to hold it for a few moments and give you a thank you for coming.
Only advice I have is to remember to always make friends with the women around you, first. Warm smiles and a look into their eyes is usually enough. That is for when you are alone.
Nancy -
What a wonderful experience for you and one I hope you get to repeat soon.
XOXO
Suzanne
Good for you Nancy! That is so wonderful that it is such an accepting space.
I'm not terribly religious but still spiritual. I haven't been a regular churchgoer in a number of years. I just moved to a new town and there is a church that presents itself as being open to all including the full LGBTQIA+ spectrum. With the times we live in, I'm seriously thinking about attending this church to help improve my spirits.
Way to go Nancy. Although not overly religious I was reacquainted to church due to mothers failing mobility as she wanted to go. I had dropped things into the office and met the vicar when he visited mum so walking into a service was not an issue. I was welcomed and even met a lady who I went to infants school with and we are now friends. It has been nothing but positive.
Nice to hear Nancy. Congrats!
Good going Nancy! It must have been the day for going to church as I too went to a new church dressed as Karynn. A little apprehensive since I knew no one but was informed it was a very open and welcoming group. It was a totally fantastic experience and am looking forward to attending again.
