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I am still on the journey of discovery and questioning, but I am currently feeling comfortable with the title of genderfluid leaning feminine.
Yesterday I was in a Lorie mood, but had some people to see who don't know her yet. These people are very open, but I don't like to shock people with a sudden appearance. So I dressed rather feminine, with a women's long sleeve tshirt, women jeans (not skinny), a necklace, eyebrows slightly colored, bracelets, rings, and a scarf around my neck. And nail polish. Bright green with sparkles.
The event with the people went fine; I was able to enjoy being Lorie in my head and not really worrying about their reactions.
I went to Aldi's afterward, without a glance. Actually, I didn't look at every shopper to see if they were looking at me! At the checkout I commented on the girl's eyeshadow; a lovely peach with solid eyeliner. She was very happy that I said something.
Next door there was a brand new clothing store and I decided to see what they had. I went straight to the women's section. Again, not paying attention to others around me, just enjoying the shopping experience. Such a difference from 2 years ago when I was almost shaking with fear.
Not much clothing caught my interest. I saw another man in the women's section too, and didn't pay him much attention. THen I saw him with a woman, holding up a top and asking her if he should go ahead and try this on. When she said yes, he took off like a bat out of hell! I thought he was lucky to have a SO to help him.
I found three items I wanted to try on and started for the Fitting Rooms. The attendant asked me to hang them up on the hook, and she counted them, handed them back to me, and said "You can go back to the dressing rooms, the men's OR the women's, that's fine."
Wow! I took that to mean she recognized my gender identity was definitely not masculine, but without the makeup or hair, she was leaving the door wide open for me to be expressing whatever made me feel comfortable.
I chose the men's because I was not trying to pass or anything. As I came out and gave her the clothes (nothing really rose above the level of "retail therapy"), I told her, "I want to thank you for offering me the choice of either side, that was very kind of you.) She smiled and said, "Not a problem, any time."
She made my day. THere are more kind people out there than a-holes, and people like her just make me feel so validated and legitimate.
Lorie,
That was very thoughtful of the SA, and a real mood-booster for you. To date, I've only used dressing rooms at Dressbarn and JC Penney; necessarily the women's in both cases, and both without incident. (JCP has no attendants, and the men's dressing rooms are on another floor).
I recall being very nervous the first couple of times, too; but since accepting myself, I'm just one of the girls now, even in drab.
Hugs,
Bettylou
Thanx Lorie
It doesn't take much of a gesture to make us more welcome and it seems to be getting more common. Ya the first few times out shoppong in this big bad world can be nerve wracking but confidence breeds more confidence, then it just becomes natural and comforrable.
Olivia
When I was still with the wife, I noticed that some stores just had a cluster of dressing rooms for anyone to use, and others were divided between the 2 genders.
When I buy clothes, I try to spend as little time as possible doing so. I already know what I need and my size, so I usually don't even need the dressing room. That describes buying men's clothes. I don't buy my one piece swimsuits in local stores, only online.
Hi Lorie, It's great to hear that you had another wonderful and positive experience. Girlfriend hugs to you my sister, from Brittney.
I treat dressing room just like restrooms. Use the room you are correctly dressed for. Drab, use the "mens", and in CD mode "Ladies". Most employees will not bat an eye, just be confident in your actions and act like you belong there...because you do.
Kisses, SR
Samantha, yes, that's pretty much how my decision was made. It was the Men's room.
Thanks Brittney, it was an unexpected joy.
K, I know my size, too, but the clothing manufacturers can't seem to get on the same page and agree what they mean.
Olivia, so true! I thought back to my early shopping experiences and how I would get so nervous just going near the women's department!
Bettylou, yes, it was a mood booster. Not just that I was more confident, but it gave me a boost of hope for this world to treat each other with kindness and compassion.
Well I mostly buy Speedo brand athletic swimsuits. When I see a swimsuit I want from another brand, I try to get a size close to the Speedo women's size chart. Yes, it is very annoying that different manufacturers can't agree on what number or letter (S, M, L) to use for what size.
