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I am a 66 year old man who has lived his life as a Cross dresser from about age 10. I'am very shy and quite I think this is partly from the fear of been found out. My wife knew but did not approve. bless her she did try but coulden't cope with it. This lead to shame and guilt that I could not be the man she really wanted. Apart from this our marriage was good so long as I kept this side of me hidden. Didn't always work out. After 43 years of marriage my wife passed away due to Cancer This was 17 months ago I loved her dearly and miss her greatly. I hope she was very happy with her life and I didn't screw it up to much for her. My wife's passing opened the flood gates allowing me to spend a fortune on dresses, lingerie,breastforms, and a make over and O.M.G don't forget the high heels. The Cross dressing has help me a lot during the last few months. I dress most mornings and longer at times. I'am still in the closet. I think my elderly neighbour has seen me going to the bin dressed has a maid. I have not spoken to her since so don't know if she's cut me off yet. Dressing as a maid makes house work so much more enjoyable. My most resent purchase was a black halter neck tie side bikini. this has added so many joys I didn't expect The first was seeing a definite bikini tan line for the first time it really affirmed my femininity. Another surprise was putting just a short skirt on and looking in the mirror and been over whelmed with joy at seeing and feeling a beautiful topless woman looking back at me. I think this is due to the tan marks been a statement of my femininity that can not be removed any time soon. My next main event will be to book another make over with Tracy at Femme side studio but step outside if i dare. Sorry for rambling on but I feel much better for it. Wish all you beautiful ladies happiness and joy along your chosen path Love Jennifer Bell
Hi Jennifer
Welcome to CDH from another UK girl 🙂
I had a makeover with Tracey a week ago today ... and yes, I went outside. There are even some photos in my gallery to prove it. It's a very safe environment in which to take your first steps into the real world as Jennifer.
Since you joined the site a year ago you'll already know what a warm and supportive place this is. It's good to see you on the Forums ... don't be a stranger!
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Hi Ellie. Thanks for the reply. I had all ready seen your photos and that is what inspired me to think about another visit and especially a trip outside. so it is all your fault lol.
Jennifer x
@kchip19 a fabulous story with both highs and lows. I’m so happy that your life is now moving forward.
Like you, I find that housework is made easier by being a girl.
@kchip19 Hi Jennifer, a beautiful, sad yet happy post. Thank you for sharing. Always happy to chat if you feel a little shy. Look forward to seeing and hearing what’s next for you.
Isabel x
Hi Jennifer
Thanks for that post which expands and updates your profile bio. It is sad to hear of the passing of your wife, but heartwarming to hear how crossdressing and the wonderful ladies here on CDH have helped in the weeks and months since then.
I hope your planned visit to Tracy proves to be another triumph and that you manage to get outside. Step by step your new world will open up and, please, continue to share with us all on CDH.
Hugs, Rebecca x
@kchip19 Thanks Jennifer, for sharing part of your story. Sorry for the loss of your wife. Share with us anything you want, just getting some of these feelings out can be so good. I'm glad you have been able to find your comfort zone. If you ever want to make another step out there we are all here to offer advice if you want it.
Cassie
Hi Jennifer,
Welcome to CDH from another UK girl.
I was sorry to read about the passing of your dear wife, but heartened to read that dressing has helped you in some way.
You’ll find a wealth of different stories and backgrounds here, some of which will be similar to your own.
Many of us here are of a similar vintage to you, myself included, and with similar backgrounds.
We’re also very friendly and supportive, and you’ll find that it can help an awful lot to talk about this lifestyle in a very safe place that this is.
Your profile pic is lovely. I have my first ever makeover with Tracey in the next few weeks. I’m told that she can work wonders, and the pictures others have posted show that. I think she may need to be a sorceress to deal with me though!
Looking forward to getting to know you more
Hugs
Lucy
@lucyb112 Lucy, you are in safe hands. Tracey is a sorceress 🙂 Greatly looking forward to the write-up and the piccies!
@lucyb112 Ooh Lucy, exciting news! We'll look forward to hearing about your experience hun xx.
Hi Jennifer, and welcome to CDH.
First and foremost, my sincere condolences on your loss.
Wow, what an awesome intro post! Thank you for making it, because so much of what you wrote will resonate with a lot of our members. It does with me, for sure. And please, do not apologise for what you call "rambling"! Your experiences are valued here, so feel free to share them. You will always receive warmth and empathy in return.
It's nice to welcome another UK girl. I'm up in Tyne and Wear. Like you I'm in the closet. There are a lot of us in the same situation, so rest assured that you are not alone.
I hope you enjoy your makeover. In fact I know you will, because other members here have all said what a brilliant experience it is. Be warned, we will expect a full account!
I think you'll love it here. Join in and have fun.
@kchip19 Welcome to CDH Jennifer,
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your wife.
Hope you are finding solace in being to explore your feminine side.
Anna x
Hi Jennifer. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I've read a similar story here quite a few times and it seems that crossdressing is often a comfort to those going through the grieving process. I am so happy for you that you can indulge your feminine side now.
Lovely pics. Another advocate of Tracey in Leicester I assume? I've seen the results and they're all lovely. I'm in South East London and have been to BWBG a couple of times. As you say such a femme validating experience.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 Thanks so much Chrissie. I now feel more my self than I ever have. Yes it is Tracy in Leicester a wonderful lady with great ability she must have to do any thing with me.
Jennifer x
Hi Jennifer, sorry for your loss but so happy that you are finding comfort and release through being to freely explore your femme side.
Your makeover photos are lovely
Gina
Thanks Gina
Jennifer x
Hi Jennifer,
Welcome to CDH. My sincere condolences on the passing of your wife.
Alice
Hi Jennifer, As you've already found out, CDH has many kind, smart and wonderful people that you can feel comfortable sharing your story with. I was sorry to hear about your wife's passing. That is a story that some of the other members here also share. I do like the pics that you posted and I hope that you have a wonderful time at your next makeover. Safe Journey, Marg
Hi Jennifer and a slightly belated welcome from another UK girl 🙂 This wonderful supportive sisterhood really is a force for good in our lives and you will not regret having joined. I was sorry to read about the passing of your dear wife, but you could think of it that your feminine side is now taking care of you. I hope you can continue to flourish and blossom out into the world.
Hugs,
Fiona xxx
Jennifer, what an informative and touching introduction! Like everyone else, I am sorry to hear of your loss, your experience is not unique but that doesn't make it any less painful.
I am glad that, like many others here, being able to dress in nice clothes and, yes I'll second your "OMG shoes" comment, is helping you through such a difficult time.
Now that you've broken the ice on the forums, I hope to see you share more with us and for you to get the benefit of our understanding and support. Ask anything here and one or ten of us will do what we can to help.
Allie x
It sounds like you are making the best of a bad situation, and I am.sorry for your loss. The flood gates have opened and you are now free to wnjoy yourself wirhout fear. So what if the neighbor knows, or anybody for that matter. Dressing en femme affects nobody buy you, and you are enjoying yourself, so go ahead and have fun. The main reason I keep my dressing realatively hidden is becasue my wife prefers others not know. If she weren't around I would be much more open about it, but I respect her wishes and keep it quite, but no doubt the neighbors have seen me as I am often in my backyard en femme, often in a bikini (oh how I love those tan lines.)
So just be yourself and enjoy your dressing especially if it helps you cope.
Hi Jennifer, my story is the same as yours. I lost my wife of 46 years almost 2 years ago. Like you, I began dressing with a renewed freedom that I could actually dress whenever I wanted. It, I’m almost ashamed to say, is so liberating, but it will never replace the loss of a life long spouse. There are still lonely times that i’d love to have someone to share with. But one thing I wanted to point out is that you should never feel guilty for doing what you want after your wife passed away. Your wife and mine wanted us both to be happy in our new lives, and that is exactly what we are doing. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to reach out to me, we have been on very similar paths. I’ve sent you a friend request.
Hi Jennifer welcome to CDH 🙂
Alicen
