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Thinking back to your youth, who were you. I wonder if there is a common thread. Were you the nice person that was liked by the other girls but not in the way you wanted them to like you? Were you quiet and introverted? Were you a good student, always the model citizen? Did you always play by the rules? Or were you the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Did you have a new love interest on your arm before your friends even got to know your current beau? Did you have lots of dates with many potential lovers? Did you ever date two or more love interests simultaneously?
I just wonder if there is a common denominator amongst us girls?
@fabulous1 my dear
I was a bookworm, always trying to read a good book or novel, I never had a girlfriend in my school days, I was very busy trying to make friends and be accepted so I tried to be part of any group or activities in my highschool, I was in volleyball team , marching band, folkloric dance group, and the team of math and science group were we compete against all the schools of the country (in 1993 we won the championship against about 100 schools)but for a nerd guy always is complicated, I had many platonics loves( I was very romantic guy and I falling in love for the girls easily) but never the encourage to express what I felt to them, all the girls I had as a friends most of the times were close to me only for make the physics homeworks or before exams, basically math and Science, only in that times, I felt so lonely in that moments!!! Crossdressing start to emerge strong in that stage of my life.
That followed me until the college, only I had one girlfriends in my whole life, the first girlfriend ,which she broken my heart , and my actual wife.
So always I was alone, very few friends and many interested just for my knowledge and pass the exams.
Kisses
Odeth
@fabulous1 I was (and still am somewhat) relatively introverted. Looking back on it, I can't help but think that me being different probably had something to do with it. I knew who I really was at a very early age. I was an average student but I could have been much better. It took me until grad school to realize my potential. I always tended to play by the rules and still do. I didn't date a lot and never more than one at a time. I am loyal to people right up until they prove they are not worthy of loyalty.
@fabulous1 I would bet that if there is a common denominator, it would be that there is no common denominator, at least beyond being a person born male that has for some unknown reasons developed an affinity for presenting as a woman.
I would agree Kim, I think that wanting to present as a woman is something we're born with, and we do it for a whole myriad of reasons.
@fabulous1 I was the class comedian. Straight A,s until grade 10, then all went for a shit. Decided to be a hippie, go to Woodstock, and travel North America. In those days, jobs were everywhere so I worked a few days, and moved on. After some years, went back to school and started over. Sexual experiences ran the gammit back then, sisters to mother daughter to you name it. It was a time of experimentation, a time of questioning, a time of anti establishment. I’d do it all over if I could. During the teen years I was involved in sports heavily while still figuring out who I was. Back then, figuring out anything was a chore only done by trial and error.
@fabulous1 I was a good/nice boy who was friends with a lot of girls that unfortunately did not think of me as anything more. Guessing they never thought of me wearing lingerie but who knows?
@rikiinla Riki, I can certainly relate. When I was just out of high school, I hung around with a friend that was very popular with the ladies. I had hoped that my status would improve by association. Alas, it didn’t work out as I had planned even though I was his sidekick. They liked him because he didn’t care about any of them and somehow they were drawn to that. They would always come to me complaining about the way he treated them. I would talk to them and calm them down. They would tell me how nice I had been to them but go right back to being treated poorly by him. I just didn’t (and still don’t) get it. I was just the nice caring person that was there for them. My friend was the desired one.
I just wonder if there is a common denominator amongst us girls?
Stating the obvious - the common denominator is that we are crossdressers or transgender.
Nobody knows why we are the way we are. Most of us would say this isn't a choice any more than we chose the color of our skin. It is what it is.
Beyond that, we are a diverse group with characteristics that are unique to each individual. That makes each one of us special. And that, in my opinion, is the other common denominator.
/LK
@lizk What an airhead I am. I am always looking for the most complex solution when the actual answer is right under my nose. Duh! Thanks for keeping me straight. I'll blame it on a blonde moment.
@fabulous1 Shy and low self esteem but was attracted to the most beautiful girls made it difficult. But i dated on and off starting at 15 ish. always followed the rules . was always respectful never cheated. mostly short relationships. Eventually married one of my female friends that I knew since I was very young. I was always distracted, emotional and overly sensitive. father was an alcoholic and parents divorced at 6 mom remarried quickly and step dad was an alcoholic. compiled with confusion on sometimes wanting to dress as a girl well. im not surprised I was very distracted at school and a poor student. but by college I got my act together. Cheers RC
@fabulous1 Penelope, this is a good question, but from all I read, we come from all walks of life, with different ambitions and characters.
But just to maybe add to the responses. I was a fun loving, popular, sporty, studious kid who challenged authority. Despite this, I was never sure of whether others really liked me for who I really was (aspects of paranoia). I challenged authority by questioning their motives and logic, and I tried to change the rules, but I did follow them while they applied. I had a domineering but loving sister who was super sporty and very popular and for most things (except academically) I was in her shadow.
I was always a very tidy person, and I looked after and maintained all my things, and indeed still do.
I wonder if you find any character traits or value sets that are common between us girls.
Hugs Christine
Penelope, I did once date two girls at once when I was much younger. God, was that exhausting! xx.
@chrisfp99 Is it safe to assume that was not the norm or did you do that time and time again?
@fabulous1 Penelope, it was a one-off. I had a new girlfriend and an old one came back into my life. I feel bad that I let it happen. Lasted a few months and was a challenge physically and logistically xx.
If memory serves (which is less and less certain as we go) I was a good but quiet kid. A good student by most accounts (curse you Physics!), modestly athletic, but nothing special. Girls seemed to have no interest in me despite my feelings on the matter. I went to an all-boys high school, so for those years it didn't even really matter.
When I got to college some of the girls seemed to start noticing, however my inexperience showed and I didn't get a real girlfriend until Jr year.
I was overwhelmed by the academics. Personal life? Didn't exist. There was always a stinking rotten test.
The real world is infinitely better than that stinking rotten world of academics.
I say quite one maybe cause I wasn’t good at school work or learning wrestling was my sport tho always enjoyed I probably started getting more wild my jr sr year due to I went to tarde school for diesel technology that’s when I meet my first SO that was a big mistake should have listen to my parents 🤭
My male self was always more introverted than my female self. I always had girlfriends but I wasn't exactly a love 'em & leave 'em type.
Are we seeing a pattern develop? Probably too soon to tell. Let’s get some real participation and maybe we can all learn something about ourselves.
I'm an only child, definitely shy and introverted, and like @melodeescarlet I went to an all-boys high school, where I tended to hang out in the art room. Although there was an all-girl high school across the street, they were seemingly more interested in the sportier, rugger-playing types (one of which I wasn't) and the nerdier ones were probably skulking away like me!
Outside of school I listened to music, read a lot, learned to play instruments... and developed an interest in female clothing from an early age which as I grew into teenage became quite troubling. Social life was minimal and I never had a girlfriend till I went to art college at the age of 18.
I was shy, inadequate and insecure. I was no good with women or socialising at all to be honest. Bullied at school but better at college. Life was desperate in my 20s, could not get laid and felt repressed with my crossdressing and even weirded out by the prospect I might be gay. My mother was so insecure and so that unstable agrophobic ill tempered mother was a nightmare to deal with for our family. I developed a self destructive side I try to keep controlled.
It is strange because I adored looking at attractive women in their wonderful clothes and so badly wanted a relationship but also to wear those clothes. If only I had not exactly a relationship, but more a female friend to trust to crossdress with! I think discovering Sarah inside might have meant more to me by a small margin at 21! I think I am on the spectrum to some extent and found emotions too much! Sex at that age was unimaginable, at 22 I realised how much nearly making love did to blow my mind. I split soon after from a short term relationship and it really messed my head up for many months! In short I was in an absolute state. I got a co-worker to book me in for therapy as I suffered awful panick attacks and depression. I needed love but the right type! To love myself then and to find someone who would get me to talk about my innermost Sarah.
Turns out now I am happily married and not freaked out by my sexuality of wanting crossdressing in my life. But also today I have this anti attitude to life and becoming Sarah more because I was bullied a lot. I dislike myself and turn away from pain and discomfort. The discomfort is being self conscious by dressing as Sarah. I hate this familiar feeling of people not liking me, it is dull and depressing and so my inner flower does not really bloom. So my past haunts me.
Good one Penelope!
I was a bullied kid all through school because I was a glasses wearing, geeky doofus. Skinny. Zits. No girlfriends til after HS, when I joined the AF.
Once I began dating I had good success because I was a nice guy. Never ever led women on. I knew early on I never wanted children. Shared it adamantly. I knew early on I was a CD. Made it a point to tell girlfriends and wives about it every time. I think that’s why I haven’t had a lot of pushback about it from any of my relationships. I always explained exactly what crossdressing was for me and they were understanding about it. It was not the reason for breakups or divorces ever. And also, as life took off, dressing got pushed aside or put on the back burner. I just never made it a huge deal because it wasn’t.
I think part of it was being in the ‘80’s and liking women. They were extra hot back then. For a guy with a fetish for nylon I was in pantyhose heaven for the whole decade. Couldn’t date them all. Couldn’t stay married as there was too much temptation out there.
So to answer your topic: Thinking back to my youth I was a unique, one-of-a-kind, particular and distinctive individual.
Just like everyone else🥰
GP
I was very outgoing when I was young and still am today. I was an athlete playing many different competitive sports and again, I still do today. I was just an average student the kind that never really got noticed.
I was always fascinated by women's clothes as to how pretty they were and wondered what it would be like to wear them. I loved Halloween because it afforded me the opportunity to wear a female costume ranging from a witch to a Hawaiian hula dancer and of course the makeup that went with it.
My mother went back to work when I was young which gave me the chance to finally experience what it was like to wear women's clothes and have been a crossdresser ever since.
Wow! So many interesting stories! So much emotion. Me, I was (and still am) a geek. Quiet, introspective, reserved but sarcastic. The ironies in life can be amusing sometimes. Dated my first wife for a protracted period for fear of commitment. We got married, she found someone else, #1 down the drain. Dated some then met present wife. Excellent, A+, except for the torrent of anger I get when I try to talk or explain. Going to try couples counseling. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I hope I haven’t ripped off the bandages with this topic. I apologize if I did. I wish you all the best. Hugs
In high school, at that age, my male body produced those puberty hormones. Uh, way too many...
I bright and teachers tended to chat with me.
I was not athletic. I liked band. Tried track for one season. Ater that, no more sports. Yet I had no shortage of girls. On band trips or other events at night, I was all hands (probably from the male hormones).
And all though these years, I loved to wear women's lingerie.
Inclined to avoid confrontation all the time. Was a good student. Top 10% of the graduating class. With girlfriends most of the time I was a player. When I wasn't, it was probably for lack of opportunity.
Dani
My wife and I started dating when she was 15 and I had just turned 17. I have never played the field. Always a bit of a geek. Loved technology and electronics. Didn't have that many friends. I knew a lot of people, but only a few became friends. Good quality friends. Fairly quiet. Not the brightest kid at school but my logical mind did me well as an industrial breakdown electrician. Always picked last for teams on school. Rubbish at most sports. I was ok at table tennis and badminton, mainly because they were indoor sports 😉
Great with words. I could never fight my bullies, but I really could put them down verbally... this made them even more angry 🙂 Poetry and story telling were my main skills during school. Great at chemistry and physics. Physics has always been my favourite of the sciences. Rubbish at biology.
I was an ok kid. My friends liked me. I never really stood out. I didn't want to. This is where me and Cerys differ. She likes to be noticed 🙂
Cerys
