Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I would like to ask advice on 2 topics, Wigs and Voice. For the wigs, I have 3 of them and they are medium brown and one longer blonde. Now I am a fairly fit 61 year old and looking for a more age appropriate but nice looking, shorter (pixie?) wig in maybe grey, white or off brown/blonde? I am bald so I like the look of a wig. You can see from my profile pictures the wigs I have now. I am shopping for a new one and wanted to ask what would look good for me and still be somewhat sexy looking (nice legs, skirts and dresses).
Secondly, I have thought about going out sometime (maybe if the opportunity presents itself) and my question is what do you do with your voice when dressed? Do you try to speak softer or higher pitched? Also, what about the bathrooms? If I went out I have a small bladder and need to use the bathroom often. Always worried about safety. More than likely I would check out somewhere during the day in guy mode before going out dressed. Either a LTBGQ friendly bar or a Crossdresser show place (where there are performers dressed, what is that called?). Anyhow, any experience starting out? Any advice with either the new wig or going out, voice and bathroom?
Thank you, Traci
Traci
My experience so far as wigs go is. The Bob/ shorter wigs i find cover the ears and have some body to them. Not straight or stringy. You might consider a grayish with brown roots. It would be great if you could go to a wig shop and brose around. Tell them you're shopping for a wig for your wife. Shorter wigs like short hair are easier to care for too.
As far as going out dressed. I don't change my voice. I speak in softer tones. Not whispering, they can't hear you! Of sound like a valley girl. Fake! There are voice tutorials on CDH and you tube.
When dressed i use the ladies room. I go in the cubicle, turn around. Feet must face the door! Hike the skirt, squat, aim down and back if doing number 1. If you lift the seat up be sure to put it down before you leave! If wearing a gown be sure not to step on it or let it fall in the toilet when gathering it up. I've had no issues with anyone in the ladies room. Infact the other day at a large store at a gas stop. As I walked past the sinks a woman smiled at me. Also be sure to wash hands before leaving. Women notice this.
That's my two cents worth. I hope it helps you in some way.
Fran 🥰
@traci429 Paula Young has some nice, mid priced wigs that may be along the lines of what you are looking for. I have bought a few wigs from them over the years and the look, fit and quality has always been good for me.
As for voice, I started out trying to speak in a higher pitched voice. it didn't take me long to realize that it didn't sound good. Now I just speak more softly and while it isn't perfect, it feels better to me and seems to work in interactions with others.
@traci429 On wigs. I would suggest you find a wig shop, call them and explain you are CD and want something natural and appropriate for you. They all have private rooms to accommodate cancer patients and others who are nervous about trying on wigs for whatever reason. The stylist can make suggestions based on your skin tone and facial shape. You'll be able to try them on without commitment rather than the buy/try/return I'm sure we've all done. They can show you the different types (synthetic/human hair/blend) and explain the benefits of each. You might end up spending a bit more, but I'm sure you will be happier than taking suggestions here (sorry ladies) and getting something online that you don't like and don't wear.
As for voice when out. I lower the volume, soften it a bit and slightly raise the pitch. Too much and it's falsetto. It's not perfect and I'm sure people realize right away I'm not female, but so what.
Bathrooms. When in Rome. If I'm dressed it's the ladies room for me. I'd prefer to be confronted by a woman than a homophobe in the men's room. I've been using the ladies room for years and never had an issue. I've had interactions with women and women with children and never had a problem.
The white and gray ones will make you look older. I would stick to brown or darker blond shades, they will make you look a little younger.
As for bathrooms, I've used the ladies room or the gender neutral family bathrooms for years and have never had a problem.
First of all, if it's a multi-person ladies room, you have to confidently walk in like you belong there, like you've been in one before. Then just go in, don't interact with anyone, make sure your feet are pointed the right way in the stall, do a quick wash-up and leave without interacting with anyone. And be fairly quick about it, the longer you linger, the more you risk being asked a question by a GG woman for which you are expected to answer. There's no telling exactly how a woman or a group of women will react to find a trans woman in with them.
I also feel you girls have a lot going, have fun, and thanks for your income.
I had a lot of wigs most cheap, some expensive, but have settled on two in particular, both of which can be seen in my latest public photographs.
I have tried long wigs and short wigs but shoulder-length seems to suit me the best and is the length I feel most comfortable in, which is the most important thing. They are both brown.
Voice-wise, I try to raise my voice by—and I'm so sorry but I can't remember who it was on CHD that told me this—using my normal voice as do and going up saying the same thing through re, mi, fa, ending up at sol. This ensures that the voice is slightly feminised but not artificially high. Do that while at the same time softening the voice and making it a little more 'breathy'. I say I try to do this, but usually end up forgetting and talking in my normal voice. It doesn't much matter as, close up, people will know I'm a man anyway, but it was nice to try.
As far as using the toilets is concerned, as Cheryl says above, when in Rome. I always use the ladies' when dressed. Perhaps if I'm not feeling confident (and it happens) I might use the disabled, but it isn't often. If I use the ladies', I'll almost always stop and check my makeup in the mirror or comb my hair rather than sneak out like I shouldn't be there. As Cheryl also says, I would never use the men's' toilets as there be dragons and danger.
Just going back to the confidence thing: my wife and I often go to the theatre and at the interval, there is always a queue for the ladies'—I join the queue, either with my wife or on my own, I'm not bothered and no one has yet said anything.
Becca
