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‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
And Ellie was lying flat out on her bed.
She’d had too many cocktails and now was half dead.
Then a noise from downstairs woke her up from her sleep.
She pulled on her dressing gown, started to creep
To the edge of the landing, the foot of the stair,
Then to the front room: and she saw Santa there.
He was putting some presents beneath Ellie’s tree
But bending quite awkwardly, down on one knee,
Revealing his bottom (he’s not all that svelte)
And some pink satin knickers showed over his belt.
Santa turned; he was shocked, and he started to swear.
Said ‘It’s not what it seems!’ and ‘My wife’s unaware!’
But Ellie just smiled and said ‘No need for swearing.
We’re on the same team, Santa … look what I’m wearing!’
And she drew back her robe, gave a twirl in her nightie,
And Santa laughed loud and said ‘Good God Almighty!
I made a small slip-up; I’m glad it was here.
Ho ho! … you’re a fellow crossdresser, my dear!’
So they sat down together, and had a quick chat
About dresses, and makeup; about this and that.
Then Santa stood up and said ‘Really must go!’
Gave Ellie a hug and walked out in the snow.
She followed him out, and the reindeer were there,
And she noticed each one had a bow in its hair.
With a waft of Chanel he climbed up on his sleigh,
Blew Ellie a kiss and was off on his way.
Ellie went back to bed, and she slept until morning.
It was Christmas! Still bleary, and stretching and yawning
She brushed out her hair, used a dab of face cream,
And she thought to herself: ‘It was all just a dream’.
But ... she went to the living room. What did she see?
An assortment of lingerie hung from the tree.
There were stockings, a corset, a cute lacy bra
And some silky French knickers draped over the star.
So … you know Santa’s secret! Let’s not make a fuss.
It’s perfectly normal … he’s just one of us.
If you’re a good girl, and you don’t ever tell,
You might get some knickers from Santa as well.
Wishing everyone on CDH the merriest possible Christmas.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Hi Ellie, I love the poem. There is an imaginative, naughty, creative streak running right through you like a stick of Blackpool rock. And I have been a really, really, really good girl this year - honestly I have ( *ignore the crossed fingers behind my back* ). Could you put in a good word for me with Santa. The tree is all ready.
Hugs
Rebecca xxx
@fembecky He's just setting off, but I can probably get through to one of the elves on the satellite phone if I'm quick.
Remember though that he does have a list, and he does check it twice, so no amount of crossed fingers are going to save you.
@ellyd22 OK, but is Santa open to bribery? What if I promised to leave a gorgeous set of lingerie for him under my tree? Do you think he would gift me the beautiful LBD I saw in a shop in Oxford this morning?
@fembecky Ooh ... bartering. But then he'd KNOW that I'd let the cat out of the bag about his crossdressing, which would mean that I'D been naughty, which would mean no lingerie for me.
Perhaps you could do in a more subtle way, like putting a pair of knickers next to the mince pie and glass of sherry, as though they were somehow left there by accident?
Then again, what's the exchange rate? How many pairs of knickers are equivalent to one LBD? You don't want to make it too obvious by having a whole stack of lingerie waiting for him.
@ellyd22 Hmmm … if I buy the knickers for Santa I will probably end up wanting to keep them for myself, so maybe I had better just go and buy the dress anyway 🙂.
Seriously though, that was a brilliant poem. It had me grinning from ear to ear! Hope you are having a great Christmas break and find lots of Ellie gifts under the tree in the morning.
Hugs, Rebecca xxx
@fembecky Heading to Kent in the morning to be with my Mum and sister - and hitting the Boxing Day sales with my sister the day after that to hunt for dresses and perfume 🙂
I am SO looking forward to this!
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 What an excellent poem, Ellie. Merry Christmas and have a great 2024. Best, Marlene.
@marleneroberts Thanks ... I actually love writing things like this 🙂
Merry Christmas to you too!
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Love it,Thank you Ellie,Merry Christmas to you and Happy New Year.Christmas hugs, Michelle.
@heels234 Merry Christmas to you too! And I hope that you have a fabulous New Year 🙂
Seasonal hugs with added merriment.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 "I KNEW IT"....about Santa...!!! Such a wonderful work you've done here, Ellie...thank you so much for sharing this "special" Holiday cheer with us....Merry Christmas to you, and ALL...!!! 
@tinytinkerbell It was a bit of an open secret about Santa TBH. The reindeer have known for a while, and people have been finding lipstick residue on the sherry glasses for some time now.
@ellyd22 This is just brilliant.
I don’t think there will be any satin lingerie being left for me. I suspect that Santa may be aware that the top of my underwear box no longer stays fitted properly after the latest pre-Christmas purchase last week!!
Merry Christmas lovely
Hugs
Lucy x
@lucyb112 We need to look at investigating either collapsible lingerie, or perhaps inflatable lingerie, so that storage space becomes less of an issue moving forwards.
Happy Christmas sweetheart!
Speak soon
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Just for the record, I have some collapsible knickers you are welcome to that are always falling down...
... I'll get my coat! 😀
@caroline2k Collapsible knickers.
Now, there are two words I don't normally see together. 🤔
@harriette They're tipped to be one of the hot fashion trends in 2024, possibly even outselling soluble raincoats.
@ellyd22 love it Ellie 💕
I hope Santa spoilt you.
Santa got me some new dresses and my wife got me new pale blue knickers and bra.
Cassie
💋
@cassiej That already sounds like a great Christmas 🙂
I don't know what I got for Christmas yet. I'm about to set off on a three hour drive so I can find out.
Hugs
Ellie x
@ellyd22 You are very creative. What a fun read. You have been a good girl and I hope you enjoy all Santa left you. I hope you have a Happy New Year!
@nailgirl I've been VERY good ... and I have love lovely knickers as a result. The investment paid off 🙂
Happy Christmas!
Ellie x
@ellyd22 I always knew there was a deeper secret about Christmas stockings….we need to place them by the chimney in case Santa ladders his!
@christineth Hold on ... have I been hanging the wrong type of stockings next to the fireplace all this time?
Oh Ellie, I absolutely love it!!!! You really do know how to put the Cheer in the Holiday.
Hugs, Marg
@margprodue Thanks Marg. I normally write things that are a bit more serious but I thought this would be fun 🙂
Thinking about it though, a Santa costume would give a LOT of potential for underdressing ...
Hugs
Ellie x
Hi Ellie,
If I'm a good girl do you think Santa will leave me some sexy lingerie under my tree X
Hugs Rozalyn X 👗💅👙
@rozalyne Unless you've been good all year, it's too late to start now. He'll already have packed the sleigh.
Brilliant!
I may or may not have just spat out some Chilean chardonnay...
@jacquelinelarkspur God, what a waste! Mop it up with some kitchen towel and squeeze it back into the glass while there's still time!
Ellie Davis, what sort of a girl do you take me for? I spat it out into the glass in the first place!
@jacquelinelarkspur I should have expected nothing less.
That's top-notch regurgitation right there. Skill level 11/10.
@jacquelinelarkspur Well, it's clearly a very good aim. Pure professionalism based on years of practice.
Rather too many years. Though I try not to make a habit of spitting out good wine.
Bad wine, on the other hand...
@jacquelinelarkspur The only "bad" wine I ever tasted was at a party when I was in my late teens. Someone brought a bottle of homemade wine. It was still "green", before its time.
Ellie I absolutely love it💕, I always had my suspicions about that jolly old elf. I mean how could anyone be that jolly unless they were wearing satin knickers (I love that word) thank you so much for this!
AnnaBeth
@shadowqueen I know, right? It's a basic equation; E = l x t (where 'E' is enjoyment, 'l' is lingerie and 't' is time).
Ellie x
@shadowqueen It's part of the 'New Math'.
'New' in the sense that I just made it up.
Having said that, it sort of works. I just need to figure out the units for 'lingerie' and 'enjoyment'.
Well that’s a sly and entertaining take on a Christmas poem Ellie! I enjoyed it very much! I’ll be smelling my Irish Coffee the rest of the day, LOL!
I’m afraid I now know why I’ve never received lingerie for Christmas. Santa is onto me. What is it that HGB said about good girls/bad girls? I guess I’m one of the ones that goes everywhere.
/EA
@emilyalt Well, since I'm not one of the good girls who go to heaven, I guess I'll be seeing you around.
@emilyalt Sadly, virtually the whole of East Anglia (Norfolk, Suffolk, Essex, Cambridgeshire) is pretty much a wasteland in that regard 🙁
Punters then. I know that’s come up before.
So hear we are on the Xmas Eve.....We all have something up our sleeve....... Have you been good, or have you been bad, ... Doesn't really matter, cuz what we do makes us glad.
As we start a new year, there's so much to cheer,....... No matter where we are...... If We stand together We will go far.... Merry Christmas Y'all!!❤️❤️
Merry Christmas Ellie!
Alice
Made my Christmas Eve! I love it.
@astrosteve Glad to hear it!
I hope that you have a fantastic Christmas Day ... it's already been Christmas for 40 minutes here in the UK 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
Beautifully felt!
Hi Ellie,
you have outdone yourself and that’s now my favorite Christmas Santa story! Lol!
Those kinds of presents would be a dream!
Merry Christmas,
Karensa
@karensa1136 *Laughs* A children's classic. Next Christmas it'll be the Marks and Spencers' Christmas advert 🙂
Happy Christmas!
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Happy Christmas! I wanted to share another fun clip that’s been out for a while. Instead of “walking in a winter wonderland”, this one is “walking around in women’s underwear” 😉
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VU8zUSU6fds&pp=ygUfd2Fsa2luZyBhcm91bmQgaW4gd29tZW4ncyB1bmRlcg%3D%3D
Enjoy!
Karensa
wonderfully done first thing i've read this Christmas morn gave me a giggle merry Christmas
Ellie -
What a lovely take on the Night Before Christmas. Now the red suit with the fur trim makes sense, and are those red cheeks because of blush make up - hmm one has to wonder now.
Merry Christmas to one and all
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue It's all falling into place now, isn't it? So many pink flags ...
Happy Christmas!
Hugs
Ellie x
Loved you're poem Ellie! I got really exciting just reading it from top to bottom!
XOXOX Scarlett
@scarlett398 *Narrator: and with that simple request, a new CDH tradition was born*
Happy New Year!
Ellie x
