A Little About Myself

Hello Ladies,

This is just a little extended version of my intro about myself and my feelings. I hope I don't bore anyone and please excuse my grammar or even some of my language, I am a 51 y/o old schooler and I sometimes forget that's it 2015.

My female name is Amber and as I said, I am 51 years young. I served 20 glorious years in the U.S. Navy and I am a very proud veteran.
I guess my story begins back when I was a child of about 4 or five when I used to lay on my moms lap after dinner and we were watching t.v. together. Sometimes she would be wearing a dress or skirt and I could feel the nylons or pantyhose on her legs and thought how soft and smooth they felt. I would sneak into her room when she was not home and find her hose in the drawer and try them on, (of course they were too big for me at the time) and I would just be amazed at how wonderful they felt against my bare skin. I found some of her nylon panties and try them on as well and fell in love with the smooth feeling of them as well. Well, jump ahead a few years, say, late pre-teens. That's when I started swiping her panties and pantyhose and would wear them under my boy clothes any chance I could. For some reason I knew it was wrong but at the same time, it felt so write. Well, needless to say, I got caught one day wearing her pantyhose. I didn't get yelled at, I was just told to take them off and to never do it again.

Well, I did as I was told and did not do it again until I was around 31 y/o. I had joined the Navy and I was stationed state side after spending time overseas. I was living alone off base and that wonderful old feeling started over me again. I started serving the internet and found many sites that sold panties, pantyhose, stockings, etc... I could not resist any longer. I went crazy buying everything from panties and pantyhose to nighties and women heels. I went on an internet shopping overload. I had so many under garments that they completely filled my dresser. I had to find someplace else for my boy clothes. I would wear my silky smooth undies under my uniform almost everyday at work and hope I didn't get hurt because after all, I did work on the flight line. Well, after a couple of years of that, I got orders to go overseas again. I don't think nothing of it, I packing my girlie things up myself and labeled the box, "CLOTHES" and let the movers pack and wrap everything else so no one was the wiser.

I had a school between duty stations. While attending that school, I met a wonderful women on-line. We chatted and talked on the phone everyday until oneway I offered to pay for half of her plane ticket if she wanted to meet me after I got settled into my new duty station. She agreed and we made our plans, (yes, we did eventually get married). While I was again living off base, I would dress in my dainties everyday after I got home from work. It felt so right and it calmed me down after a very stressful day. Well the was quickly approaching that my soon to be wife would be arriving. All of a sudden I started to feel guilty and I ended up throwing everything away. At least $5,000.00 worth of undies, shoes, and nighties straight to the trash.

For the next 12 years I started to become extremely depressed. I tried to do everything I could. Worked out, started new hobbies, you name it, I tried it. I was stationed aboard an Aircraft Carrier and deployed when the depression really started to get bad. I started to talk to a shrink but my loving of crossdressing never came up, (mainly due to if it did, I would have been discharged and would have lost most of my benefits and, I was due to retire in about 18 months). Well, not even the shipboard shrink could help me out.

My wanting to crossdress never went away. I started dreaming about it. Well, about a year ago, I finally broke down and told my wife. I told her I would like to try wearing women clothes. I told her that I thought that women's clothes felt better, looked better, and had so many different styles to choose from compared to mens clothes. I said that mens clothes are very uncomfortable at all. We talked about it for quite awhile and she said that if it helped me, she would support me in any way she could and that she loved me ever so much for opening up to her about this.

It's been a little over a year now since I opened up to my wife and my depression is improving, (I'm not as mad at the world as I used to be), I completely dress in women's clothes almost on a daily basis though I don't go out in public yet but I do wear my heels and my nails are always have a wonderful coat of polish when I go out. And my wife and I go shopping together quite often and pick out things for each other. I think I am going to try and step out for the first time this Halloween. I know, it seems like a cliché but its the way I think I want to try it. I am going to see if my wife want to try a his and hers crossdressing theme.

Anyway, that is my story, I know it's kind of long and I hope I didn't bore you. I just love crossdressing and love everything that goes with it. I know I will never pass because my features are just too male but it's not going to stop me from trying. Thanks for listening and if I can be of any support to anyone, don't be afraid to ask.

Hugs,
Amber