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I'll start off by making the great, dark, horrible admission... I'm straight. If anyone else has a different sexual orientation, then that's fine - your business, not mine and I can't see that either decision is right or wrong - it just is!!! On the other hand, I LOVE wearing women's clothing and getting a proper makeover is just fantastic - even though I know that my own attempts at putting my makeup on are horrendously bad. The point is, however... when I'm Holly, I want to be perfectly made up; for all the (few) women that have ever been in my life, I have always wanted them to wear no makeup and have felt that they look so, so much better "au naturelle". A dichotomy; do any of you ladies out there have a similar hstory - and does anyone have a clue just why I should hold such a contradictory viewpoint? Love you all: Holly XXX
Hiya Holly. I think that for a lot of those in our heels, there is a compulsion to overcompensate for all of our masculinity. Cis women don't have this - they wouldn't feel like they have to apply levels of femininity on a regular basis because they already are.
I would likely argue that women who are doing the full makeup monty on a daily basis mostly just like it. It makes them feel very feminine and pretty and alluring or whatever - a feeling most of us can almost certainly relate to. 🙂
For you as a crossdresser you want to make up and be the best you can and clearly it is not for anything other than for your personal satisfaction.
Perhaps it is something from your past where you saw beautifully made up women and just saw that as what you wanted to be or, on the other hand felt that it was alluring to men and therefore if your partners made themselves up you perhaps saw it in a different way. Women also like to feel good when dressed.
You want to look like a woman, or as near as you can manage it, but you aren't one. A woman doesn't have to try to look like a woman because everything about her shows that she already IS one, she has hips, a higher voice, no Adam's Apple, her hands and feet are smaller etc. etc.; yours aren't. The only way you can approach looking like a woman, even if you took hormones, is through make up, dress, hair, prosthetics and even then, very few of us can 'pass', but we try to do our best and even if we still look like men in women's clothing, acceptance is greater if it can be seen that we have made the effort.
There are women out there who want to look like a man and their difficulties are as great as us getting our femininity. We can put hips on, cross dressing women can't take them off, ditto with breasts. They can't make their feet bigger or grow male muscle.
You find women without makeup attractive but the fact is they still look like women. If a woman looked like a man without makeup you'd be more than happy for them to use some. It's only because you can see they are women that you are attracted to them, if they didn't I expect you wouldn't be.
I'm straight too. Married for 40 years with two grown-up children. And I also like to look as much like a woman as I can manage. I'll never pass - that is to say, no one is ever going to look at me and believe wholeheartedly that I'm a woman - but that's not the point of what we do as crossdressers, in my opinion. Precisely why we do it is a mystery which may never be solved, but doing it makes me feel relaxed, confident, rejuvenated and attractive. It offers an escape from the cares of the real me, if only for a while.
Makeup is a huge part of the process. Some years ago I went on a crossdressers "retreat" in Derbyshire, England. I visited a shop, and the female sales assistant was very interested in what I was doing. She complemented me on my appearance, then asked why I went to such lengths to look feminine, right down to the makeup. My reply was simply to say that, as a man, I need all the help I can get to look like a woman.
I've been ruminating over these replies over the last few days; they all lead me to the conclusion that there is immense wisdom to be found in experience. I just wish I could have realised the truth a little earlier. Obviously, the point is that I desire to at least appear more feminine - something that a genetic girl doesn't need to worry about. The obvious point that I am never really going to succeed is not important; the need to strive towards the goal is what matters. I just want to say "Thank You" to the ladies who have taken the trouble to answer this (probably daft) question; you make me feel so much better. Love you all!!! Holly XXX