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Through my sojourn in life I have found that there are aspects of my male half that I prefer to keep and aspects of my female half that I will not let go, so I would imagine I would fit into the androgynous area of the gender spectrum. We all have a duel nature, both male and female; yin and yang. It is up to us to find our own balance with where we find ourselves between the two halves. For most, this balance lies toward one or the other of the halves, but there are those of us who want to meld of both of our halves and enjoy life as a complete person. I have seriously thought about making a full transition more than a few times, but as I said there are aspects of my male half that I still prefer to keep. It's not just a sexual thing, there are things I just enjoy doing as a male even though I know I could still do them just as easily if I were female. I know the fear of letting anyone know that I enjoyed dressing and being feminine had a lot more to do with the outcome of those times than I'd like to admit.
As it stands, there has only been one person in my life that I have told that I dress. The person I told was my wife and although it didn't go bad, we eventually divorced due to other problems such as my disability and her infidelity. The area I live in and the friends I have made as my male half are not the most accepting of different lifestyles, so I am content to enjoy time with my friends each day and enjoy relaxing at home dressed in a skirt and blouse or one of my frilliest nighties.
There has been only one person in my family that I ever thought I might be able to tell and that is my youngest sister. Of all my family she would be the most likely to at least not throw a fit, but I just can't find the courage or the words so it still goes undone.
When all is said and done, though I've come a long way on my journey I still have far to go. I hope this has given a glimpse of who I am.
Ally,
I find it comforting that there are so many of us "2 spirit" people. I understand the 2 parts of Ally, because I'm the exact same way...there is a delicate in balance between my male & dominating female parts.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us!
Cookie 🙂
Ally - thanks for sharing. Your experience sounds very familiar to mine. Some things I enjoy doing as a man that I wouldn't want to give up, but there are many things I wish I could do as female but don't have the courage to do so.
2016_personal stories: Ally original post:
Through my sojourn in life I have found that there are aspects of my male half that I prefer to keep and aspects of my female half that I will not let go, so I would imagine I would fit into the androgynous area of the gender spectrum. We all have a duel nature, both male and female; yin and yang. It is up to us to find our own balance with where we find ourselves between the two halves. For most, this balance lies toward one or the other of the halves, but there are those of us who want to meld of both of our halves and enjoy life as a complete person. I have seriously thought about making a full transition more than a few times, but as I said there are aspects of my male half that I still prefer to keep. It’s not just a sexual thing, there are things I just enjoy doing as a male even though I know I could still do them just as easily if I were female. I know the fear of letting anyone know that I enjoyed dressing and being feminine had a lot more to do with the outcome of those times than I’d like to admit.
As it stands, there has only been one person in my life that I have told that I dress. The person I told was my wife and although it didn’t go bad, we eventually divorced due to other problems such as my disability and her infidelity. The area I live in and the friends I have made as my male half are not the most accepting of different lifestyles, so I am content to enjoy time with my friends each day and enjoy relaxing at home dressed in a skirt and blouse or one of my frilliest nighties.
There has been only one person in my family that I ever thought I might be able to tell and that is my youngest sister. Of all my family she would be the most likely to at least not throw a fit, but I just can’t find the courage or the words so it still goes undone.
When all is said and done, though I’ve come a long way on my journey I still have far to go. I hope this has given a glimpse of who I am.
