Archived Replies To: Have you come out to your wife? Do you plan to?

She knows I like to wear panties and lingerie on occasion but she really isnt in to it. As for fully dressing its more of a "dont ask dont tell" situation. But she will give me hints as to when she will be out for the day so I can dress up as she knows I really to love to dress and try to be femme even for a day. I guess Im lucky in the sense that I do have a Trans friend that I can go visit and dress and learn as Im pretty new to fully dressing with the goal of being able to semi pass. I do still hide my limited clothes collection other than a couple pairs of panties she knows I have. Its not the ideal situation but Im gad to have her and that shes as accepting as she is even on a limited basis as many wives and partners aren't at all.

Hey Jenny,

Sounds like you're luckier than most girls I know!
I know sometimes you just want to get out there and strut your stuff, it's great that you've got a trans friend. Nothing like some support to gently push you out the door when you're feeling hesitant 🙂

Hugs,

Well I hadn't planned on it but one night I came home from work and the family is in the kitchen getting ready to eat. My wife nonchalantly mentions that my son needed some running shorts and she knew I had a pair that was too small on me that I never wear so she went digging for them...then she looks at me with this quizzical look...then I remember I had a pair a black platform heels hidden in there!!! "Oh!" I exclaim and she's like yeah oh...
After the kids went to bed we had the talk. It was very hard for her to comprehend but at the same time she was more hurt that I hadn't felt comfortable enough to tell her earlier. I was terrified of the possible fallout from this but she basically said ok she knows and let's leave it at that. She doesn't want to be a part of it which is fine. I'm not really sure what I wanted to happen But the important thing is she accepted it as another eccentric part of me and life has moved on.
I'm so thankful for her open mind and heart. I'm blessed to have such a wonderful wife.
It was an incredible relief to get that off my chest after so many years!
????????????
Holly

DADT is hard to deal with.

I plan to but I don't know how to break it to her without hurting her. Lately I have been asking her questions about why she likes this or that while browsing online.

I opened up to my wife early June. I had by this time already made several purchases and been out of the house en femme twice, once a quick walk to the drugstore for lipstick, and the second out to the mall where I got a makeover, threaded eyebrows, and some cute accessories. I struggled for a week or so trying to find the right time, the right words. I told her during a car ride back from pricing charcoal smokers... I said I was dealing with some gender identity issues, and I thought she was taking it well, but when she wouldn't even open up a dialogue I knew something was up. She clammed up on me and over the next couple of months the tension in the house ratcheted up, and with me breaking my right foot (so I couldn't drive) in early July added to work stress, I ended up with a weeks stay in the psych ward. My wife thinks my trans issues are due to a brain tumor or a psychotic break... but it could be worse. I'm not sure how, but I know it could be.

That's a good idea Heather. This can be a sensitive time for all involved, and having a professional to help you work through it will be very helpful.

Best wishes!

Aubrey hon, I'm sorry for your rough road, you have tremendous courage and resilience. We're here on Crossdresser Heaven to help and support you and your wife.

I wish you all the best in the coming weeks. They say it's always darkest before the dawn, I pray your dawn comes soon!

Best to you!

I'm really new here, but have had potentially the most amazingly comfortable ride ever for someone who arrived late in the game, clueless, and married 3+ decades before abt of this merriment.

A silly long story of recent history, but the wife knows. After a couple of years to digest it all? She helps.

I went from zero (even in my own knowledge) to "Drag Makeover" on YT to being (good naturedly) "outed" on FB in under a year,

Been a hella' ride, and I regret nothing as far as being "out" anymore. 300K+ have seen the vid with my boy side profiled. There would be no point of going any other direction.

I *could* have untagged my boy name from the lady pics. Not knowing who had seen them already tagged and considering that it may look cowardly to those that HAD seen them?

I just sucked up a deep breath and thought "Here we go!"

Khloe, you're awesome!  Just accepting it and running with it come hell or high water is so amazing!  I'm still figuring out my personality as Holly considering it's been very recent that I even came to grips enough with this to come up with a fem name! All I know is the girls on this forum have been wonderful and a huge relief to talk to and understand that we truly are not alone.

Lots of hugs!

????????????

Holly

i have dressed with my girl friend lol wish she would dress me

I haven't.  I want to so much, but I'm simply afraid to, I have a 15 year old son, and I love my family and my home so much.  I have tried and more and more I get closer, but can't make that last step into the unknown.

Gillian it's a tough tightrope to walk - between being yourself and possibly losing what you have most dear.

I lost a lot when I transitioned, but I gained a lot as well. Even if you're not transitioning, the repercussions of coming out can be dire.