Archived Replies To: Is it possible for a man who has the urge to dress as a woman to be straight.

Hi Zoe,

I think it is very common for a lot of tg/cd ers to be heterosexual, I myself am married with children. To be honest I class myself as lesbian and am happy with that.

I must admit though, when I started hrt 15 months ago it raised concerns whether my sexual orientation would change...... it didn't and I became more comfortable with myself beyond belief and I'm extremely happy and so is my wife with our close and loving relationship.

Go well

Hugs

Scarlett x

To put it simply, yes, of course.

More elaborately, and not intending to sound too bitchy, but probably coming across that way and apologizing for it ahead of time:

I think those of us who crossdress come from the entire spectrum of sexuality and it is not particularly necessary to worry about who is gay, who is straight, who is bi, etc. I prefer to focus on the person, not the label.

Equally, there all kind of reasons for a man to dress in clothing that is usually associated with women. It can be a simple as donning a Halloween costume for a party or as complicated as helping resolve gender identity issues.

For me, a basically straight male, crossdressing is just part of who I am. A significant portion of my personality is feminine and I choose to acknowledge that. As part of my exploration of that portion of my personality, I choose to wear "women's" clothing and undergarments and to sometimes appear in public dressed in clothing that helps others see me as a woman as well as a man. Doing so helps me acknowledge and understand that special, important part of who I am.

It is not due to any physical/sexual attraction to men.

It is due to acknowledging and celebrating myself as a complete, total person. A person who is neither solely male nor solely female, but instead a wonderful amalgamation of both.

So again, yes. Straight men can and do crossdress. So do gay, bi, and other men.

It is certainly possible for a crossdresser to be straight. Gender and sexuality are different things... it is often assumed that if a man wants to wear clothing associated with women, he must be gay - looking to pick up a man. All of the crossdressers I have met in my local support group are hetero, as am I.

I think it's a completely valid question to bring up because I had the same thoughts many times. I couldn't understand why I would want to do this unless I was at least bi. Until this forum, I've never known anyone else in the CD world so I had no references to change this way of thinking. As I've met more and more girls on this forum, I've realized what many have already said. Being a CD does not have anything to do with your sexual orientation. It may reflect inner desires or it may simply reflect an inner personality wanting to come out. Either way is perfectly fine and celebrated here which I love!!???

To follow up on all of this. I love women, I have no attraction to guys. Like it has been said but none of that matters. If you are on this site you are a guy that likes to dress as a woman or a woman who likes to dress as a guy. It is just clothing and an expression of our own personalities. So to answer the question, yes you can be CD and completely straight, but be who you are not a label.

I think I understand why the question is asked, because when I was young the only place where I thought one would find crossdressed men was in a gay bar - unless you were a comedian on television like Flip Wilson or Milton Berle. I think there are multiple posts on this site, and multiple reports and comments on other sites, to support the notion that straight men can have a desire to cross dress and not be attracted to men.

But since I really liked Millicents comments about sexual orientation and gender issues being completely separate, and I liked her comments about both sexual orientation and gender being a spectrum - so I want to add a few things to that

I my case I did wonder about my own sexual orientation a bit when I was young - I did experiment with men. And of course really I wondered why I earth I wanted to wear pantyhose. But I did not ever think, and still dont think, that my openness to gender and crossdressing questions had anything to do with my openness to sexual orientation questions.

This site seems to be welcoming to people across the whole trans spectrum - from the novice crossdresser like myself who is just getting back into it after many years and still gets a tremendous thrill from simply walking into a drugstore to buy pantyhose - to those who have gone through a complete transition, live their lives as a woman, and for whom picking up yet another pair of pantyhose is no more exciting that buying toothpaste. I like that about this site - diversity within our community.

I think that sexual orientation is also a spectrum - ranging from someone who never has any sexual contact with someone of the same sex, to someone who experimented briefly when young, to someone who may find only crossdressed people of the same sex to be attractive, to someone who is completely attracted to all genders no matter what sexual organs they have or how they dress, to someone who is exclusively attracted to the same sex. There is lots of diversity when it comes to sexual orientation too - it comes in more than three colours.

I think question that is asked here is a good one because I think many crossdressers ask it.

I also think that on both fronts, gender and sexual orientation, the best we can do is realize they are separate issues and try to dress, act and love in a way feels right for us - and we should also try to be open and warm to those reside in different places on the two spectrums than we do.

Extremely well said Kendra!!!!

thanks Codille, I feel pretty strongly about this - we all need to be more flexible and more tolerant

It's funny that I noticed this topic on here because this is what happened to me today:

When I went to pick up my new heels today, there was a young man at the counter. I was looking at shoes before I picked up the ones I ordered when he came up to me and asked if I needed any help, (like they always do at Payless), I said "No thanks, I'll be up in a minute to pick up the things I ordered". I finished looking around and went to the counter to pick up my order. It was very easy to tell from his mannerisms, speech and dress that he had a very strong feminine side to him. He handed me my order and I sat down to try on my heels before I took them home.

Please bare with me, I know this is getting just a little long but honest, I do have a point I'm trying to make. 🙂

Anyway, I always wear hose when I wear my heels and the heels I just bought kept sliding on my feet as I walked around the store so I went up to the counter and bought some pads to put in the toes of the heels. As I was starting to pay, he complemented me on my nail polish and asked me how I would like to be recognized. I told him "Michael" (my real name) and he said "Oh". I said, I just like women clothes and shoes and because I have nice looking hands and feet, I also like nail polish. I said I don't label myself.

So, with all of that being said, I love to wear women's clothes. Everything from panties to jeans, skirts, tops, shoes, and yes, even breast forms. I like everything girlie. I have no interest in men unless they want to go hunting or fishing or want to help me rebuild my truck. I have a loving wife that supports me and I love more than anything in this world. So how you would label me, I don't know. I am afraid of nothing, just don't have the nerve to go out in public fully dressed yet. I do wear my heels in public as well as wear my polish for all to see, just don't have the nerve yet to go fully dressed. So there I am. You tell me how I should be labeled, I would really like to know.

Amber,

Vanessa just asked me write a personal article that has many of these same emotions so check out the stories on the home page or I can post the link here if you'd like.

As for a lable, you are yourself/Amber. You are unique. No one is exactly like you. I use the term crossdresser because it is easier for people to understand but really you are just yourself. One of a kind with individuals that share some of the same feelings and emotions you have but in the end everyone is different. So embrace your uniqueness and celebrate our similarities and bonds.

Codille

I could not agree more. Sexual orientation has very very little if anything at all to do with crossdressing. Claudia and I were just kind of talking about this.

Change of thought, we live in a age where in the last 60ish years (so within our life time or close to it), where woman and minorities have gotten the right to vote. The sexual revolution happened in the late 60's and 70's. AIDS and HIV hit not only the Homosexual population but third-world countries and made us aware to be more careful. In the last 15 years the "Gay" revolution has happened and people started to not hide in the shadows if they were gay or lesbian. Society hasn't completely accepted it but it has come a damn long way. The Supreme Court of the United States in the last year made same sex couples able to marry ANYWHERE in the US by law, (Political interjection, Ignore KY county clerks.) All of this has to do with sexuality, color, sexual orientation and labels. It may be easier for us to explain to others "what" are with a label they may understand from society but it really isn't that simple. Each of us is unique and that is the way we are wired. SO however you see yourself, understand there may be people similar to you but no one is exactly like you.

So I guess I can only go back to an earlier post I have on here. I was born male and still biologically am and I have no desire or underling drive to transition at all, I am attracted only to women and happily married for 21 years (heterosexual and straight by societal definitions), I like to dress in women's clothing (a crossdresser again by societal definition), so the answer t the question posted would be yes. But does how I just described myself really describe me and who I am as a whole, not at all.

I hope in our if not our children's generation, society finally evolves to the point where we are not black, white, yellow, purple, straight, gay, bi, CD, TG.... I am seeing it in some of our generation but I am amazingly seeing the blindness to differences in my children's eyes and generation. May there be hope for humanity to understand and accept people different them be on the horizon. And no I am not naïve to think the whole world will change, heck there are still people on both sides fighting the Civil War and that was 150 years ago.

May you all find peace with whom you are and know that there are people similar to you that are struggling like you are and there is support among friends right here on this site. I know in the short period I have been here I have found more courage to be who I truly am through support of the ladies here. I have always had my wife and her telling me it's just clothing but to have so many of you in the same age group struggling with the same issues and being bold and stepping out. YOU ARE AMAZING AND INSPIRING!!! BE WHO YOU ARE AND BE STRONG!!!!!

Thank you all for your friendship and strength,

Codille

I am a heterosexual crossdresser and have never felt an attraction to any particular male. Though I have had thoughts of being a bridesmaid at a wedding and being the date of one of the groomsmen and being treated like a lady. Nothing sexual, just being accompanied by a groomsman and him offering his jacket when it began to get chilly at an out door wedding. And maybe him holding my heels as I danced barefoot on the dance floor.

Kelci-I feel the same way. Being with a male AS A MALE holds no interest for me(channeling Seinfeld-not that there's anything wrong with that":) ) but I would like to experience the feminine role on a date(dinner,dancing,and a nightcap) and be treated like a lady but only if I actually WERE a woman. I don't know that I could do that if I Were just presenting as a female but had not actually transitioned If I were to transition, I am not sure who I wold be more attracted to . Right now it would be females that I am attracted to but with the influence of estrogen on the brain and the lack of testosterone things could change I suppose. One TS said it best in an article- "I want to dress like a woman, act like a woman, be danced with, held and kissed like a woman"! I'm just not sure who I'd be dancing with 🙂 !

Well put Kelci.
I am with you hon. Dress me up, have fun, and keep your hands to yourself.

Claudia