Archived Replies To: Partially Femme

Jennifer,

The one time I went out and actually saw anyone I was wearing Capri yoga pants, and a coat; no wig no makeup no breastforms. I went into a Dunkin Donuts; and stopped for gas at a self serve station got a few looks but no comments.  Fun!! Definitely looking forward to trying it again and someday in full femme mode!!

Jennifer,

I have often go out without wig or makeup.  Usually, I am wearing jeans and a tee, but have occasionally been wearing a dress or skirt.  Mind you, most of these trips are limited with regard to interaction, but they all serve to allow me the freedom to dress as I wish.

My most interesting experience was a trip to a fast food drive thru.  The young lady at the drive thru window fumbled passing my soda which resulted in her partially spilling it on my dress.  My fondest memory was her expression and her being tongue tied on how to address me.  She did manage to offer me some napkins to clean the dress.

I also travelled from Michigan to Maryland wearing a skort and tee.  This was my choice of travel attire for reasons of comfort.  This trip did involve several stops for gas and lunch.  I had no issues of entering the travel plazas on the turnpikes and interacting with associates there.  None made any comments to me directly.

I do dream of the day that I will be able to dress however I feel without consequence.  As I do not see myself as a woman, but rather a man who is in touch with both his masculinity and his femininity, one of my fondest hopes is eventually to live in a world where dress is separated by gender.

MacKenzie

Thanks for the replies! I like the drive thru story and the trip to Dunkin Donuts!

Years ago when I travelled for business (pre 9/11) I would fly in skirts and dresses and never had a problem at the airport. I wasn't traveling with anyone else so I was able to enjoy quite a bit of freedom. I tended to go to the same locations and restaurants on my trips and a couple of the waitresses were super friendly and would chat with me. It was really quite enjoyable.

I agree though, in my ideal world I would get to dress however I felt on any given day. When I have more "manly" things to do I would just wear my regular guy jeans and a t-shirt. On other days when I wanted to feel a little more pretty and do a little shopping or go out to eat I would put on a cute dress. Women actually have this freedom now, but I would like to be able to do this without consequence as well.

Actually, the fit and flare shirt dress I'm wearing now is super comfortable and would be great for a road trip!

When I go out, I am always fully dressed with total makeup.

When dressed I do not look like myself so I know that I won't be recognized.

Been thinking more about this.  Seems like going out partially femme is truly "...owning it.."; by openly wearing femme attire with no apparent attempt "to pass" as a cisgender female, are we simply communicating that we see our gender as being fluid?  When I was in college there was an older CD that used to ride the bus near the off campus apartment I lived in; wig, makeup, full clothing, accessories including a purse...but she also had a mustache and partial beard; didn't think much about it at the time; but I do think in doe way she was making a statement.

I have now gone out partially femme; and openly asked dressing room attendants in a women's clothing store to let me try on clothes and assist in sizing;  I may be making a statement as well.  I like women's things; while in the traditional binary gender world that is taboo; I'm embracing a side of me without regard for what is considered "normal".

Kim 👠💋👙👗

The first time I ever went out dressed partially fem was wearing pantyhose with shorts and shaved legs. I was worried to death about being noticed, ridiculed and beat up. Every time I got near people, I was waiting for the comments, laughing and taunting. None of that happened. In fact it was a total non event. It was like me and my girlfriend were the only ones who knew I was wearing pantyhose.

Men's shorts were shorter back then but I still wanted mine to be a little shorter, so I began to buy and wear women's shorts. I enjoyed them. They showed more leg and I enjoyed wearing them out. I used to enjoy wearing that outfit when I would shop for and buy pantyhose.

I know there are those who are nervous about buying women's clothes, thinking someone might think they are buying the clothes for themselves. Others don't want to wear their fem clothes out in public, worried about getting noticed. I was fine with getting noticed. The few times I did, it was a fun experience. I had been buying my own pantyhose for 4 years and the women's shorts for a year, I really never paid any mind to whether or not someone was thinking I was buying them for myself. No doubt wearing pantyhose with my short shorts while shopping for and buying more of those items would leave little doubt I was buying them for myself.

One day that's exactly what happened. I was on a cashier line in my pantyhose and short shorts waiting to buy several more pairs of pantyhose. A girl behind me noticed what I was wearing and buying. We got to talking. She wondered why I didn't wear other female clothing items. A few weeks later she bought some lingerie she thought I might like to try. I loved them. Then she began suggesting I might want to try dressing totally fem. There was a Halloween party at college, She suggested we go as a couple She could be the guy and I would be the girl. She reminded me, I would be wearing pantyhose and showing off my legs. So off we went to get a costume.

I got everything I needed. It was all good except the heels and makeup. The heels were way to high to walk or even stand in, but I got used to them in a couple of weeks. The makeup she helped me with.

The party was a blast. I got so much attention and compliments. I even won "sexiest costume" and "best legs". We also won "best couple theme". That was a total surprise. I also met others who apparently were other dressers who told me I should come to their parties.

I went from partially fem to totally fem and I just loved it. After clooege i didn't dress for years, Several years ago I began dabbling with it again. I bought more clothes and I dress everyday. I've been getting out some and really love that too. Now I'm looking to improve my look and get out as often as possible. The attitude today seems to be more accepting and tolerant then it used to be.

I haven't gone out in a dress or skirt without wig and makeup but i have gone on out partially femme as you put it.  I've gone out shopping in women's skinny jeans, and a a blouse.  I'll wear smallish breast forms and maybe a pair of flats that aren't glaringly feminine yet clearly women's shoes if you look close enough.  I'll also wear eyeliner, mascara, and maybe a hint of eye shadow along with a lip balm that has a bit of color and shine to it.  So I don't really stand out as female or CD, yet I have my feminine touches.  Like others I haven't ever had an issue with someone being rude or looking at me weird.  Well if they did look at me weird I didn't see it, so then it didn't happen right?

For me, it's not even so much as being a man sometimes and a woman at other times. In my ideal world I just put on whatever I felt like. If I'm feeling more masculine and need to work on the house, I would just put on guy jeans and a t-shirt. If I'm feeling a little girly I may throw on a cute skirt and top and go shopping. For those really femme days I would get all dolled up with makeup and wig and do a nice dinner or dancing. So, kinda fluid I suppose. I know that's not the real world, but I can dream. 👗👠

Women can do this every day and no one even bats an eye. Men have many societal advantages, except they do not have complete freedom to express in feminine ways. It's a little better these days, but it's still taboo.

In my ideal world I just put on whatever I felt like. ... Women can do this every day and no one even bats an eye. Men have many societal advantages, except they do not have complete freedom to express in feminine ways. It’s a little better these days, but it’s still taboo.

I would absolutely love to see our society evolve to this, Jennifer. Things are getting better. And I suspect when our grandchildren look back historically they'll say things changed quickly - even 20 years ago, who would've thought it would be OK for two guys or two gals to get legally married? - but it sure feels like a snail's pace sometimes while we're living it day-to-day.

Hopefully, we'll get here soon! In the meantime, though, I'll continue to be outwardly femme at home only. For now.

Never went outside unless I was in full girl mode. More fun that way.

I've done pretty much the same thing. I wore women's jeans and a pair of flats or cute sandals. No one said anything; just an ordinary event. It was pretty cool.

my choice is to wear what i want when i want. i have no desire to pass so i push the envelope often. i always do my toes (thats how i started at 8 with heels and nail polish) i always wear panties and womens tank or cami then if possible a bra. womens jeans

thats my usual attire no make up. i d like to wear a little foundation and eyeliner some lip gloss nothing too gaudy.

i d also like to wear some stiletties or strappy wedges

but for now just the jeans and the underdressing

Went out partially dressed again over the weekend; went to a convenience store to pickup milk in my yoga pants with a bright pink print top and sports bra strap showing under a quarter zip sweatshirt... got a look from one other customer and a longer than normal look from cashier...very exciting...got home and half hour later realized I left the milk in the car...

Kim

@Kim ... Awesome for you! Getting interesting looks comes with the territory, but I have fun messing with people.

@Stefanie ... I agree, I like to wear what I want to wear. I don't like other people's standards to dictate what I put on.

Last week I ventured out at lunch in my flare dress and knee high boots with no makeup or wig. I went to Ulta to begin collecting what I need to do makeup. The ladies there were awesome! The cashier greeted me enthusiastically as I walked in. I wanted to get a set of makeup brushes, so I asked one of the sales assistants for some help. She led me over to the brushes and we talked about what I needed, after I explained I was starting with nothing. When I went to pay, the cashier was super friendly and said that the brushes I bought were awesome, and she recommends them. Overall, it was enjoyable being treated like one of the ladies and not some outcast.