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So the yer is 2002, and Im now seperated from my ex.This woman tells me she's going to my parents with what is currently our secret, well ours and 4 other people. A little bit about the folks before I proceed. Dad spent 20 years in the Royal Navy, built like a fire hydrant, the temper of a rabid pitbull. Mom, well she's Irish Catholic, need I say more?
I decided my best course of action would be to out myself, with what I just described about my parents made this a daunting task. I'm not ashamed to say, I was quaking in my britches. So, I rang up my mom & said I have to talk to the 2 of you. They already new of our separation, and they were about to get the shock of their lives.
Conversation started this way, mom, dad....long pause to gain some courage....ok uncomfortably long. I finally blurted it out, I choose to dress as a woman............long silence. The tension in the room was thicker than Moms pea soup. Dad was the first to speak, I will not subject you to the pro-fain tirade that came out of his mouth, I will say this, it was the 2nd time in my life I saw him cry. He ended his tirade with, the wrong one died...(more back story- twin died at birth). He then got up and I thought I was about to be killed, and said you know where the door is, and it will be closed forever to you. Mom just sat there, tears running down her cheeks, I got up and left. By their words and expressions, you would think I just killed Queen Elizabeth.
Fast forward 10 years, 10pm, February 2012, I receive a phone call from Ireland, its my mother, no contact at all for the last 10 years, its also 3 in the morning over there. My fathers ill. Fly out next afternoon, scared but I have to do this. After arriving, mum greets me, brought me to see my father, the initial silence is deafening. We finally talk and got 10 years of frustration out of our system.
Both of my parents now accept, don't know if they understand, but they accept Jessica. My dad says he gained a daughter, but still has a son. We spend time together.
Moral of the story, even the worst situations can turn good.
Take the chance, the ending may surprise you.
I'm not sure if we missed a little bit of the beginning of your story but what is there is powerful yet with an encouraging outcome.
Going back those ten years it's easy to see how different attitudes of the time were. Few people knew anything about transgender. Even fewer understood the need we have within. They inevitably saw it as a choice we make.
There were factors working in your favour to Jessica. Despite the gruff outbursts and cutting you off I am certain that you were still often on their minds. They might even have wanted to break the stalemate but lacked the conviction to do so. That's all in the past now though. What is important is that they have accepted their child for who she is. Your dad is spot on, they didn't lose a son, they just gained a daughter as well.
Thank you for sharing this peek into your life. Your message is well worth taking on board. That reconciliation is a wonderful thing. 🙂
Jane,
Your statement means a lot to me.
I fixed the begining section, copy and paste missed a part.
Thanks for your very kind words.
JessicaLynn
DAggone Jessica-what is it aout our ambassador team? do we just all liekto make each other cry? what a fantastic story-and a great adaptation to the Bible story to be the Prodigal Daughter! I am so happy that you were able to reconcile with your parents. I wish mine were alive to see the additional daughter they probably never realized they had.
JessicaLynn thank you for sharing your story I so wish my mother was still alive she is likely the one person whom would have unconditionally stood behind me or in front if need be .You inspire those that are struggling and give them hope that everything will turn out the way it should thank you for being brave enough to share . Hugs Julianne
Julianne, that post took 2 weeks to write, there were no more than 100 edits, rewrites etc... if my life can help one of you, then I am truly blessed.
Thank you again for your kind words.
Jess
Thank you for that Jessica, I grew up with two older sisters, two younger sisters. I was the only boy and the middle child. My Dad and two older sisters are deceased and my mom is in a care facility with Alzheimer's. Of my two younger sisters, I am closer the youngest. Until recently, I hadn't spoken to my other sister in over 20 yrs because of our differences. I have thought about talking with my youngest sister quite a few times, I've even written several drafts of what I wanted to say and how; but I've always ended up tossing what I wrote and the idea of telling her out the window out of fear. What's even more maddening is that I don't know exactly how to express what all those fears are. I've been comfortable with who I am for a long time, but I've also been living two separate, partial lives instead of one complete, whole life.
Ally
Ally, I unfortunately only had 1 option, and that was to blurt it out....and the biggest reason I shared this was to show, that even the worst case scenario.....can eventually turn to good.
Very sorry that you've lost so much...
Cookie 🙂
2016_relationship advice: Cookie JessicaLynn (Irish) original post:
So the yer is 2002, and Im now seperated from my ex.This woman tells me she’s going to my parents with what is currently our secret, well ours and 4 other people. A little bit about the folks before I proceed. Dad spent 20 years in the Royal Navy, built like a fire hydrant, the temper of a rabid pitbull. Mom, well she’s Irish Catholic, need I say more?
I decided my best course of action would be to out myself, with what I just described about my parents made this a daunting task. I’m not ashamed to say, I was quaking in my britches. So, I rang up my mom & said I have to talk to the 2 of you. They already new of our separation, and they were about to get the shock of their lives.
Conversation started this way, mom, dad….long pause to gain some courage….ok uncomfortably long. I finally blurted it out, I choose to dress as a woman…………long silence. The tension in the room was thicker than Moms pea soup. Dad was the first to speak, I will not subject you to the pro-fain tirade that came out of his mouth, I will say this, it was the 2nd time in my life I saw him cry. He ended his tirade with, the wrong one died…(more back story- twin died at birth). He then got up and I thought I was about to be killed, and said you know where the door is, and it will be closed forever to you. Mom just sat there, tears running down her cheeks, I got up and left. By their words and expressions, you would think I just killed Queen Elizabeth.
Fast forward 10 years, 10pm, February 2012, I receive a phone call from Ireland, its my mother, no contact at all for the last 10 years, its also 3 in the morning over there. My fathers ill. Fly out next afternoon, scared but I have to do this. After arriving, mum greets me, brought me to see my father, the initial silence is deafening. We finally talk and got 10 years of frustration out of our system.
Both of my parents now accept, don’t know if they understand, but they accept Jessica. My dad says he gained a daughter, but still has a son. We spend time together.
Moral of the story, even the worst situations can turn good.
Take the chance, the ending may surprise you.
