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A couple of months ago I began seeing a psychiatrist primarily to deal with low self-esteem issues I have as well as dealing with moving to a city 1,000 miles from home. I have been encouraged by friends on the site to consider discussing Kelci with my therapist. I had planned on doing so in the near future, but the near future happened to be today. It felt like a ton of bricks were released from my back . She was so interested and engaged as I spoke and though she is the licensed, board certified MD she allowed me to dictate the flow of the conversation. I told her as I have grown older my desire to become Kelci has increased, though I did emphasize a full transition was not in my current plans. She solidified with me that gender dysphoria is not a mental or physical defect, rather an actual part of one's inner self. She asked me if I had made a decision to be identified by a female name, in which I replied yes. And then asked if I preferred to be called Kelci by her, which I replied "No" but I think the time will come when I will want to be referred to as Kelci by her. She told me that she has several patients dealing with gender dysphoria and said she feels as the biggest issue that a spouse has is that the person whom they are married to has kept the secret from them. It was so liberating to be able to be so open with my therapist as she is trained to help deal with certain issues. I would like to thank all my great friends here on CDH for encouraging me to have that talk with my therapist. Though I don't view it as a stepping stone to tell my family and loved ones, the step in which I took today provided me with so much more confidence than I ever thought I had. Thank you all for your support and I am willing to answer any questions any of you wonderful ladies may have. Hugs Kelci
Kelci,
What a giant step you haven taken. To read how proud you were to get this off your chest warmrd my heart. I am so excited and happy watching your confidence level soar! Keep reaching for the moon, and you're going to grab a star!
Hugs!!!!!
Jessica!!!
Kelci! OMG I am sooooooo excited for you! What a monumentally huge first step you have taken! I cant wait to see what happens next for you! Congratulations and thank you for sharing this great news!
Kelci, you KNOW how happy I am to see this! I know all to well the weight off of your shoulders. This IS a HUGE baby step taken by you. I know you say that you're not yet ready to come out to your family, I get that, but the days is coming. I'll continue to help you by holding your hand with each step you take if you will allow me. It's ALL YOUR decision to make, and I'll continue to stand with you no matter that decision. See ya soon!
I thank you wonderful ladies for all the kind words. None of this would be possible without you all. I don't know what steps I may take in the future, but I know for certain I will not take those steps alone thanks to my awesome and supportive friends. I love you all.
I also want to note that my therapist suggest I keep a journal and share my feelings that I have from day to day. Having starting today, it reminded me of how blessed I am for having the support I do have and how I could not have hand selected a better group of wonderful ladies in my life even if I were given a choice. I truly believe God has put each and every one of you in my life for a specific purpose. I in turn hope that in some way I have had an impact in your all's lives as well.
Hugs
Kelci
Kelci it is such a joy to watch you develop, taking those steps that help you to embrace who you are. Congratulations on introducing Kelci to your counsellor.
Coming out to your family is a big step but it doesn't always turn out to be as big as we think. I've mentioned before how I had decided that my 80-year old mother didn't need to know about Jane yet last night, on the evening of the first day of the week she is visiting us for, I told her. Her response was "You're my son, I love you no matter what?" Some of that may have been her saying what she thinks she should say but there were no odd looks, no 'shock horror' and things continue to be great today. I believe that things have worked out for the best.
I'm sure you too will know when the time is right. We will all be here for you when you do.
🙂
Kelci-
you have indeed touched many lives and made a difference in each of them including mine! I am a far better person for having known you and you continue to influence me every single day! Thank you for your friendship!
Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. You have been such a blessing to me and who I am becoming.You are never judgmental and never pressure me into doing something I do not feel comfortable doing and I so appreciate that.
Jane, that is so awesome you came out to your mother and she loves you just the same. I am so thankful for your encouragement as it has been a vital part of me growing as Kelci.
Hugs
Kelci
Kelci-
I aleady shared this with you verbally but wanted to write it down so you could go back and read it anytime you feel a little down on yourself(as we ALL do from time to time).
Watching you bloom from being the wallflower-lurking in the shadows of the chatroom-afraid to speak and give your opinion to the beautiful,vivacious and engaging woman you are becoming is like watching the petals of a desert flower after an unexpected rain. The pale colors of the previously dormant flowering plant have given way to the vibrant bold hues of a tropical hothouse flower. It is no surprise to me that you made this transformation as the seeds of it were always present within you-needing only the spark to start the process of becoming who you were meant to be. Now as you and JAsmine enjoy the beginning stages of what I hope is a lifelong relationship, you have the glow of someone in love and it only adds to your natural beauty!
Congratulations on the happiness you have found and I along with many members of our community cannot wait to see what is next for Kelci! Here's to a great 2015 an even better 2016 and many many years of joy and happiness!
Hugs,
Cyn
