Date Night Dilemma

Oh Lea I so emphasize with you hunni. I used to watch my wife doing her makeup and get so jealous, envious even. Then as she walks out in her heels and hose I am ready to scream. One nite I told her how unfair it is. We are both feminine creatures but due to society I am not allowed to express my femininity which I have fully embraced.

A few weeks later we had just gotten in the car for a two hour drive. She asked to me not to begin the drive until she applied her lipstick. Arrrrggggghhhh! When finished she asked how it looked. I said it looks nice hunni. She smiled and said "want some"? Yes please!! She handed me her lipstick and Asked what am I going to do with you? I smiled and said take me shopping!

I applied my lipstick. She told me it looked nice and asked if I was happy. I said oh yes and I just love how creamy Bobbi Brown lipstick is!

I totally understand your dilemma! I am a married "secret" CD. No one knows, not even my wife. The other day when I came home from work, my wife was wearing one of "my" favorite dresses! I did not know what I wanted more: to sweep her off her feet and make love to her or to wear that outfit! Whenever we go out, I am sitting waiting for her to get ready thinking all the time that I wish I could be the one getting dolled up. Then when she finally is ready, I look at her and feel total envy! It drives me nuts!

When I've hinted at CD in general she seems not interested, so I've never come out frankly to tell her. When I'm with her, sometimes I fantasize that I am dressed up too, and we are two women together. Yes, in bed too. Is that weird?

Isn't this the issue that affects most of us who are cross dressers. In my case I have a totally non supportive SO however she does appreciate my sense of style, choice of clothes, hair and make up. We often chat while shopping however she knows my interest is only tethered to how the article of clothing lipstick etc would look on me. She knows I dress but deep down she knows why I dress. To feel good and that I am attracted to TG/CD and if she allowed me to dress she probably knows where it would end up. Knowing that she will never support Grace she is not niece to know that while she is away Grace comes to the surface. As I write this I am preparing for a date with another CD and let's hope our fashion show together results in a wild and not so proper experience. If only life were simpler and one could wear what one likes, looks good in and enjoys. Though I do it often it always in secrecy.

Grace,

You are so right, "If only life were simpler and one could wear what one likes, looks good in and enjoys." That same thought crosses my mind everyday as I wonder why not.

Your post encouraged me that I'm not alone in this struggle.

- Lea

StephanieW,

For years, I tried to drop hints to my wife that I was a CD. Even dressed up in her clothes a few times as a "joke". Went as far buying a pair of heels and showing her how I looked wearing them and one of her dresses, she became more suspicious when she noticed that I kept the heels instead of returning them to the store.

Then I started getting dressed up and hoping she would just catch me dressed up, only to quickly undress before she actually walked in. It took weeks of this game, then one day, when I least expected, she caught me dressed up - not the best approach. She didn't react well at all. Hindsight, should have just talked to her - but how does one start the discussion about being a crossdresser.

It's not wierd to want to get dressed up with her, even in bed, and act like two women together. It's part of being a crossdresser, wanting to express this deep, intimate, signficant part of us with the woman who means the most to us.

If only life were simpler....

Lea

Julie,

What a cool ending, getting  to wear lipstick. Maybe she'll let you wear some flats out next since those aren't really that noticeable, or maybe girly jeans. One piece of advice I've heard from others, take it slowly - just because she gave you an inch doesn't mean she's ready for a mile.

Lea

My wife is totally into my dressing up. Years ago soon after we met I dressed up for her. She was amazed at how pretty and sexy I looked. We often go out shopping and buying clothes for both of us.

2016_personal stories: Lea original post: 

I recently had a date night dilemma, not exactly the usual one that us CDs have, but completely related to what outfit to wear and which shoes.

It was supposed to be date night out with my wife, which we haven’t done in a long time.

The only problem was that I didn’t want to go and couldn’t tell her the real excuse. It wasn’t a sports championship, or plans with friends, or work, or feeling sick, or not wanting to get dressed up.

The problem was the opposite, I wanted to go but only if I got dressed up in a dress and heels, which my wife has been open that she won’t accept.

As she picked out her dress, matched heels, did her hair, cleaned out her purse, I was depressed since I too wanted to wear a date night outfit. I felt again that ridicule of not being able to dress how I wanted. That feeling overcome my interest in going out. I reluctantly got ready, put some effort to have a good time, but I also felt sad since an important part of me had to be supressed.

Seeing beautifully dressed women in the restaurant and bars we visited made me miss my feminine side even more. And the dilemma lingered if there really is a balance to it all.