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... no - not dancing in stilletos in the snow - though I'm sure plenty of us have done that... (Those who don't recognise the reference - lemme know and I'll explain...) A couple of months ago I posted a forum mentioning that I had chickened out of talking to a CD lady on the bus, so betraying my basic principles. Yes, she had a rather bald head and a full beard, but she was obviously a lady. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to go and tell her how much I loved the bright and colourful trousers she was wearing: I felt so ashamed of myself. Was I ever going to get the chance to chance to redeem myself and acknowledge our sisterhood? Well... this morning I went out - a usual - to collect my newspaper. I wandered into the shop, got the paper and then... there she was, sitting on the bench outside; she was wearing a short, black skirt, black tights and some really lovely black knee length boots. I had felt so ashamed of myself last time so... it meant I had to walk the wrong way to get home, but I had to do it... She saw me coming and looked rather worried; there is this over tall, still too heavy and very, very hairy and horribly un-attractive man heading towards her; I think she must have been just a little scared... But then; three little words that I managed to stammer out and that meant so much to me: "Like your boots!" I got a big, big smile and a really lovely "Thank You!" I'm hoping it made her day a little better - it certainly made mine and gave me a massive buzz that I don't think is going to go away any time soon! Ladies; there are some girls out there who have the guts to appear en femme in public (I'm still trying to get the courage up!) - please, please, PLEASE just support them even if it's just by saying hello and showing them that they are fully accepted by at least some of the public; you'll make their day and YOU will be on cloud nine for I don't know how long - I'm still buzzing and I don't know when the feeling is going to disappear!!! A wrong - now righted!!! Holly XXX
@hottestwitch I did this myself recently and had a lovely chat with a lovely lady called Paula. I introduced myself as a sister, showed her a photo on my phone so she could see me en-femme and we had a good natter whilst standing in a queue.
Anna x
That's great, Holly, I'm glad you got, and took, your second chance. I think I may have said, in reply to your first post, that I had passed what I thought was either another crossdresser or trans lady and within seconds felt that I should have spoken but, as we were going in opposite directions, the moment was gone.
I will not just pass if I get another chance. And any feelings of satisfaction will be secondary to those of sistership (but no less welcome!)
Thanks for sharing this.
Allie x
This is a win-win for both of you Holly. Stretching your comfort zone moves you forward AND you made someone's day. Very cool!
When I was just starting to go out, little validations like this meant so much to me. It really helped build my confidence. And it works both ways.
When you validate another CD or trans woman, you're also validating yourself.
Holly, I hope someday you're the one receiving compliments while out and about.
Keep doing what you're doing!
Hugs, Liz
@lizk You're right; little baby steps can only be a good thing - if I could get a complement from anyone else while I'm fully dressed it would be the best thing I could ever imagine! If it ever happens, I'll let you know!!! Holly XXX
@hottestwitch I have never met a crossdresser in the wild. I hope to be able to do the right thing when it happens.
I did see a man one time with light blue nail polish on his fingers and I did mention that I likes his colour choice.
C💋
Caroline, I wear nail polish all the time, drab or enfemme. Right now I have pink glitter on my nails. No matter where I go, women and some men compliment me on them. If someone is "brave" enough to do this, then they most likely are willing to take anything that comes their way, compliments or insults. I've only gotten compliments and it is one of the best conversation starters ever. I thank the person and then say something like," I need to redo them...they're a little old". I might compliment the woman back and ask where she gets hers done. I've never gotten them done professionally as I feel it would be a waste of money as I would break them within a day or two. I do keep them longer than most men would have them which does make them stand out.
P.S. I LOVE getting compliments on my nails.
@lisanicole I just LOVE the fact that we can have a talk about something that I know NOTHING whatsoever about! Nails? It's not that long since I stopped biting mine, and they never grow more than about one fifth of an inch before they start breaking and my cuticles start going back and becoming caked with dirt... Holly XXX
Holly, My experience was similar. At first, years ago, my nails were not strong and would break when I let them grow. It took a few years for them to become stronger at a longer length. It's as if they had to learn how to be stronger. Can't give you any logical explanation, but I can now keep them well past my finger.
@lisanicole Lisa - you are lucky! For me, anything over about a quarter of an inch is just asking for splits, breaks and "Please can I buy some false nails?" (Not that I would ever have the courage to go and ask that....) Holly XXX
@hottestwitch Holly, I'd absolutely love to have false nails. Amazon must be our friend here xx.
Holly you've found a perfect reason to use nail polish. I like to grow my nails out, and I started using nail hardener polish - and it works to a degree in minimising breakages.
At first I used a matte version, which didn't really show. But over time I swapped to a clear gloss version which was much more fun. But it's a slippery slope 😉
@lisanicole Amazing!!! I have my toes done every summer for the past 5 years. I wear sandals en drab. I’ve had some questions and some compliments. Nobody has said anything negative.
C💋
@carolinecd306 I do my toes about once a month - the biggest problem is that my feet look truly horrible... Ho, hum: Holly XXX
@hottestwitch My feet are not bad, despite the fact they live in steel toe construction boots most of the time.
The anniversary pedicure with scrubbing, sanding and massage helps keep them decent.
C💋
@carolinecd306 mine look terrible due to years of long distance running. I keep my toe nails painted so they don't look so bad.
Anna x
My toes are done all year long. I guess I'm lucky that I can bend down that far. Yuck...Yuck. I wear sandals much of the time. When I paint them with a bright Orange, it gets noticed.
@lisanicole Orange is my favourite colour, i have so much orange stuff.
I keep getting my toes orange, time after time and I love it every time.
C💋
@carolinecd306 You minx, you!!! Congratulations - and here's looking forward to the next time! Holly XXX
@hottestwitch Not so long ago I had a very long chat with a trans lady in a pub in York. Not about clothes or attitudes or anything related, just general chat. She was very forthright & outgoing & it was just "life as it goes on" It was tempting to delve into transition territory but as I was there with Mrs B's family that wouldn't have been appropriate & maybe she wouldn't have wanted that either. In the end it's just being nice to each other isn't it?
@hottestwitch Firstly, it wasn't a 'wrong' the first time, only something you weren't ready to do. However, I'm thrilled you got another opportunity and with the same person, better still!
Next time you'll tell her about the first time and have a convo and after that, girl...the world is your oyster. 😉
Trust me, I used to be a shy little thing. Then again, maybe I'm a warning 🤔
@melodeescarlet Melodee - you're not a warning - you're an inspiration! If I get to see her again, I want to sit down and tell her all about my history and tell her how much I admire her courage; I just wish I had had the courage to do all of this thirty years or so ago... Holly XXX
@hottestwitch But forward is the way to be looking, girl. Spend your energies there and let past Holly make future Holly happier. 😉
I applaud your bravery, bravo
Lacy
Barefoot on the lawn with shooting stars
Do you remember
Loving on the floor in Belsize Park
I love that song with a passion, takes me back many years, to long before I got old, long before I became a cross dresser. I was young, extraordinarily virile and the world was my oyster. I loved Fish' lyrics and was devastated when he left the band. It still goes on but it just isn't the same.
But I digress. Good on you for speaking the her and I'm glad you got a second chance.
Becca
@rebeccabaxter I never got to go to Belsize Park - I just wish I had taken the opportunity... Fish (I'm not going to mention his real name) was a perfect fit for Marillion - and being a Tolkein fanatic, I was always going to be at the least interested in them. You're right; they haven't been the same since... and I'm just so glad that I got the courage up (daft though that may sound!) because I KNOW it gave me a boost - and I'm sure it did for her as well! After all, if I had got the courage up to go out in the light and some dodgy looking bloke had come up to me and said "Like your boots!" what would I have thought? OVER THE MOON! Holly XXX
Holly -
Congratulations on taking the opportunity that presented itself, I'm sure you made her day.
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue Thank you! It was probably only a very small thing, but it just made me feel so much more sure and confident about myself... I'm off on holiday to Slovakia on the 18th; my wife is away visiting her mother and won't be back by then... I think this has to be the trigger for me to go out in the daylight... maybe tomorrow morning, maybe Tuesday morning - it just has to be soon, while I still have the courage... Holly XXX
@hottestwitch I did today, for all of 5 minutes into my front garden as the neighbours were out.
@annaredhead good for you Anna - somebody once said "one small step" - remember every journey starts with the first step - congrats - hope you have more opportunities soon
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue I'm fine with doing so away from home, but where I live, I don't think my neighbours would be that accepting and I don't want to chance it much.
Anna x
@annaredhead I agree and totally understand - I could never do that at home my self although I have pushed the envelope a couple times - very early in the morning (still dark outside) wearing a blouse under jacket in cooler weather or a pair of female jeans when walking the dog (everyone still sleeping so minimal chance of meeting someone).
XOXO
Suzanne
@cdsue I have come home with makeup on and nails done, but put a shapeless male garment over the top. Took wig and earrings off but left the girls in my bra.
Anna x
I saw a sister waiting while walking past the bus stop in the High Street today. I didn't stop as the bus was just coming, but we did catch each others' eye and smile. She seemed to have deliberately very pale makeup, making her red lipstick stand out. I think she was wearing a lot of black too, so I'm thinking, possibly a Goth. If I see her again when there's more time, I'll definitely chat.
If you were dressed at the time, she would never have known your status...... Just make sure you say hello next time it happens - it must be one hell of a thrill - for both of you!!! Holly XXX
@hottestwitch You're too kind Holly - yes, I was dressed. My favourite short floaty flowery summer dress, and open toed sandals that go with my handbag.
@finallyfiona You painted your toenails? Sure that would have looked fantastic... Holly XXX
@hottestwitch Still painted from LFF last weekend - the silver goes nicely with the decoration on the band of the shoes, too 🙂
