Getting rid of Crossdressing

Hally,

This that you are asking is tough, I have gone trough those phases for many years, I have not been able to discard my desires..   A priest I talked to about the issue told me that we are all human and have human desires that we can not negate.  just take it easy, do not discard your Bag of pretty clotehs and make up, but keep it hidden, use your private time wisely, I usually do that all the time that I get, I had to take a trip to Maine, nobody picked me up a the airport, or drove me there, guess how I flew.. every so often I drive on trips, alone, and guess who sitting at the wheel.. like I said do not feel guilty about the need, keep it a secret, make sure to determine what stage are you at, a I enjoy myself dressing and feeling like a woman sometimes, or I do not like woman and dress up to get man to like me, or  I dress as a Woman as I feel that I always have felt that I am a Woman, and although I like women, I just do not want to be a Man anymore, or I like dressing like one, love women, but am comfortable 99.9% of the time being a man, just sometimes get that sensation to be that other wonderful girl we have inside sometimes.. I am the last one so that you know and have been this way for 32 Years... wire to me am msjoancute2002@yahoo.com am on facebook as well.. TC  Joan

I Haily

I have read a lot on the subject and experienced  it for my self for a long time starting with just women's clothes then progressively to fully dressed (makeup, wig, etc.) I to at your age would have liked it to go away, but it did not. This is just me speaking, have read accounts of men who have just resisted the urges to dress and have been successful at living their lives without crossdressing. So this is up to you, a lot of anxiety is associated with trying to resist anything. I hope this info is helpful. Also I wanted to touch on the subject that you mentioned "I was curious If anyone knows of testosterone supplements or something that relieves the desire to crossdress.  These supplement's are dangerous please read the side effects supplements listed below.

Please do not use testosterone or Anabolic steroid supplements as it will not help at all with crossdressing.

What are the possible side effects of AXIRON?(testosterone supplements)    http://www.axiron.com/index.aspx?WT.srch=1&srcid=axrsem_bng_ub_research_43700009561019432_P

AXIRON can cause serious side effects. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the following:
If you already have enlargement of your prostate gland, your signs and symptoms can get worse while using AXIRON. This can include: increased urination at night,
trouble starting your urine stream, having to pass urine many times during the day, having an urge that you have to go to the bathroom right away,
having a urine accident, being unable to pass urine or weak urine flow.Possible increased risk of prostate cancer.
Your healthcare provider should check for prostate cancer or any other prostate problems before you start and while you use AXIRON.
Blood clots in the legs or lungs. Signs and symptoms of a blood clot in your leg can include leg pain, swelling or redness.
Signs and symptoms of a blood clot in your lungs can include difficulty breathing or chest pain.
Possible increased risk of heart attack or stroke.In large doses AXIRON may lower your sperm count.Swelling of your ankles, feet, or body.
Enlarged or painful breasts.Problems breathing while you sleep (sleep apnea).

The most common adverse events include: skin redness or irritation where AXIRON is applied, increased red blood cell count, headache, diarrhea, vomiting,
and increase in blood level of Prostate Specific Antigen (a test used to screen for prostate cancer).
Other side effects include more erections than are normal for you or erections that last a long time.
Long duration erections may damage the tissues that give you an erection.
Side Effects of Anabolic Steroid Abuse               http://www.steroidabuse.com/side-effects-of-steroids.html
LONG TERM SIDE EFFECTS

Only in recent years have researchers been able to define the long term effects of steroid abuse. They are learning more each year as abusers age and problems
present themselves.

SHRUNKEN TESTICLES

Testicular atrophy, a fancy term for shrunken balls, isn’t just a cosmetic problem. Because an outside source of testosterone is being introduced to the body,
the testes no longer get the signal to produce their share. The brain is also being told to slow down the sperm factory, and that the body is getting sperm from
an outside source, usually the hypodermic needle. The brain then sends a signal back to the testicles to take a break. This new function can cause temporary sterility,
and the jury is still out on whether steroids are linked with permanent sterility or not. But why take the chance?

GYNECOMASTIA

Gynecomastia, a pretty word for man-boobs, is another not-so-good side effect of abuse that comes from the improper balance of testosterone.
When the body converts the additional testosterone into estrogen and other female hormones in the male body, female breast tissue is sometimes formed
. Often, surgery with a painful recovery time is the only method of removing the female tissue build-up. Basically, the surgeon enlarges the area to be
liposuctioned with a large amount of sterile fluid then employs ultrasonic liposuction using sound waves to break up the fat. The surgery can cost upwards
of $10,000 and you will be hard pressed to find insurance that will cover steroid abuse.

ENLARGED PROSTATE

Next, the issue of prostate enlargement, which is a problem seen with aging males. This is not something you typically see in younger men,
unless they’re taking anabolic steroids. Over the course of an average life span, the male prostate gland naturally grows thirty times its original size.
It doesn’t need the help of additional testosterone to grow to the size of a grapefruit. However, when large amounts of synthetic testosterone are involved,
the prostate grows faster. The long term effect of that is prostate cancer. It is medically proven that the cancer loves the taste of testosterone,
which feeds the growth of cancer cells.
HIV

One of the deadliest side effects, scoffed at by many abusers, is HIV. Intravenous needle sharing, combined with a heightened sex drive and libido function
can be a very dangerous combination. This is especially true in adolescent teens and young adults who often have weaker decision-making skills and a high
susceptibility to peer pressure. HIV and AIDS-related deaths are on the rise and the epidemic is not as popular in the media as in past decades.
Most people adopt a “that stuff happens to other people” attitude, and many steroid abusers, already practiced rationalizers don’t even consider it at all.

LIVER FAILURE

Peliosis Hepatitis, a condition where blood-filled cysts replace liver and spleen tissue, has been reported in patients receiving long-term
anabolic steroid treatments. These cysts have been associated with liver failure. Discontinued use of steroids has shown a regression and sometimes a complete
disappearance of these cysts; however, during the course of steroid use, the cysts can create tumors. These tumors are less evident and can be silent until
a life-threatening abdominal hemorrhage occurs.

Major heart problems are a side effect as well CARDIOVASCULAR PROBLEMS

High blood cholesterol levels, as discussed earlier in this article, can lead to premature heart conditions, heart attacks and stroke. The increase in muscle mass can
put undue strain on the rest of a body that is not prepared for the surprisingly fast new muscle development. The heart is put under more pressure to provide blood to
more muscle tissue, while processing greater levels of bad cholesterol. Moreover, high blood pressure due to salt and water retention can put even further undue stress
on the heart. No doubt, steroid abuse over long periods of time will inevitably cause damage.

STUNTED GROWTH

Studies have shown that adolescents who abuse steroids are at risk of being short for life. Because the body responds to puberty by slowing and eventually stopping growth,
the pubescent period of life is crucial to future development. When the adolescent brain senses a certain level of hormones in the body, it will send messages to the bones to stop growing, closing the growth plates in the long bones. Young male abusers can expect to be permanently shorter than average height.

LIGAMENT AND JOINT INJURY

Steroids increase muscle mass and muscle strength, but they leave the joints and ligaments out of the equation. Steroid abusers can expect to eventually
put too much strain on ligaments that cannot properly anchor the new muscle strength, leading to possibly severe injury and future surgery to correct torn
shoulder joints or knee ligaments. The muscles are exerted, and the joints simply can’t handle it.

WEIGHT PROBLEMS

Steroid abusers who stop abusing often deal with atrophied muscle mass which converts to fat. Many former abusers report a problem managing weight gain,
or losing excess flab and soft tissue that occurs when the muscles are no longer being fed high doses of testosterone. Excess body weight contributes to
a host of long-term problems including the aforementioned cardiovascular issues.

NEUROLOGICAL ISSUES

Studies have confirmed steroid abuse has a long term effect on the neurological pathways of the brain. Depending on the age when steroids are taken,
the effects can sometimes be permanent. For example, abusing steroids in the teenage years of development has shown to affect the brain’s ability to
properly produce serotonin, the enzyme tied with our sense of well-being. This tampering with serotonin can lead to permanent increases in depression and aggression.
In women, this hormonal tampering can also lead to significantly lower levels of progesterone and estrogen, potentially upsetting the delicate balance
of female chemistry and inducing severe anxiety and depression.

SUMMARY

Though proponents of steroid use may praise the benefits that steroids can have on muscular development and improved athletic performance,
any properly informed individual will be hard pressed to deny the possibilities of detrimental side-effects.

Coming back to the reasons for steroid abuse, it is understandable that steroid abuse is so rampant considering the powerful influence of the human need to
achieve or simply feel better about one’s self.

However, even when considering that no side effect is guaranteed to occur, the overwhelming evidence of dangerous side effects should be enough to persuade most
people to steer clear of anabolic steroids. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Currently, over 2 million people reportedly abuse steroids in the United States.

Rachel

Haily,

First I want to second Rachel Rose's comments on steroids and extra testosterone, it can be extremely dangerous so really look into it very carefully before going that root. That said, I don't think even if you take those steps it is going to change your urge to crossdress. At you age I had a very high testosterone level and it was actually when I most realized that this desire wasn't going away and I could live with it or like Rachel said you can fight it. I tried fighting it for years because I couldn't deal with the social stigma. So have a length of time crosdressing I would get mad and say it wasn't right and I purged my clothing/make-up/you name it only to eventually come back to it. I am not saying you couldn't be stronger than my willpower but I am saying there are 2500 ladies on this site and would bet you that half have done exactly what I just said I did.

Why us, why are we "different"? Maybe its genetic make-up, maybe it is a social response subconsciously, or maybe God just made us this way and we are a new evolution of person that has both male and female traits. Any of those or all of those could be true. I understand how hard it is and the feelings of I don't want to be different, I want to be "normal".

Hailey, you are normal... it is the world that hasn't caught up. Be careful and think seriously before putting anything into your body. It may be a mental placebo for a while but in the long run my guess would be it won't change who you are and could do a lot more harm than good.

If you want to talk more drop me a message!

Codille Benton

Thank you guys. This definitely gives me a lot to think about.

Dear Haily,you sound very distressed in your post and I think you might want to talk to your doctor who will probably refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist who will sit with you and listen to your feelings and maybe help explain what's going on to you. Trust me it helps even just to get it off your chest, I know it did for me anyway.I promise no one will laugh at you or point their finger at you and call you names. Do't worry you're not weird or a freak, you're not sick or mentally ill or anything, this is perfectly normal behaviour.Now please take my advice and talk to somebody and please message me back and let me know how it goes,okay.I'll be waiting to hear from you your friend, Heather.

Hi Haily. my name is Charee'

I am 55 years old.

I have attempted suicide 4 times and obviously suck at it lol I'm grateful for that too.

I used about 700 cdn dollars per week of cocaine, along with a 26 of tequila gold, a quarter oz per day and what ever else I could get my hands on during that decade of time. I was a touring musician then. and a closet dresser. I kept a few little things in my suitcase and even my wife, the lead singer, didn't know about my dressing when she was out during the day.

I have tried Dr's Psychiatrists, and so on to find one that would at least agree with me that I must be a freak, sick, bad, wrong, flawed...none would. I've done anti depressants and emptied my fully loaded closet several times throwing thousands of dollars into the second hand stores where I bought them too.

I first knew I hated loving being dressed in my 20's, my first attempt to rid myself of this hidious behaviour as I thought of it then. I don't want to sound like that proverbial broken record in this so I'm doing my best to word things carefully and as clearly as I am able.

The part of our brain that chooses our eye colour also chooses the sexual desires whether we are sexually attracted to male, female. both neither and so on. It's not a choice really, it's a part of who we are at the cellular and deeper levels; how we are hard wired so to speak.  The chromosomes determine the gender of the body and sometimes the two disagree it seems. There's a movie on netflix called Middle Sexes, it helped me understand a bit better Haily. It really is a love hate relationship hey? sheeesh

So, I was born into a military, religious family in eastern Canada in the military housing projects on the base. Growing up all I witnessed from family, friends  and saw on tv was the cross dresser or trans person was always portrayed as the sex predator, pedophile, monster etc which, I adopted as my belief about myself. That belief has only served to cause me continuous pain and suffering fro the majority of my life. A life wasted on trying to be what made a few others more comfortable, but was killing me in every way possible.

I though that what I believed must be true; then one day, someone asked me why I believed it. I thought about that and came to the conclusion that "we get to choose" what we believe is true about ourselves, others, the world. this is a quote I learned ...

"nothing has meaning except the meaning I give to it" from a Course in Miracles. we can define something but the meaning we place no it is our choice. Your hair is defined as hair, but what your hair "means" to you is different than what your hair "means" to me, make sense?

So, I have been and still am practising shifting the meaning I place on dressing pretty. I really love it, so much so that the hardest thing I do every morning is take off my leggings n tank, which I sleep in, and dawn the ole construction worker duds.

Yes, definitely speak with someone Haily. Most of us are raised with a shame based parenting model. To learn to over come that sense of shame is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. It will effect every area of your life in a very positive way. The difference between shame and guilt is this. Guilt is; "I screwed up, made a mistake"  we can apologize and make right what we screwed up. Shame however, is "I Am the mistake, as a human being I am flawed and defective." and that's a soul wound that requires healing. Over coming my own shame has been one bitchin battle starting at around your age. And it IS doable Haily.

Your a sweet, funny, gentle soul I can tell from your writing; please don't waist 35 years of your life trying to crush yourself into the box that makes a few others more comfy with their beliefs. Choose to love yourself now, just as the perfect soul you are Haily.

the bottom line is...YOU choose what dressing means for you, and I hope you choose to believe something that feels good and life giving to you about it, not like I did, and so many others on here have done for almost a life time...

Coming to grips with this aspect of myself has opened my eyes to just how deep our core beliefs can affect our lives and the lives of those around us ongoing for generations. My dad and uncle were closet dressers. both took their own life rather than change their belief. Now, remember, dad was a soldier and those that was a long time ago, I'm 55 remember so things were a bit tougher then. When I told my Dad he said, well, if I come visit and you're wearing a skirt we'll go shopping, if you're wearing jeans we'll go fishin...

Now, Honestly Haily, since I decided to dress pretty more often than not and I have come out to pretty much everyone I know (the people that mind, don't matter-the people that matter, don't mind) I have experienced (one) rejection. I have told hundreds of people and some were/are total strangers. What I'm saying is this. The story I told myself (the meaning) of what it means for me to be a cross dresser caused huge suffering for me.  By changing the belief I have carried, the story I have told myself of what it means, I have experienced sooooo much more acceptance, support, even encouragement. I found that when I judged myself harshly, so did others but when I accepted myself and jsut enjoyed my being cute, pretty and funny, other did that too. The odd one looks sideways and I don't intentionally put myself in places where it's sure to stir the shit so to speak.

I exercise good self care and allow myself to finally be me, not completely publicly and openly, but that's coming this year!! My goal hahaha to wear what I want to town hahaha and truy honour my authentic self.

I believe you will find a much easier path moving towards self acceptance, self love  and shifting the beliefs inside tahn choosing the path of resistance and self criticism.

I hope this has helped you find a bit more clarity Haily and I support your choises with heart felt compassion and love from one person to another.

Thankyou for sharing

Namaste'

Charee'

Dear Haily,

I'm a 50yr old gym rat, health aficionado who has used Testosterone, HGH, HcG, Anabolic steroids and pro hormones for weightlifting and body development my whole life. None of the mentioned items will stop you from loving what you love. I am as male as a man can be, and I still LOVE to wear lingerie, always have and always will I assume?  I believe the key to everything in life is moderation, enjoy what you do with moderation. Think with your head, if it is dangerous to have stashed garments around your house don't do it. Wait till you have a place of your own. If you do have a place of your own, make sure you keep your things in a safe place if you do not want it known. Everyone deserves the right to enjoy simple pleasures in life even if it's wearing something pretty and silky.  Level headed thinking and precautions enable you to enjoy life and the things you love. Just don't let your love for anything over rule your common sense until you have had the chance to thinks things out in life.  Changing who you are chemically is never good for you as I have found out in the long run of life.

You're 19, life is good friend. Enjoy what you enjoy

Hey Girl, here's a piece I think may help you some...

You tube, Teal Swan. Gender..it's a clearer understanding from a spiritual and universal, aspect

We here at CDH are all concerned and we are here to do everything we possibly can to support you through this my friend. I do look forward to hearing from you again Hailey,

Until then

Namaste'

n hugs dear soul

Charee'