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I'm looking forward to making new friends and relationships. I've felt so alone for such a long time now. I've never known anyone like me or have ever had anyone to talk to. Ever since being young I knew I felt like a girl and wanted to dress like one. When I was caught at home with my 1st dress and heels my parents acted like I killed someone and I was sick and every other name in the book. I thought your parents were supposed to love you no matter what. Nope, when I tried to explain how I felt I didn't get 2 words out before I was told NO!!! This is not going on in our house, you are a boy, your not a girl and every other bad name they could come up with. Told me if we ever catch you doing this again your out of family, house and totally cut off from everyone and we will tell everyone you know. Then made me watch them burn my dress and heels in fireplace. I was so sad and depressed for a very long time. Thought maybe something was wrong with me, didn't know anyone like me or have anyone to talk to. Long time went by trying to sneek being girly when I could. Tried to stop thinking like that but never could. I just wanted to be me. Well fast forward, meet a girl, we get married, I love her so much but still never stopped wanting to be feminine. 1 day she was wearing a pair of thigh highs, says she can't wait to get them off because she doesn't like em. I thought hmmm, well I don't know why I think there great, I wish I could wear em. She takes em off and says here ya go babe you won't like em. Hmmm, well I'll see. I went and shaved my legs,put em on and it was so great!!! Well 1 thing led to another and before I knew it, finally Nikki was out!!!! I loved it so much, I thought finally someone who understands and accepts me for me. 1 day I guess she was over it and says ok, its either me or the dressing, damn!!! I didn't want to lose her so back to just being a male all the time. I wouldn't dress and be Nikki all the time, just when I could and was happy with that. But now it was back to not being able to be me, sad and depressed again. Well I guess she could see it and told me ok you can dress but I don't wanna see or hear about it. Ok, well at least I can be me again. That was ok for awhile but I could see it bothered her. Damn damn damn!!!! Bye bye again Nikki, I'll just have to stop cause I don't wanna lose her. Few years go by, I can't stop how I feel, I don't want to be sad anymore. Last few months I've started dressing again, I haven't told or said anything to her but I know she knows. I'm always shaved and smooth now and just pretty fem, or as I can be. I wish so bad she would accept or be ok with me. Other than being my wife she's my only friend to. My family doesn't talk to me anymore because of other ignorant things, I don't know of anyone around me that would accept me as Nikki. Even though I do get to dress I really wish I had some friends I could dress around or go out with and have fun and stuff. I've been out a handful of times by myself and was great, even had a few guys flirt with me which made me feel so nice but would still be great to have some girlfriends to hang with,talk to. I'd even really love to go out with my wife and have some girl time and fun. Sorry if this is to long, just is nice to be able to get all of this out. Other than wife I have never said any of this to anyone. Thank you all so much! Xoxoxoxo!!!!!!!
You have come to the right place to know you are not alone and a big welcome to CDH hugs to you
Thank you so much😚 just to read that means the world to me. Happy holidays
Welcome, Nikki
Your's is a road familiar to many of us. Here you will find much love and acceptance. I look forward to getting to know you.
Jillian
Hello Nikki welcome with us
Catherine
Welcome to CDH, Nikki. You have come to the right place. You are not alone, as there are so many of us ladies in our special community. All of the ladies in here are lovely, and I hope you love your time with us.
Hugs
Amanda 💋
Hi Nikki, you'll find lots of new friends here and if you look around the site you might even find friends close to where you are.
There will be some in a similar position, some even deeper in the closet and some very much out and about. Welcome to our happy place.
Thanks for sharing, Nikki. You've come a long and difficult way.
Best wishes for the New Year!
Hi Nikki, welcome to CDH . You'll find that there are a lot of awesome people here with similar experience with being caught either by their parents or wives with good and bad out comes. My first marriage ended with the discovery of my dressing and now my second wife found out by accident after 8 yrs of marriage and is ok with it and helps me pick out different things on line . The only thing she was disappointed about was the fact that I had kept my dressing a secret for so long in my life and wished she new sooner. Would love to chat with you more some time. Take care
Lynn
2016_introductions new members: Anonymous original post:
I’m looking forward to making new friends and relationships. I’ve felt so alone for such a long time now. I’ve never known anyone like me or have ever had anyone to talk to. Ever since being young I knew I felt like a girl and wanted to dress like one. When I was caught at home with my 1st dress and heels my parents acted like I killed someone and I was sick and every other name in the book. I thought your parents were supposed to love you no matter what. Nope, when I tried to explain how I felt I didn’t get 2 words out before I was told NO!!! This is not going on in our house, you are a boy, your not a girl and every other bad name they could come up with. Told me if we ever catch you doing this again your out of family, house and totally cut off from everyone and we will tell everyone you know. Then made me watch them burn my dress and heels in fireplace. I was so sad and depressed for a very long time. Thought maybe something was wrong with me, didn’t know anyone like me or have anyone to talk to. Long time went by trying to sneek being girly when I could. Tried to stop thinking like that but never could. I just wanted to be me. Well fast forward, meet a girl, we get married, I love her so much but still never stopped wanting to be feminine. 1 day she was wearing a pair of thigh highs, says she can’t wait to get them off because she doesn’t like em. I thought hmmm, well I don’t know why I think there great, I wish I could wear em. She takes em off and says here ya go babe you won’t like em. Hmmm, well I’ll see. I went and shaved my legs,put em on and it was so great!!! Well 1 thing led to another and before I knew it, finally Nikki was out!!!! I loved it so much, I thought finally someone who understands and accepts me for me. 1 day I guess she was over it and says ok, its either me or the dressing, damn!!! I didn’t want to lose her so back to just being a male all the time. I wouldn’t dress and be Nikki all the time, just when I could and was happy with that. But now it was back to not being able to be me, sad and depressed again. Well I guess she could see it and told me ok you can dress but I don’t wanna see or hear about it. Ok, well at least I can be me again. That was ok for awhile but I could see it bothered her. Damn damn damn!!!! Bye bye again Nikki, I’ll just have to stop cause I don’t wanna lose her. Few years go by, I can’t stop how I feel, I don’t want to be sad anymore. Last few months I’ve started dressing again, I haven’t told or said anything to her but I know she knows. I’m always shaved and smooth now and just pretty fem, or as I can be. I wish so bad she would accept or be ok with me. Other than being my wife she’s my only friend to. My family doesn’t talk to me anymore because of other ignorant things, I don’t know of anyone around me that would accept me as Nikki. Even though I do get to dress I really wish I had some friends I could dress around or go out with and have fun and stuff. I’ve been out a handful of times by myself and was great, even had a few guys flirt with me which made me feel so nice but would still be great to have some girlfriends to hang with,talk to. I’d even really love to go out with my wife and have some girl time and fun. Sorry if this is to long, just is nice to be able to get all of this out. Other than wife I have never said any of this to anyone. Thank you all so much! Xoxoxoxo!!!!!!!
