Hey girlfriends Ronda here

Thanks for sharing Ronda! WE all struggle with the feelings that will NEVER go away and in fact ned to grow stringer over time despite our best intentions. IT is something that you just have to feel your way through. Some marriage survive it and some don'. I don;t know which yours will be but I pray that it is the outcome that is best for you and your family!

Cyn

Hi Ronda,

I am a therapist specialising in PTSD, but I also happen to be a crossdresser, and I have a marvellous marriage to a CD-friendly wife.

The following worked for me:

0.  Make sure that your wife understands that a significant percentage of the male population are cross dressers, and you were born like that and nothing is going to change it so the both of you have to make the most of it.

1.  Go through all your wardrobe items with your wife.  Throw out everything she hates. Only buy stuff she likes from now on.

2. Have a schedule for CDing that she is happy with.  For examle, I crossdress usually from 10pm to 10 am (I work at home), except on Sunday nights when I dress at 6pm.

3. Discuss clothes together.  For example, we watch lots of costume dramas and tell each other which femme clothes we like and what we don't like.  Then we go window shopping and tell each other what we would like to wear if we had unlimited money for clothes!

4. Make it OK for her to make fun of you when you are dressed.   It relieves any tension.

Vicky

Hi Ronda my life like yous was married 38 yrs wife died cancer have 4 kids she knew I was a CD she worked with me we had a great marriage I miss her I never dressed in front of kids and I never was with a man my wife was worried about that and I only loved her. wish i could only say sit with your wife talk to her . when having relations satisfy her in any way she requires.
go out of your way to please her, help with all the chores cleaning. ,ironing, laundry, cooking, ask her to teach you if you don't know how , be her best GF as well as a husband . let her advise you how to be a woman to dress put on makeup do nails together [toes] dont act like a sissy. be a woman of your age , not a slut. you are always you wearing a dress or pants you are not a pervert. you just have someone inside you screaming to come out. I hope it works for you RONDA, Do your best to work it out with her let her be part of your RONDA side. she gets a husband and a great girlfriend. keep everything PVT between your selves. anything I can do to help would be my honor to chat with you have so much more of my life to tell you about hugs to you and your wife all my best Jennifer1cd

Hi Ronda, and welcome to CDH. It's nice to meet you. You'll find a gaggle o' great gals here, ready to offer you help, advice, and friendship. I've got a very open-minded wife who accepts everything, and I've still found great tips and help here. I'm sure you will as well.

Also, welcome to Vicky and Jennifer, as I see your posts here are the first for each of you!

Hey Ronda I can relate to your story so much because it so very similar to my own.I started dressing at 9 and went through the periods of time away from it but as I've gotten older my urge to dress up and to feminize has really become an issue. I'm 43 yrs old with 4 children, my first child's mother has no idea but my 2 middle children's mother is the one that really got me into taking the steps to dress up and my youngest child's mother, well at first she accepted it and went as far as choosing outfits for me and taught me how to use makeup. We were great girlfriend until she began to feel as though she had lost her boyfriend. We began to engage in role reversal and that was when I began to struggled between being the boyfriend she deserved and the crossdresser that I so desperately felt the urge to be. Slowly we began to drift apart until finally it was over. I don't know how strong your urges are or to what extent you want to go but maybe be mindful of how your wife feels and maybe continue to explain your feeling to her in as much detail as possible. Hopefully then you can both come to a solution that is doesn't end in heartbreak. I wish only the best for you and your family.

Ronda,
I have been married to my wife for 12 years, and only came out to her as bi-gender a few months ago. The hardest part was telling her, the slightly easier party was making her understand. Being that she already knows I would write her a letter (E-mail even) explaining you whole life and the feelings and things you have struggled with your whole life from childhood until now. Be detailed, and be sure to express the feelings you still have for her and your fears of losing her and your child. I posted an earlier draft of the letter I gave my wife a few days after coming out to her on here titled "An Unsent Letter to My Wife". Just remember to be honest with her, she's probably is more confused than you, and will need help understanding. I know every relationship is different, but mine has never been better because we are both laid bare to each other. We are truly lovers, best friends, and girlfriends again/now.
Good luck,
Sarah

Hello Rhonda,

Wow, thanks for opening up. The only thing I will interject, & forgive me if its been said already, is give your wife tome. This is a change for her also. I hope that all works out for the best.

Cookie. 🙂

2016_introductions new members: Ronda original post: 

Hi ladies, I’m a 40 yr old cd and been dressing since I was 12. I started wearing my moms dresses and pantyhose and liked it but didn’t know why. I stopped for a while (puberty) and started again with a girlfriend in high school, I shaved my legs and she kinda liked it,then I started wearing her panties and we both liked it. Needless to say we broke up and I hid my feelings,me and that gf dated 4yrs. I went on about my life dating but every time I was around female clothing I would dress up, like in my gfs or my roommates gfs, whatever that was clean and would fit,lol. 10 years later I met a beautiful girl and thought those feelings were gone but 10 years more they are back and more extreme than ever. I’m married 9 yrs now with a 7 year old. I love my family but I dress  now more than ever! I love panties bras makeup  pink blingy sandals shaved legs painted toenails ankle jewelry any jewelry…anything girly. Which is far from anything that anyone would relate to me. I’m having a hard time trying to figure all of this out and so is my wife. We don’t talk about it anymore,ahhhh argghhhh it’s tough. Not sure what to do, I don’t want to lose my wife and baby. Need prayers and friends. Love y’all…ahhh I do feel better now for sharing

Hey Sarah, thanks for your kind words. We’re doing ok now just a struggle. Thanks for being a friend

Hey Michelle, thanks for your warm and sweet words. We’re doing ok now and I hope and pray the best for you as well

Hey Vicky, thanks for your reply and ideas. My wife has known for 2 years and doesn’t want anything to do with my cd issues still, which I understand because it’s not the man she married. Prayers are what I need but I will still try your suggestions

Hey Skippy, thanks for your advice. Prayers are what I need right now girlfriend. Thanks for being a friend