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I just recently joined the crossdressing world. I remember as a child wishing I was a girl and at about 10, I tried on some of my mom's clothing. It was a tennis outfit of some kind. I really liked wearing it. I even tried putting on makeup that day but of course it didn't look very good. I was alone in the house so I pranced around the house for a little while. Later, I decided to change back to my boy clothes and it's a good nothing because shortly after, the doorbell rang and it was my sister's boyfriend. I was really relieved that I changed back when I did! The years past and just recently, at age 51 and after 21 years of marriage, the feelings started coming back to crossdress. When I was alone, I tried on some of my wife's panty hose and loved the feeling. A few weeks later, I had an uncontrollable urge to tell my wife. When I did, she was devastated. We are separated now and I am living in a hotel room. She absolutely will not stay in a marriage with someone that crossdresses. It is really hard dealing with this. We are most likely getting a divorce. I still don't know if I am just a crossdresser or a teams in some fashion. I am working with a counselor to deal with the issues I am going through, including helping me find out who I really am. I am also attending support groups at a local gender identity center and that has helped too. I feel extremely guilty for destroying our life and our marriage. We were extremely inter-linked in our lives and now all that is getting ripped apart. However since I have been alone in the hotel I have at least been able to purchase some heels, stockings and a gaff that I have enjoyed wearing in the room. I have not purchased any other clothing but hope to soon.
The word teams should have been trans. Spellcheck at it again.
Hi Jenny,
Sorry to hear about your marriage troubles. Gender roles are drilled in to us from birth. It can be very hard for some people to "unlearn" this programming.
This site has lots of girls, who can help you get through this. I would suggest coming in to the chat room in the evening to talk to the girls there.
Welcome to CDH!
Steph.
Welcome Jenny,
You came to the right place for support as you go through this and as tough as it might be, we do have wives and girlfriends on the sight. I would even be willing to talk to her after I get a better grasp on you particular situation. We are here for friendship and support. Let me or ANY of the other ladies know how we can help.
Codille Benton
Managing Ambassador
Thanks for your support. It really helps. I am not sure if I can do the chat or not since I only have the basic account currently.
Hi Jenny,
Public chat is free to all members. It's private chat which requires a monthly membership fee.
Steph
Great! I will try the chat tonight. Thanks!
Jenny
Hi Jenny.
You have come to the right place by joining this site. All of the ladies here are so supportive and lovely, and I hope that you will be truly happy, in whichever way things turn out.
Hope to see you in the chat room sometime soon.
Amanda
Hi Jenny, and welcome! So sorry to hear of the troubles between you and your wife, that's a tough situation for sure. I hate to hear you had to move out into a hotel alone, but just know that since you've linked up on this site there is an entire sorority of ladies here you can talk to at anytime! I wish you luck in your journey to discover yourself, and hope that in time things between you and your wife will work themselves out!
<3 Lauren
Thanks again for the support. I wish I found this site three weeks ago.
Hi Jenny! Your story is so close to mine. All I want to do is dress. A full time job but this is me. 💜👗💄🍷💅💋🎀
Hello Jenny and welcome to CDH. Here you will certainly find the support you didn't find at home.
I think you have to be careful about laying all of the blame for "destroying" your lives on yourself. For her to react so strongly and to expect you to move out, already talking about a divorce, suggests that you were perhaps not as "inter-linked" as you thought. Hopefully with some time to adjust and reconsider she might be willing to talk about your needs. Twenty one years of marriage is a lot for her to be willing to abandon so quickly. Experience has shown that for some girls, their coming out as a CD has just been an excuse used by a spouse or partner to justify a decision to leave, laying the blame entirely on the CD rather than it being at least an equal thing.
I wish you well and look forward to hearing how things go for you. You will always have support and understanding here.
Jenny,
I know how you feel. My ex left me in 2004 and i am 51 now.. exploring my CD vs TS/TG feelings. Los f us in the same boat. t least you are not alone cine you have us! PM me any time if you need to talk or come in the chatroom east coast evenings!
Hello Jenny welcome with us
Catherine
