Hiding who I really am!

Don't be hard on yourself Sandy. Not everyone goes charging into battle with no thought or reserves.

If your workmates have such a discussion again you don't have to come out and say "we". You could suggest that you've been wondering about it as well and then put forward some of the arguments, like genetics, gender dysphoria and so on.

As for being gay and it being hard when your workmates lust after women, I frequently look at women and admire what they are wearing and how they are dressed, with no thoughts of wanting to have sex with them. Look at the women and smile as you imagine yourself wearing what they are wearing.

Sometimes hiding is necessary but that doesn't mean you can't embrace the inner you.

🙂

Well said Jane! Sandy I too have sat silently at times when i should at the least have expressed tat we should treat ALL people with kindness even if we don't understand all they are feeling!

Sandy I understand completely what you're up against. Jane expressed my feelings better than I can. Where I worked during my career I knew two people who transitioned. The first started just before her retirement and the second took a job transfer to another city which I still don't understand. She still interfaced with us so I met her a couple times after her change. I found that I had to defer in the conversations because I knew too much. Times are changing little by little. People may never understand us but they are becoming more accepting.

Very true about hiding, I've been doing it my whole life. After all the purging and anger I finally accepted who I really am. It's the only way you will have peace with your true inner self.

Dear Sandy, I understand your feelings completely, I worked in the steelworks in Ontario and some of the comments I heard just made me laugh. One big old guy said one day there's no pardon my french but f------ queers working here when I was standing beside him. I wanted to burst out laughing but couldn't, just the thought, there's 7000 people work for this company and this chimp doesn't think one of them might possibly be different!! Actually I apologize to chimps everywhere for putting him in with you, chimps are way smarter. I agree with Jane, of course when the boys went out for a beer it was usually to the strippers and I would just sit back and admire the female form and wish I looked as good as her. Turn their derogatory remarks around and make it work for you, besides with being CD or TG  you've got to have a thick skin. Take care  Heather.

2016_personal stories: Sandy original post: 

I work and live in an environment where if I came out as transgender it wouldn’t be good and I wouldn’t have the relationships and friendships with the people that I am around on a daily basis. I was in a vehicle with some other guys and they were listening to NPR and they were talking about transgender folks and using the bathroom and my co-workers talked about how they don’t understand how someone can be born one sex and want or think they are the opposite.

Instead of speaking up for my people and my inner feelings about how I feel I am a woman and not a man, I didn’t say a word and was just quiet about it and I felt so terrible that I was that way instead of saying ‘We don’t feel like we are the opposite sex, we know we are and were born into the wrong body’. Yet I didn’t want to have things be akward and I am such a chicken to say anything to anyone.

I live in a housing type where I have a roommate in the same room and I cannot go to bed in panties and a bra or things that I know I should be wearing, instead I have hide who and what I am. It sucks but it has to be that way right now. I am also gay so that sucks as well when guys are talking about hot females, I just look at the females and wish I was them rather than wanting to have sex with them.