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How Do You Personally Describe Your Gender?

50 Posts
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Posts: 871
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Bree,

You  have highlighted several interesting points with which I agree.  I am in a similar position and my own thoughts and feelings do align closely with yours.   Though I do not describe myself as two spirited, I do understood how such a description is apt in our cases.

Thanx for sharing.

MacKenzie Alexandra

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Posts: 14
(@betti302)
Active Member     Buffalo, New York, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

I know I was meant to be a women,  I love doing my nails and makeup.  I love feeling soft and silky.  I love wearing bra's, panties and nylons.  I get excited buying dresses and new tops to wear.  Unfortunately I have only been out a few times dressed and would love to go shopping dressed as the women.

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Posts: 43
Lady
(@rednails)
Trusted Member     United Kingdom
Joined: 8 years ago

Brilliant question and one that has made me think really hard. If i had to describe my self it would be a crossdresser withthought to go further but still working on how far and how fast. I have limitations from partner so cant go all the way even if i wanted.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi girls, nice chat going on here. I do think the term "gender fluid" could describe many of us. Most of the time I live and express in masculine ways, after all, I've had a lifetime of practice. But there are times, more and more frequently, when Bobbi is such a powerful need that she demands to see the light of day. Once I came to fully accept that I am both man and woman and came out to my significant other I've been granted the heavenly opportunity to refine and develop my feminine side. It is truly the best time of my life and I've never felt so happy. I am trans-gendered and just accept it for what it is.

Bobbi

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Posts: 5134
Admin
Topic starter
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Thank you all so much for your insights! This has really helped me explore my gender in ways that are concrete and make sense to me. Woman and man never felt right to me, nor male or female. It's been hard to define because of that. I even figured out some pronouns finally. Nothing has ever felt right. I've gone by he, she, and they. I think xe/hir suits me well. It makes me feel like my own person. They pronouns made me feel...undefined and genderless. I'm full of gender. It's just my  own and outside what the majority of people know in the US.

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Posts: 109
Duchess
(@stefaniemaybe)
Estimable Member     Alabama, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

for me

I m a male crossdresser

i love my maleness and my love to wear sexy clothes

i love pretty feet and sexy toes and nail polish

i llove sexy lingerie

i m happy as a man that loves sexy styles that male wardrobes dont have

now that i wear womens jeans they fir better feel better and make me feel better

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Posts: 18
Lady
(@wingnut19)
Eminent Member     Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
Joined: 7 years ago

I started being a part-time closet cross-dresser last year, and now I notice that my Lindy side is taking over more all the time.  I will even dress at work this winter; women slacks and jeans.  What label do I put on myself, I don't know.  At this moment, I describe my gender as being in a state of constant confusion, and change.    Hugs, Lindy

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Posts: 52
Lady
(@zoe_k)
Trusted Member     Frankfurt, Hessen, Germany
Joined: 7 years ago

This is such a great question!

Like many of the ladies here, I am not a big fan of labels since they become just another box to be put in.  Also, we end up having to answer (somehow) for whatever views seem to be common or dominant in that box.  Each of us has our own special feeling and understanding of our gender, even if you're still figuring it all out.

I am a crossdresser who lives my life in the outside world as a man, but even then I have a very strong anima so she shines through without me even realizing it.   As time has gone on and I have taken gender identity tests, journaled about it all, and observed myself, I realize I am gender fluid and have been I have been all of my life.  This is not something I share with anyone but my wife and a few very close friends because I really don't feel like having to explain myself to anyone.  Anyone who is even halfway observant would probably guess it anyway so no need to bother.

And the fluidity is not predictable nor do I know how long it will last or what my gender balance will be.   Sometimes in  80/20 masculine and I feel very butch...while wearing the silky panties I put on that morning.  Sometimes its 80/20 feminine and I'm stuck wearing suit and aching to put on a dress, do my makeup, shave my legs, put on a wig and heels (plus jewelry which I buy when I'm feeling girly).  Sometimes its 70/30 or 60/40 either way and sometimes its 50/50 and it can last for hours or days.  In many cases, especially at work, I will shift between dominant masculine/feminine based on whatever is wisest in the situation.  In the best of cases, the man and woman in me are integrated and I feel like I can see the world in ways that others around me cannot.

And this is the part that is so important to me and is far beyond whatever I am wearing or how I am presenting; its about how I feel and think in those moments; the emotional and mental aspects that make me feel so alive - so much like me! It gives me a perspective that allows me to see solutions and paths where others don't - its almost like a superpower!

As time goes on, I find myself less interested in trying to cover up how I feel in any of these situations because its me!  Thankfully, I have a very loving and understanding wife who also sees these shifts in me and loves me wherever my gender flows.

Regardless of whether I feel like a woman or man, I remain attracted to women and specifically my wife.  Its funny though how it manifests when we are together.  Often in the morning I feel very womanly so I snuggle close to her and she tells me it feels very much like a "lesbian love embrace."  She loves it so its great.  When I'm feeling like a man, well...you know what that dynamic is like!  😉  And even when I am dressed to the nines, I am still attracted to her.  Everyone is different and beautiful in their own way so your experience and feelings will be yours and yours alone.

I stopped spending time trying to figure out the "why" of my gender and spend a lot more time now just being me and enjoying the flow of it all.

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Posts: 182
Duchess
(@melissa-la-quinta)
Estimable Member     Palm Desert, California, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Zoe:  Wow, you nailed so much of what I've been experiencing but could not quite articulate. One thing that really hit home for me is how loving and accepting your wife is. My wife tolerates my crossdressing but had decided she won't sleep with me while I'm wearing my femme sleepwear (which I do every night). I would LOVE to be able to cuddle and snuggle with her when I'm in bed and in my womanly persona. Sigh...

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Posts: 595
Ambassador
(@marianne65)
Honorable Member     Uppsala, Uppland, Sweden
Joined: 7 years ago

I have dressed most of my life. Ever since praying to God to let me wake up as a girl in my evening prayers at age six or seven, I have repeatedly encountered situations in my life there I felt I would be better of as a woman. Now at age 52 , I have let Marianne take conciderably space in my life and tend to call myself two-spirited as I'm usually equally comfortable in both roles. Recently as I filled in a form,and there were more alternatives than male or female I chose both.

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Posts: 86
(@cyndigrrl)
Estimable Member     Metropolis, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

I'm a cultural anthropologist, so forgive me if this is a bit "nerdy."  There is a difference between sex and gender, which are not the same thing as many mistakenly think.  Sex is a biological condition predicated on your reproductive organs.  It's the physical "equipment" you are born with, so to speak.  This is what those of us who want to be a different sex seek to change through surgery and "transitioning."

Gender is a social category, that really has nothing to do with your sex.  You don't need any surgery to change your gender.  Gender is how you present yourself socially, and how others perceive you socially.  In the West, we have been conditioned for thousands of years to believe that there are only two genders, depending on which sex you were born.  This is totally false.  There are as many genders as a society is willing to recognize, either formally or informally.  That is why it is not uncommon for other cultures to have three, four, or more genders, each of which are accepted by that society as being a perfectly normal gender.

For myself, my sex is male (until further notice), but my gender is very much feminine.  When asked for gender, I always put down female, unless they are specifically asking about my sex for some reason (for instance, I'm getting a medical procedure).  Socially, I consider myself a woman, and want to be perceived as such, so that is my gender.

Anyway, that's the academic answer to your question at least.

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Posts: 86
(@cyndigrrl)
Estimable Member     Metropolis, Illinois, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Sorry, screwed up my explanation slightly.  When I say "transitioning" I mean in the sense of biologically transitioning to another sex.  You can transition without surgery to be more perceived to be a certain gender.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Like Marianne, I identify as someone with a two-spirit gender.  Sometimes male, sometimes female, I enjoy expressing both sides of my personality.  I'm fortunate in that I have a loving an supportive wife, so I get to express both genders socially, a situation that is quite fulfilling.

Hugs,

Sally

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Posts: 5134
Admin
Topic starter
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

For me its complicated. Inside I am two and one. My goal is finding my center and accepting who I am. I would love to be a woman full time but think I would miss some things. I think socially we were all socialized and raised as males. The feminine part for me is learned and I cherish my feminine side. I think in the spectrum I fall in the middle and find clarity in that. I think for me it's integration not in the binary male and female. For me I feel like a third sex, physically male mentally more female and empathic. I'll never fully be a woman and never fit male stereo types. For me "none of the above" because in my heart I'm both. Although with my wife I feel a bit like a lesbian with similar mixture of male and female but with male hormones and genetalia. I'm ok being the "third" sex. I just strive to be who I am and overcome male stereotypes and roles.

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Posts: 50
Lady
(@kissing-sunlight)
Trusted Member     Las Vegas, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

On the sign-in sheet at the transgender support group that I attend, I have been putting down "gender non-conforming".  This is still new to me.  I don't know how far I want to take it.  Lately, I have been comfortable with the idea of having breast implants.  Mostly, I like to keep it simple and say "transgender".  Occasionally, I have someone quibble with me using that term since I am only crossdressing and not transitioning.

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