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i feel like i live in two worlds

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Posts: 4
 J R
Lady
Topic starter
(@spec)
Active Member     Camden Wyoming, Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

i feel like i live in two worlds one where i live as a man and the other where i want to pass as a woman not be one i am happy as a man but some days i want to look pretty my wife knows i told her when were dating that was bout 15 years a go she is cool with it i recently told her i was to dress as pass as a woman she told me she already knew she was waiting for mt to tell her any way i feel there so no support for people like me where i feel like one day i want to dress as a woman and another a man but i want to do it on my terms when i feel like it but i got to be carful these days with the was people feel about things i feel for the way the LGBTIQ community  is treated but i also here that people like me are not welcomed there my wife is bisexual but that does not play any part in our marriage but it helps because she understands that there is more to me than just being a mans man in my world it is two extremes one where l like cars trains videogames comics sci-fi and live action role play LARP where i play a pirate assassin  and there it the other me where i still have not pick out an female name yet where i like skirts heels makeup dresses hair as a man my wardrobe is limited to sneakers pants and t-shirts i wish i could come out in the open but i will not because i see and here the way people comment about that stuff and i dont want my mother to know because she will never understand because i hear her comments about other family members are living in sin she is already unhappy with me because i told her i dont believe in what she believes in  any way that's it for now  

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Posts: 677
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

I'm a man in a dress. If I'm going out in the wild, I try and pass. I'll dress smart and not "typically tranny"... I've been presenting as female for over 2 weeks now, with a few hours break for various reasons. I'm basically living as Cerys, but I don't want to be female. Cerys is my mask. 
My male wardrobe is jeans and shirts. Probably 5 pairs of jeans and less than a dozen shirts. My Cerys wardrobe is HUGE. 200+ skirts, dozens of dresses.
I find, here in the UK at least, the LGBTQI+ community are fine with us. I have many gay and trans friends. I'm often at functions with them. We may not truly be part of the community, but they see us as supporters, and allow us in. 
I'm fully out. In the past only a select few knew about this side of me, but after a close call, and nearly dying, I decided that I wasn't going to hide any more. Everyone has been fine.... Well almost everyone. I lost a couple of FB friends, but that was it. 
You have a supportive wife, this is a lot more than most have. You could go places with your wife, and your mother might never find out. If she does, she might well be OK about it. If she talks about you, what difference does it make? 
I'm out and about most days, as I said, I try to blend in. I don't pass, but from a distance I'm OK. You'd be amazed at how few people care. I've never had a negative comment, or any problems. I live in quite a rough area. No problems at all. I do all the things that I would do in boy mode, including doctors appointments, pharmacy visits, visits to the local tyre bay, visits to motor factors, and trade warehouses.... Never  a problem. People do not care! Even if the notice you, they probably won't say or do anything. I was terrified at first, but these days, I just get on with my life and do what I have to do. Cerys is becoming the new normal. I once went 5 weeks as Cerys. One day, I woke up, showered and dressed back in male clothes. I stayed that way for a few weeks, and then Cerys came out again.
As said, I don't want to be a woman, I want to live as much of my life as I can presenting as a woman.

Cerys

 

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