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Posted on behalf of member Lorrie:
My journey began over 65 years ago. One of the earliest memories was being dressed as a girl for Halloween at the age of 3. It felt right! Then, at about 4, I remember playing a game we called "Husband and Wife" with a little girl. Only in this game, she and I switched roles, so I became the wife. As I got a bit older, I remember being totally fascinated by my mother's clothing, even daring to try on one of her panties.
It was like nothing I had ever felt before. About the age of 8 or so, I found a tube of lipstick in a wooded area where we kids played. I took the tube home and hid it in my dresser. One night, I had this compulsion to put it on, which I did. When I looked in the mirror, I saw this red lipped girl staring back at me! Terrified, I wiped the lipstick off on my pyjama sleeve (OOPS!) and the next day, I was confronted by my parents about it. I told them I must have "accidentally" brushed up against mom's open lipstick. They didn't buy it! BUSTED! And I got the lecture that "boys don't wear lipstick." So, in shame I tried to suppress my urges.
Over the next 30 or so years, I would occasionally find an opportunity to wear some female articles, pantyhose mostly. In 1989, my wife took a two week trip to visit her family in another state. After sending her off, I called in sick for a couple of days and ran to the drugstore and grocery store to buy some cosmetics. I spent a few days dressed in her clothes (she was smaller than me and it was a challenge not to tear her dresses) and makeup. It was glorious! Over the next couple of years, I tried to suppress the urges again. It was awful, thinking I was the only one who did this "abnormal" thing of crossdressing.
In 1994, I discovered Compuserve and found an online community of crossdressers and T-girls. FINALLY, a community that was like me! I was no longer alone. I had the chance to chat and exchange ideas with like-minded girls. I became bold and used our joint credit card (bone-headed!) to buy a bra, panties and heels from Victoria's Secret. Well, I wore the underwear daily for about 2 months and the heels whenever the opportunity arose! Then, the CC statement arrived and I didn't intercept it. I was confronted and accused of having an affair because the underwear was for my "slut girlfriend." I told her, no, I wasn't having an affair and confessed that the items were mine. Well, I should have stuck to the affair!! After being called all sorts of slurs and other indignities, life became horrible.
It took 4 more years until the divorce was done. I had moved out and found an apartment by myself. It was then that Lorrie came alive!!!! I had my own CC and bought dresses, panties, bras, breastforms, heels, wig, jewelry and makeup. For a period of months, I would come home from work in my male mode and transform into Lorrie. I am not passable normally, but for those few months I worked hard to make myself at least not looking like a linebacker in drag! One night, I ventured out into the town fully dressed to the post office to check my PO box. Didn't even get a second glance from anyone. LORRIE LIVES!! I eventually met a lovely and caring woman and got remarried. However, she is not aware of Lorrie and since I was so severely impacted by the issues from my first marriage, I have decided to keep Lorrie in the closet. Crossdresser Heaven has been a blessing for me; allowing me to be her in this setting. Thank all of you who made friends with me. I hope I can be here for a long time! Hugs to you all, Lorrie!
Thanks, Jane!!
Lorrie lots of girls have lived in the closet for a lifetime and still enjoy their dressing time. Have heard similar stories in my support group. I am so sorry about your first wife not being so understanding but you are not alone in that. Hope you find comfort and joy in here to be yourself. Everyone is very understanding and we all have unusual stories to share. Welcome home hon
2016_personal stories: CDH JS original post:
Posted on behalf of member Lorrie:
My journey began over 65 years ago. One of the earliest memories was being dressed as a girl for Halloween at the age of 3. It felt right! Then, at about 4, I remember playing a game we called “Husband and Wife” with a little girl. Only in this game, she and I switched roles, so I became the wife. As I got a bit older, I remember being totally fascinated by my mother’s clothing, even daring to try on one of her panties.
It was like nothing I had ever felt before. About the age of 8 or so, I found a tube of lipstick in a wooded area where we kids played. I took the tube home and hid it in my dresser. One night, I had this compulsion to put it on, which I did. When I looked in the mirror, I saw this red lipped girl staring back at me! Terrified, I wiped the lipstick off on my pyjama sleeve (OOPS!) and the next day, I was confronted by my parents about it. I told them I must have “accidentally” brushed up against mom’s open lipstick. They didn’t buy it! BUSTED! And I got the lecture that “boys don’t wear lipstick.” So, in shame I tried to suppress my urges.
Over the next 30 or so years, I would occasionally find an opportunity to wear some female articles, pantyhose mostly. In 1989, my wife took a two week trip to visit her family in another state. After sending her off, I called in sick for a couple of days and ran to the drugstore and grocery store to buy some cosmetics. I spent a few days dressed in her clothes (she was smaller than me and it was a challenge not to tear her dresses) and makeup. It was glorious! Over the next couple of years, I tried to suppress the urges again. It was awful, thinking I was the only one who did this “abnormal” thing of crossdressing.
In 1994, I discovered Compuserve and found an online community of crossdressers and T-girls. FINALLY, a community that was like me! I was no longer alone. I had the chance to chat and exchange ideas with like-minded girls. I became bold and used our joint credit card (bone-headed!) to buy a bra, panties and heels from Victoria’s Secret. Well, I wore the underwear daily for about 2 months and the heels whenever the opportunity arose! Then, the CC statement arrived and I didn’t intercept it. I was confronted and accused of having an affair because the underwear was for my “slut girlfriend.” I told her, no, I wasn’t having an affair and confessed that the items were mine. Well, I should have stuck to the affair!! After being called all sorts of slurs and other indignities, life became horrible.
It took 4 more years until the divorce was done. I had moved out and found an apartment by myself. It was then that Lorrie came alive!!!! I had my own CC and bought dresses, panties, bras, breastforms, heels, wig, jewelry and makeup. For a period of months, I would come home from work in my male mode and transform into Lorrie. I am not passable normally, but for those few months I worked hard to make myself at least not looking like a linebacker in drag! One night, I ventured out into the town fully dressed to the post office to check my PO box. Didn’t even get a second glance from anyone. LORRIE LIVES!! I eventually met a lovely and caring woman and got remarried. However, she is not aware of Lorrie and since I was so severely impacted by the issues from my first marriage, I have decided to keep Lorrie in the closet. Crossdresser Heaven has been a blessing for me; allowing me to be her in this setting. Thank all of you who made friends with me. I hope I can be here for a long time! Hugs to you all, Lorrie!
