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Hi to one and all 🙂 My name is Rymi and I am a beautiful woman! A late bloomer sort of but so happy inside my soul and know that this decision I have made IS the right one! I see myself as a woman inside and out and shocked when I look into a mirror and see someone different. My journey started at the age of 6 (seems like a common age for most) when I realized that something was different within me, that my body did not match my thoughts, my desires my inner soul. I would look at pictures of women not for the sexual aspect of them but my desire to be like them, look like them. I started to dress in my mom's bras and panties and used washcloths to enhance my breast size and I loved it, I felt alive and this wonderful feeling came over me that was describable. I loved it and couldn't wait til she had to go to work in order to put them on again. Problem was I would have "accidents" and huge guilt would over come me IE: you are a male not a girl, this is wrong but the feels were real and undeniable. I fought all my life between guilt and desire. After my dad passed, an uncle came over with his wife and niece to visit my mom. The niece was around 13 or so and I was 6 but we got along well. Somehow we ended up in the bathroom and she put lipstick on me and told me just how cute I truly looked and how natural it was on my lips. I remember this as if it was yesterday! My first encounter with lipstick and a new beginning for me cause I loved the feeling of it on my lips. I have had 4 failed marriages mainly because I was never happy and I was never big in the manly area, in fact quite small and maintaining was a huge issue for both them and me. It wasn't til just recently that I realized all of this happened cause I was never a male to begin with. My body, my mind all were telling me that these actions were not natural, that I was a woman inside, trapped in this male body forum. That in order to be free I needed to be honest with myself and truly embrace the beauty of being a real woman and love myself first! It wasn't until I had moved to Colorado that I really started to come out. At 58 I started to paint my nails, put on my make-up w/lipstick and go out in public. In the summer with my toes painted usually red or pink I go out in my flip-flops for all to see my feet. This was a turning point for me cause then I started to wear make-up to work, lite make-up but would include mascara, eye shadow and a nude lipstick with my nails painted in either a frost color or clear. I never felt more alive than going to work as Rymi cause I also wore my bra and panties under my work clothes. Now that I'm back in Ohio nothing has really changed for me. Yesterday I went to the store in make up and nails painted a baby blue and felt comfortable. In the past I would go to store in full "evening type make up", nails painted black with one of my low cut peasant tops on and would get comments like "you look good or I love our make up" and that just made me feel awesome inside! Sorry this is so long. I have never been able to openly express or tell my life to anyone before. Thank You for your patience in reading this. I LOVE being a woman and this site rocks. Love to all, Rymi
Rymi,
Welcome to CDH. I can feel for you. I have a hard emotional experience as a teenager that drove me so deep into the closet that I have only recently been able to embrace my feminine persona. I hope that we can provide you the same support here that I have received.
MacKenzie
Hi Rymi. Welcome to our little corner of the internet, and thank you for sharing your story.
2016_introductions new members: Rymi original post:
Hi to one and all My name is Rymi and I am a beautiful woman! A late bloomer sort of but so happy inside my soul and know that this decision I have made IS the right one! I see myself as a woman inside and out and shocked when I look into a mirror and see someone different. My journey started at the age of 6 (seems like a common age for most) when I realized that something was different within me, that my body did not match my thoughts, my desires my inner soul. I would look at pictures of women not for the sexual aspect of them but my desire to be like them, look like them. I started to dress in my mom’s bras and panties and used washcloths to enhance my breast size and I loved it, I felt alive and this wonderful feeling came over me that was describable. I loved it and couldn’t wait til she had to go to work in order to put them on again. Problem was I would have “accidents” and huge guilt would over come me IE: you are a male not a girl, this is wrong but the feels were real and undeniable. I fought all my life between guilt and desire. After my dad passed, an uncle came over with his wife and niece to visit my mom. The niece was around 13 or so and I was 6 but we got along well. Somehow we ended up in the bathroom and she put lipstick on me and told me just how cute I truly looked and how natural it was on my lips. I remember this as if it was yesterday! My first encounter with lipstick and a new beginning for me cause I loved the feeling of it on my lips. I have had 4 failed marriages mainly because I was never happy and I was never big in the manly area, in fact quite small and maintaining was a huge issue for both them and me. It wasn’t til just recently that I realized all of this happened cause I was never a male to begin with. My body, my mind all were telling me that these actions were not natural, that I was a woman inside, trapped in this male body forum. That in order to be free I needed to be honest with myself and truly embrace the beauty of being a real woman and love myself first! It wasn’t until I had moved to Colorado that I really started to come out. At 58 I started to paint my nails, put on my make-up w/lipstick and go out in public. In the summer with my toes painted usually red or pink I go out in my flip-flops for all to see my feet. This was a turning point for me cause then I started to wear make-up to work, lite make-up but would include mascara, eye shadow and a nude lipstick with my nails painted in either a frost color or clear. I never felt more alive than going to work as Rymi cause I also wore my bra and panties under my work clothes. Now that I’m back in Ohio nothing has really changed for me. Yesterday I went to the store in make up and nails painted a baby blue and felt comfortable. In the past I would go to store in full “evening type make up”, nails painted black with one of my low cut peasant tops on and would get comments like “you look good or I love our make up” and that just made me feel awesome inside! Sorry this is so long. I have never been able to openly express or tell my life to anyone before. Thank You for your patience in reading this. I LOVE being a woman and this site rocks. Love to all, Rymi
