Newbie

Hi Everyone

My name is Sandy or at least that is what my female name is. I guess I could be called a Transgender Woman because that is how I honestly feel within my soul. Though I guess I could also be called Gender Fluid which came to light to me in another forum because my emotions go from sometimes really enjoying being a guy and then other times really enjoying being a woman or at least dressing up in female clothes which feels amazing to me and I feel beautiful when I am like that.

I am in no shape or form feminine at all in any sort of way and I am not saying that as a bad thing, I am saying that because I really wish that I was. I came out to my parents when I was 22 and told them that I was gay and I slowly told everyone else in my family as well. Coming out as a transgender woman is something that I am so scared to do and I am not sure if I ever will do it.

With the way that I live my life these days I do seasonal work that takes me to summer locations in beautiful landscapes in state parks and national parks and usually always have a roommate. Then in the winter I work at ski resorts and ski all winter and I also have a roommate as well, so dressing as a female is non-existent in every possible way. The other person is in the same room as me so I cannot dress up in a nightie and sleep that way without being judged which I couldn't handle.

I am 41 years old and I am not sure if I will ever give up the lifestyle that I live because I enjoy it too much and having a roommate is a cheap way to live so I don't have to pay a ton for lodging. Well anyway I am just happy to be here and I hope that I can contribute some here and perhaps take in advice and so on. Its good to be here