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I have not my crossdressing with my family. Though I do not like keeping all of who I am from my family, it is not the right time at the moment. However, my mom recently said something that makes me feel that there are new possibilities.
First, let me give you some background. I was a teenager when I began to explore crossdressing. I was naïve and did not understand the ramifications of these feelings and what that they fully meant. Borrowing my mom's clothes, I was able to indulge in these feelings when no one was home. I didn't understand all of these feelings except that they felt right. I shared my crossdressing with my younger siblings which in hindsight I understand was a mistake. Confused, my siblings informed my parents. My parents took me to see a psychologist. Trying to avoid trouble which may or may not have been there, I told both my parents and the psychologist what I thought each wanted to hear. I lied about my feelings and attraction to wearing woman's clothes. As a result, I suppressed my feelings and buried my femininity in the dark recesses of the closet.
Over the next 20 years, I suffered through countless cycles of purges where I could neither accept my femininity nor deny its presence. Occasionally, I may have indulged in my feelings, but would always purge my wardrobe for a multitude of reasons. Only recently have I been able to accept my femininity is as important to who I am as my masculinity is. With the support and understanding of my wife, I have began to explore my femininity openly and how it fits within who I am.
A few weeks ago, my wife asked me if I would ever share MacKenzie with my family. I explained that I would like to be able to, but now was not the right time and I was doubtful if it would ever be given my family's views. Yesterday, my mom showed me that I may just be wrong in my assumption about my family's acceptance.
Yesterday, my mom and I were discussing the Department of Defense's recent announcement that it would allow transgender to serve openly within year. I also shared an article about a recent Navy grad who came out as transgender to her CO. We also discussed the reasons why someone may be LGBT. My mom acknowledged for the first time that there are biological factors involved.
This alone would have signified more openness on my mom's part to my crossdressing, but my mom would further surprise me. She shared that she had been recently asked how she would feel if one of her children came out to her. My mom responded that she said that she didn't know as none have. When I heard this, I was elated. My mom had never previously expressed any feelings other negative ones toward such a possibility.
No, I don't plan on coming out to my mom today. But knowing that she has open the door a crack to the possibility that she would be accepting on some level is a great relief. Opening up to my family about MacKenzie is not a decision that can be taken lightly, but know it is no longer a pipe dream.
MacKenzie it certainly seems as if the signs are good. There are so many factors involved in coming out, factors that we can't always define or address so sometimes it's just a case of taking that leap of faith.
The other thing to consider is that reactions from society 20-30 years ago were often based on societal 'norms'. Since then there has been much greater exposure to transgender issues. Christine Jorgensen was a pioneer but few people gave her much thought once the media interest in her died down. These days there have been many more people coming out as transgender and instead of shutting themselves away, being locked up in mental institutions or taking their own lives, they are able to be open and public. Those old 'norms' are changing.
When you get a chance, Google 'Group Captain Cater MacGregor'. She is a former Australian Army officer who transitioned whilst still a member of the Australian Defence Force. She later transferred to the Royal Australian Air Force (hence her current rank). She was the most high profile ADF member to transition 'on the job'. Over the last ten years acceptance of transgender people has certainly improved, here at least.
I think that perhaps your mother, at least, is ready to hear what you have to say. It might not be as big a shock as it could be for others because of your previous experience, but that experience in itself is evidence that there never was anything to 'cure'.
Best wishes to you and your lovely wife MacKenzie.
🙂
I a bit older but can still identify. To my mother crossdressing was a disease that a psychiatrist could cure. Earlier it was a perversion that was criminal. Even today transgender sometimes involves a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Only recently is the fact that we are own normal starting to be considered. To those who are not transgender and I include gay and lesbian they will likely never truly understand our need to be who we are. The best I hope for is that those close to us want us to be happy.
Mackenzie, my parents have passed on but I had the same fears with regards to my oldest sister finding out about Cyn! She had made many phobic remarks earlier in life and i genuinely feared she would freak out but it turned out that she has actually been my single biggest supporter. She treats me as her sister and helps me organize Cyn's wardrobe (not a small task-ask anyone!) , She even borrow clothes from me now saying I have great taste in clothes!
Not saying to come out to your mom this instant but WILL say definitely dont let FEA ofwhat MIGHT happen prevent you from sharing this side of you with her either. ou will be surprised how some folks' attitudes towards TG/CD folks soften and become more positive when it is in regards to someone they love instead of a stranger!
Cyn
2016_personal stories: MacKenzie Alexandra original post:
I have not my crossdressing with my family. Though I do not like keeping all of who I am from my family, it is not the right time at the moment. However, my mom recently said something that makes me feel that there are new possibilities.
First, let me give you some background. I was a teenager when I began to explore crossdressing. I was naïve and did not understand the ramifications of these feelings and what that they fully meant. Borrowing my mom’s clothes, I was able to indulge in these feelings when no one was home. I didn’t understand all of these feelings except that they felt right. I shared my crossdressing with my younger siblings which in hindsight I understand was a mistake. Confused, my siblings informed my parents. My parents took me to see a psychologist. Trying to avoid trouble which may or may not have been there, I told both my parents and the psychologist what I thought each wanted to hear. I lied about my feelings and attraction to wearing woman’s clothes. As a result, I suppressed my feelings and buried my femininity in the dark recesses of the closet.
Over the next 20 years, I suffered through countless cycles of purges where I could neither accept my femininity nor deny its presence. Occasionally, I may have indulged in my feelings, but would always purge my wardrobe for a multitude of reasons. Only recently have I been able to accept my femininity is as important to who I am as my masculinity is. With the support and understanding of my wife, I have began to explore my femininity openly and how it fits within who I am.
A few weeks ago, my wife asked me if I would ever share MacKenzie with my family. I explained that I would like to be able to, but now was not the right time and I was doubtful if it would ever be given my family’s views. Yesterday, my mom showed me that I may just be wrong in my assumption about my family’s acceptance.
Yesterday, my mom and I were discussing the Department of Defense’s recent announcement that it would allow transgender to serve openly within year. I also shared an article about a recent Navy grad who came out as transgender to her CO. We also discussed the reasons why someone may be LGBT. My mom acknowledged for the first time that there are biological factors involved.
This alone would have signified more openness on my mom’s part to my crossdressing, but my mom would further surprise me. She shared that she had been recently asked how she would feel if one of her children came out to her. My mom responded that she said that she didn’t know as none have. When I heard this, I was elated. My mom had never previously expressed any feelings other negative ones toward such a possibility.
No, I don’t plan on coming out to my mom today. But knowing that she has open the door a crack to the possibility that she would be accepting on some level is a great relief. Opening up to my family about MacKenzie is not a decision that can be taken lightly, but know it is no longer a pipe dream.
