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It's a warm sunny day and I'm in my car driving to who knows where. I may be running errands or exploring the area but none of that matters because my path is about to shift. I'm usually not one to remember my dreams. Very few have an impact that I still remember them and this one is only different because it isn't so morbid or crazy weird. It's a dream about what I've dreamed of doing. A dream that seems to confirm an answer to what I've wanted to say for a long time but could never muster up the courage to say for fear of being shut down and forced into a corner or even verbally/physically abused (who knows what actually could happen as results vary).
The area seems familiar enough as I'm driving that I don't need to focus on where I am and I can look around for any place of interest. Maybe I could find a music store to check out or a new place to eat at. As my gaze goes to the right, my eye is caught on a particular store. It's a local store that doesn't have any fancy looking signs to beckon you closer but what I am called toward is what I see in the window. It's a boutique store selling very cute clothes for women and I can't help but want to see what else they have. I park the car and head inside without a care of anyone who might see me. the walls are white and have grooves in them so you can hang anywhere you wish and the carpet is very green. I'm still very drawn to the clothes that surround me and soon I see a pair of adorable white ruffled panties on display that I almost run for. I find a pair laid out beneath the display and grab one in my size. I'm totally hooked and start browsing every square inch of the store, no clothing rack or drawer left unchecked. As I'm browsing everything trying to come up with outfit ideas, one of the sales ladies approaches me and asks "Are you finding everything okay?" I tell her that I am and thank her and she tells me if I have any questions or need anything to let her know. At this point, I'm nervous. I wonder if she suspects anything but I also wonder if I should tell her. She's off grabbing clothes from the back to stock up front so I continue browsing. I stumble upon some magazines framed on a wall and a paper holder on the wall that contains business information about the store and in big bold letters towards the bottom it reads "We are transgender friendly! We'd absolutely LOVE to help you!!" My heart flutters and my face fills with giddiness and excitement. I feel not only accepted and welcome, but encouraged to seek someone to assist me in shopping for clothes. I have questions. "What do you think about this skirt with that top?" "If you had my complexion, what colors work best and what would you wear?" "Would it be possible to take my measurements so I can be sure I'm buying clothes in the right size?" I'm walking fast throughout the store looking for a sales associate because aside from all the questions I have, I'm so ready to say the words I've always wanted to say to someone face to face. "Hello, I'm transgender and I'm shopping for myself." From there, I can ask questions and hope to have a great shopping experience and feel great about my purchase.
Unfortunately, as I look around the store and look towards the dressing rooms, I haven't seen an associate yet. As I turn to check another part of the store, back to reality. I've been awoken from some strange noise and as I open my eyes, I realize it's probably nothing worth checking out and try to go back into dreamland where I was about to make a big statement. I never made it back there. But the excitement and eagerness to express that I'm transgender to someone face to face has lingered since. I know this is something I must do. Not because I have to but because it feels natural. Results will vary in the real world and it may or may not be a dream come true when I do get the chance. But I know I can't deny who I am and dreams like this are kind of like a sign that this is the next step. I've been dying to share this dream for almost a week now and whoever reads this, thank you and I hope to hear from you.
Kimberly,
What a wonderful dream and post! I know exactly how you feel! I am a closeted CD feeling here way out of the closet and trying to figure out of just being out more is enough or if I am indeed a TS who needs to do a full transition! I have not even completely admitted to myself whether I am TS but have acknowledged to myself that I am transgender and always will be. IT is just a matter of figuring out where on the spectrum I am, I have written several posts/articles you might be interested in about going out in public and telling others about my self. If you would like to read them you can PM me and I’ll send you the links to them.
I am so excited for you as these are indeed big steps for you!
Cyn
Incidentally today I was writing this article ... "The life I dream of..." And I was stating that I would open a clothing store that stocks fashionable clothes, lingerie and shoes. Where we would welcome everyone without asking if the clothes are for your wife or girlfriend. The staff would be from every gender known so that the customers are comfy to talk to them for their queries.
One day, someday, I just wish I could just have it.
I'd love to shop at that store if you get it going.
Wonderful post Kimberly! Your dream may be a reality in my area of the country (San Diego has the Hillcrest area which is very TG friendly) , but sadly it isn't in a lot of other cities. We here have a duty to make the world more accepting for crossdressers and transsexuals, and get rid of the gender roles which are drilled in to our heads from birth.
2016_personal stories: Kimberly original post:
It’s a warm sunny day and I’m in my car driving to who knows where. I may be running errands or exploring the area but none of that matters because my path is about to shift. I’m usually not one to remember my dreams. Very few have an impact that I still remember them and this one is only different because it isn’t so morbid or crazy weird. It’s a dream about what I’ve dreamed of doing. A dream that seems to confirm an answer to what I’ve wanted to say for a long time but could never muster up the courage to say for fear of being shut down and forced into a corner or even verbally/physically abused (who knows what actually could happen as results vary).
The area seems familiar enough as I’m driving that I don’t need to focus on where I am and I can look around for any place of interest. Maybe I could find a music store to check out or a new place to eat at. As my gaze goes to the right, my eye is caught on a particular store. It’s a local store that doesn’t have any fancy looking signs to beckon you closer but what I am called toward is what I see in the window. It’s a boutique store selling very cute clothes for women and I can’t help but want to see what else they have. I park the car and head inside without a care of anyone who might see me. the walls are white and have grooves in them so you can hang anywhere you wish and the carpet is very green. I’m still very drawn to the clothes that surround me and soon I see a pair of adorable white ruffled panties on display that I almost run for. I find a pair laid out beneath the display and grab one in my size. I’m totally hooked and start browsing every square inch of the store, no clothing rack or drawer left unchecked. As I’m browsing everything trying to come up with outfit ideas, one of the sales ladies approaches me and asks “Are you finding everything okay?” I tell her that I am and thank her and she tells me if I have any questions or need anything to let her know. At this point, I’m nervous. I wonder if she suspects anything but I also wonder if I should tell her. She’s off grabbing clothes from the back to stock up front so I continue browsing. I stumble upon some magazines framed on a wall and a paper holder on the wall that contains business information about the store and in big bold letters towards the bottom it reads “We are transgender friendly! We’d absolutely LOVE to help you!!” My heart flutters and my face fills with giddiness and excitement. I feel not only accepted and welcome, but encouraged to seek someone to assist me in shopping for clothes. I have questions. “What do you think about this skirt with that top?” “If you had my complexion, what colors work best and what would you wear?” “Would it be possible to take my measurements so I can be sure I’m buying clothes in the right size?” I’m walking fast throughout the store looking for a sales associate because aside from all the questions I have, I’m so ready to say the words I’ve always wanted to say to someone face to face. “Hello, I’m transgender and I’m shopping for myself.” From there, I can ask questions and hope to have a great shopping experience and feel great about my purchase.
Unfortunately, as I look around the store and look towards the dressing rooms, I haven’t seen an associate yet. As I turn to check another part of the store, back to reality. I’ve been awoken from some strange noise and as I open my eyes, I realize it’s probably nothing worth checking out and try to go back into dreamland where I was about to make a big statement. I never made it back there. But the excitement and eagerness to express that I’m transgender to someone face to face has lingered since. I know this is something I must do. Not because I have to but because it feels natural. Results will vary in the real world and it may or may not be a dream come true when I do get the chance. But I know I can’t deny who I am and dreams like this are kind of like a sign that this is the next step. I’ve been dying to share this dream for almost a week now and whoever reads this, thank you and I hope to hear from you.
