Unable to Be All of Me

Having lived in survival mode most of my life, I can relate to you're feeling. Right now I live a dual life and I think that has been what has really defined me. I underdress most of the time, but there are situations where I cannot. For those times I get myself in the frame of mind that is what it is right now, focus on the now and put my feelings and the girl in back in the closet for that period of time. This allows you to, like I said focus on the task at hand, but also help you enjoy your life while you're in your current situation. Not saying it's easy but it is a survival technique I've acquired that works for me.
Once you're back to normal, take a couple of binge days and let the girl out of the closet.

MacKenzie I was involved in Scouting for 18 years so I know pretty much how you feel. The difference for me was that it was before I came out to anyone. The fear of discovery, and the ramifications of such a discovery, were especially heightened on those camps. Still, I know that feeling of not even being able to wear even the underwear that helps us feel who we are.

At those times my 'dressing' was all in my mind but those thoughts helped to fill the void. Back then I didn't have the internet away from home so I couldn't even chat to anyone else.

There was a bit of a feeling of needing to 'catch up' once I got home but of course, still being in the closet then meant that that didn't always happen.

The time will pass MacKenzie and you'll be back in a pretty dress before you know it.

I think all of us can relate to this on some level MacKenzie, and it can certainly be frustrating!  My wife is a school teacher, and I remember all to well the first year we lived together and she had the summer off.  This was before I finally mustered up the nerve to come out to her about everything.  There were two solid months where I had nearly zero time to dress.  It was a challenge for sure, and it taught me a lot about myself and just how important being able to express this side of me truly was to me.  Not being able to let Lauren out truly showed me how much I needed it in my life and it was just a few months later that I finally came out to her about everything.

Trust me when I say there is light at the end of that tunnel, and that in just a bit more time you'll be back in a gorgeous dress and feel like yourself once again.  I simply copy and paste the wonderful advice that Darcy and Jane have said, once you're able to dress again take a few days and completely submerge yourself in all things femme to make up for lost time and you'll feel like a million bucks once again.  Until then, I offer *Big Hugs*!   🙂

<3  Lauren

Mackenzie,

Just reading your situation sent chills down my spine. I am not sure how I would and indeed will handle a similar one. In a week I am going on a beach trip with my wife, daughter and her boyfriend. I will have to curtail my dressing activities seriously. I dress everyday, and not doing it will make me feel nervous and uncomfortable I know. I hate guy's beachwear, but I don't dare wear the pretty swimsuit and beachwear I have. Luckily, my wife and I will have a separate room, and I'll be able to dress in privacy there. I know that I just have to get through it. My daughter doesn't know and it would embarrass her in front of her boyfriend, if I came out. It's good to know that there are others who have to go through this. Thanks for sharing about it. I know you'll make it, and enjoy your dressing even more when you get back to the situation where you're free to be a woman you are again. My thoughts will be with you. Hugs.

Mackenzie,

I had a similar several week period right before and during the Christmas holidays this pas year where my sister was staying at my house and did not yet know about me  and I was unable to dress other than undies for about 2-3 weeks. I felt extreme anxiety at not being able to dress every day as I had been doing.  When I was finally able to after the New Year when she went home, the feeling of relief was tremendous! So please know that you WILL make it through this time and can resume as soon as you are able.

BTW since hen my sis found out about me and to my astonishment ended up being my biggest supporter! She is helping me organize Cyn's stuff and even borrows my clothes and shoes too!

Cyn

Ladies, thanx for the encouragement and support. I am now halfway through my haitus. Your support  and CDH has been a Godsend. Without either, I would probably be pulling my hair iut right now. Thanx again.

Hugs,

MacKenzie

If you really want to pull your hair out, use a pair of tweezers and do it one hair at a time on your arms. 😉 That'll use up a lot of the time you have remaining, then start on your legs.

2016_personal stories: MacKenzie Alexandra original post: 

Due to circumstances, I will be unable to dress for almost 4 weeks. Since I began dressing again, this will be the longest hiatus that I have experience. In previous and similar situations, I have at least been able to wear my panties, however, my current situation does not allow even this freedom.

It is only been at week and half and I am facing something akin to withdrawal. I finding myself thinking about how I could dress in any little way. This is especially not possible this week. I am at scout camp and living in communal arrangement. Shaving is the limit of MacKenzie that I will be able to express.

Has anyone been in a similar situation with similar feelings? How did you cope and adjust? What were the affects when you were able to dreas freely again?

Thanx in advance for the support and friendship. Without it, my situation would be harder to face.

MacKenzie