Who are you

Darcy - well put.

Food for thought.

Claudia

Darcy , there are many layers in our mind of who we really are . No one can totally be free to live their lives  unless they happy in body and mind . Personally I am totally Karyn , now I never think about Karl because like a butterfly comes from a cocoon of a caterpillar , my wife saw me as Karyn and brought about the metamorphosis of Karl to Karyn . Does a butterfly remember the catterpillar ? Of course I remember Karl , he was a sweet effeminate feminine looking polite kind nerdy guy who was asexual and a virgin until he was married . My wife love who I was but recognized who I really could be if. I expressed my natural inclinations . Now I am sure that we all progress at our own pace .

Quite right, Karyn.

Darcy, who am I -Rosaliy.  I stopped relating as that guy many many moons ago.  I recognize the components that are integral to Rosaliy but Rosaliy is who I am and will always be.

Good question.  Hope you get more good answers.

Darcy-I think I am Cynthia who still has a male shell due to work and family necessities but wanting to spread her wings and fly out into the world more and more.  The feminine side of me is stronger than ever and feels like it is her time after 50 years of hiding from the world.

Love this topic!

Cynthia

Cynthia, sounds like it may be time for that family discussion about Cynthia.

Being this woman never goes away and I have tried to forget it often enough.

In the end I can only say it is best to be yourself but when you have a family to consider, you need to sit down, with your wife first, to go over the issues that may arise from you 'spreading your wings.'

to answer the question "Does Butterfly know they were a Caterpillar?"

I would say this.  The Caterpillar knows it is changing.  The Butterfly only knows, and rejoices in, its freedom to fly.

I'm definitely one person, but in a way I guess I have two expressions of that person. The predominate expression tends to be male, in keeping with my biological gender. the other expression is female. In both expressions I am still the same person - I just let the more masculine part govern when I am dressed as a male and the feminine part govern when I am dressed as a female.

I understand the third person thing, but I don't relate to it.
I am one person and it dosnt change based on what I am wearing or how i am presenting.  For me, it is being at ease with myself that matters....not whether someone else who looks at me thinks boy or girl.

I kept the crossdressing secret from my wife of 34 years until 8 years ago. Coming out to her was difficult and it is still difficult. She always told me I had a heckle and jeckle personality. Prior to telling her I dressed when away on business and if it was a long time since the last time then my anxiety rose and moods changed, once I dressed and got out i was more relaxed and she never knew why. Although in present time she is not accepting or understanding she does know when my mood swings and tells me i need to dress and go out and have fun just don't involve her. This I do and i am good for a while. I do know this that as I age with the testosterone dropping I need to dress more often. Dressing daily androgynously along with underdressing helps but my fem side of the brain is becoming more powerful.

Since I only dress a few times a month I identify as male most of the time.

So I'm the guy who let's the girl out when she really needs to get out.

She gets to pick out all the outfits though !!  🙂

Ah Dani! I know what you mean! In the last few years I have really accelerated in my dressing-now dressing nearly every night at home(divorced about 10 years ago) since my youngest (adult) child moved out earlier this year. Working my way up to going out and interacting at leas a little with the world as Cynthia! It doesn't generally lessen with age but instead  increases. There is a forum topic about this very subject-check the forums for it.

Cynthia

I consider myself male most of the time i only refer to my self as robbie when i am dressed

I you had asked me this question a year ago it would be "I'm the guy that shares with the girl within." Even then I would sometimes try to ignore the girl within and not share. Years of thinking "I must be the only one, I'm a freak, this is sinful, God is going to punish me," have worn me out. Since I have finally come to the realization that Staci is the real me, my life has begun to calm down. There is still turmoil going on inside but it's a good turmoil as I submit to letting me be myself as much as possible. Now it is definitely the girl sharing with the guy within, with a view to eventually being just the girl with only a small physical reminder of that guy left. Heck, I don't really try and hide my feminine mannerisms while in guy mode anymore. If someone comments I usually just say something like, "Oh really, I wasn't aware of that. Hmmmn!" And go on my merry way.

You know the hard part of being who you are is confidence in yourself . Now that I dress full time femme , it is important to me that I am accepted that way . I really feel like I have lost my masculinity and male identity . Having taken hormones , etc for so long I have no ability to have male responses to my wife or BF . When your male ability for sexual arousal is gone , you have to find a replacement . Loving the other person and giving yourself to them really helps instead of thinking about yourself . I have a GF on the Campus police that she is totally turned on to me . However , she often treats me as a baby or doll like little girl around her friends .  Thank Goodness even my voice has changed  which I never expected to happen . So I can fit in , but now I am learning to enjoy my life as a new adventure .