Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Being dressed around my wife

74 Posts
29 Users
296 Reactions
2,294 Views
Posts: 39
Lady
Topic starter
(@annabeth)
Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Joined: 12 months ago

Hi,

I am a nearly 30 year old crossdresser and have been married for about 2 years now.
Shortly after our marriage I came out to her, I know that I should've told her before. I hadn't dressed up in 5 years at that point.
But she took it really well and was supportive, she had a hunch that I have a strong feminine side.
At the time we still lived with my parents, so we decided that I shouldn't start dressing up again until we had our own place.

We moved in to our own house, and with her permission I wear her cloths from time to time when she isn't around.
I want to take the next step, that's me dressed up in front of her, but want to do this planned and not just suddenly show up all dressed up.

How do I bring this up to have a chat with her about it?
Thanks in advance for your advice.

Regards,
Annabeth

Reply
73 Replies
31 Replies
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@annabeth 

I echo what Robyn said. It's a strong positive for you that your wife is aware of your crossdressing and is supportive, sight unseen. That may be as far as she's prepared to go.

I think that, however you approach it, one of your very first sentences should include the words "How would you feel if...", or something to that effect. Her feelings are paramount in this situation. Good luck!

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

Thank you Jacqueline for your reply.
If this is as far as she's prepated to go, then I will certainly accept it.
Just thought that it might be nice to share this with her as well, depending on how she feels about it.
Thanks also for the words for the approach, the words needed to start the conversation is what I struggle with the most

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 147

@annabeth @jacquelinelarkspur 

Oh I do agree but as others have said "Softly softly".

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2177

@annabeth Hi, Annabeth, it sounds like you have a good relationship, her acceptance and sharing her clothes is a big thing.

As an occasional Buddhist/Existentialist, I shy away from offering advice but I'll make a couple of observations.

You say that you want to "take the next step" and be dressed "in front of her". Call me a semantic pedant but, to me, that has connotations of separateness and asking permission.

I initially asked my wife if she would like to share the experience with me, not meaning that she has to dress any differently.

I now regularly thank her for accepting and supporting me. I point out how much more enjoyable being dressed nicely is when I can share it with her.

Remember, I'm not advising you to do this, to paraphrase Jean-Paul Sartre here, you are condemned to be free to choose! Ha ha.

Seriously, I hope it goes well for you, there's loads of ladies here who would love to have such an accepting SO.

Bon Chance

Allie x

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@alexina Hi Allie, thank you for your reply. It gave me some new insights.

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 147

Dear Annabeth,

Its a positive step to have come out to her and she is supportive of your crossdressing!

Much of how things will play out is her perspective and understanding of crossdressing as a whole and her understanding of you as a crossdresser.

I'm sure she has researched and read several articles on crossdressing, which reveal a very narrow and at times negative perspective of crossdressers.

Something which may help is giving her a book titled "Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal" Which was created for crossdressers to gift to their significant other. It includes a chapter on crossdressing from a spouse's perspective.

I hope this helps, If anything you can always DM me directly 🙂

With all my support and encouragement,
The Bluest Belladonna

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@bluestbelladonna Thank you for your reply and suggestion. I'll look into it.
She's not much of a reader, but if it's a thin book she might just read it 😆

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5189

@annabeth 

For info, 'Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal' is by Savannah Hauk and was self-published in 2017. It ISN'T short (it's just under 300 pages long) but it IS very good. Helen Boyd's 'My Husband Betty: Love, Sex and Life with a Crossdresser' (Seal Press ,2003) is also valuable.

The first book is by an MTF crossdresser and the second is by the wife of one. Taken together, they cover most of the bases. They’re ‘warts and all’ though, so make sure that you read them yourself before making them available to your wife.

Hugs

Ellie x

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@ellyd22 thank you for the suggestion

Reply
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 147

@annabeth 

Dear Anna,

I did the same for my spouse, after much deliberation. She didint read it thoroughly and it traveled from the coffee table to the shelf over the span of a month 😓 

Though what I feel is important is the option and understanding now exist. She can always reach out and read the book if the curiosity/anxiety/uncertainty/etc hits her. It also express my desire to intentionally share and encourage her to better understand us as crossdressers. Not all of us desire to transition or participate in dressing as a fetish as google portrays in the majority of the searches.

With all my support and encouragement, your making progress 🙂
The Bluest Belladonna

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@bluestbelladonna Yes, I understand what you mean. A book like this might help her understand. And if she understands perhaps she'd be more open to talking about my feminine side

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3998

@annabeth It would be helpful, in this day of people not reading as much anymore, to have a video, maybe audio, version of these books.

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5189

@annabeth 

Hey Annabeth

I just read back over your intro post, which you wrote just over a month ago:

I talked to my wife about me crossdressing, she was okay with it. But we never got to exploring together.

At the time you'd not long changed from staying with your parents to sharing your own house, and were hoping that this would allow you to dress more. It sounds as though things are progressing on that front 🙂

As it stands, your wife is okay with your crossdressing ... AND she is supportive of you wearing her clothes from time to time when she isn't in the house. It seems to me that it wouldn't be TOO much of a leap if you were to suggest dressing in front of her. She may even be expecting you to suggest that at some point.

As Jacqui said:

I think that, however you approach it, one of your very first sentences should include the words "How would you feel if...", or something to that effect.

Slow and steady wins the race. Just 'suddenly showing up all dressed up' is definitely NOT a good idea.

You're already in a good place compared to many. If you DO decide to take things further then I wish you the very best of luck.

And if the conversation goes well then you'll need to start buying your own clothes rather than continually borrowing hers. Be prepared for the expense!

Hugs 

Ellie x

 

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@ellyd22 Thank you for your reply. I am grateful to her for being so supportive and we've taken some steps as you've mentioned since moving into our own place. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace. If she's okay with it, I'll involve her in choosing cloths and eventually makeup

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3998

Posted by: @annabeth

How do I bring this up to have a chat with her about it?

You are looking for ideas about how to broach the idea of you dressing more. This involves good communication and care for both of you.

May I suggest you both take a gender survey together? This should give you both incentive to talk openly with each other. The one that I would recommend has been discussed here by many members, nearly 60 pages worth, if I recall correctly.

The reason that I like this quiz is that it somehow generates a percentage of male and female traits that don't add up to 100! This has to give you reason enough for you to talk about things between you without adding pressure on just one of you.

Take the survey first in private, as a practice run and to add competency, so that you know better how it all works, then take it together.

Gender Quiz

 

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@harriette Thank you for your suggestion. I'll take a look into it

Reply
Lady
(@candycross)
Joined: 9 months ago

Honorable Member     Queensland, Australia
Posts: 313

@harriette I did that gender quiz and my result was feminine and then my wife did the quizz and she got femine

Reply
Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 594

@annabeth first, remind her how much you love her,only, and have no intention to transition. Ask her how she would feel if you could show her  your fem self as you want to be able to share this part of you with her. Just go slow, be honest and loving.

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@jillleanne Thank you for your advice. I will take it slow and listen to her pace

Reply
Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

@annabeth My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. I had been dressing in public for three years before we met. She showed up at my place and surprised me on a Saturday morning. I had been out dressed the night before. I got home late and figured I would put the clothes away in the morning. When she came in and saw the clothes, she was not happy. She apologized for showing up and was going to leave. I decided to tell her the truth.

The clothes are mine. I like wearing them and wore them out last night at a party. She seemed to not believe me and asked me to show her. I took the clothes, went in the bedroom, put them on, did makeup and everything. When I came walking out, she was shocked. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was and how different I looked. That same day we went out shopping as girlfriends.

We went out often and enjoyed lots of girl time together.

I hope your unveil goes as well.

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@pattyphose That's a great story. Would love it if mine will go that smooth 🙂

Reply
Duchess
(@pattyphose)
Joined: 9 years ago

Famed Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 2296

@annabeth I hope it does. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Reply
Significant Other
(@jb)
Joined: 4 years ago

Trusted Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 36

@annabeth 

Accepting spouse chiming in. I agree that you should NOT just show up dressed, but rather broach the subject. It seems silly to me now, in retrospect, but after my spouse came out to me it was a HUGE step for him to show me firstly, his clothes stash, then pix of him dressed, and finally, the whole Monty en femme. And it was a gradual introduction. Trust me, the first time seeing your husband in a bra and wig is quite shocking, and she needs to mentally prepare herself for the sight. (Fast forward 3 years out to me, and now its almost shocking not to see him in a bra at home. Go figure)

Since she already knows about Annabeth, you have a good foundation to share more. In our experience we have found that lots of talking and communication has been the key. Maybe something like this, but in your own words/comfort level: 

"IF you are willing, I would like to share Annabeth with you. Do you think you can handle seeing me dressed as Annabeth in person? I understand if this is not something you are ready for, or interested in seeing. If the answer is no, that is ok."

Hope this helps, good luck! 🙂

 

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@jb This helps a lot thank you. I love that your advice comes from a spouse who has already experienced it. Could I perhaps send a private chat to you depending on how our talk went?

Reply
Significant Other
(@jb)
Joined: 4 years ago

Trusted Member     Connecticut, United States of America
Posts: 36

@annabeth 

Sure, happy to try and help.

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@jb Thank you

Reply
(@siobhann)
Joined: 11 months ago

Estimable Member     Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 73

@annabeth I don't know how far you want to go. Personally, I started wearing a tartan nightgown, then a woman's tartan nightgown. Then shaved my legs. Then shaved a bit more. Then painted my toenails regularly, then bought women's jeans and a couple feminine tops. Then fully just women's nightgowns or pajamas, and then ...more. I just pushed a little at a time until we had to have "the talk". The talk for us meant " was I gonna go mess with guys behind her back" "was I gonna start dressing full time [embarrassing her in front of family]" and " doesn't like my eyes done" I do my eyes alone, though.

 

You are still young, girl. I met my wife at 30, and kinda shut down my preference of nightly adornment until the last few years. I wish I hadn't. If you can push a little at a time, now, and be open about it, but bit by bit, I think you will have so many more years of happiness. You may find your own level of comfort in that, too. Don't waste too much time. If you feel it as a need, just start easing in so you don't turn 50 wishing you could have been dressing the way you want to, or need to, the whole time.

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@siobhann Thank you for the advice

Reply
Duchess Annual
(@isabella22)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 185

@annabeth Annabeth, some of my comments could be repetitive, go slowly, ask permission and tolerance. When I asked permission, to my surprise my wife answered, this is your house too and you can dress the way you want. Go modest and preferably get your own clothes. You are heading in the right direction with her acceptance.

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@isabella22 Thank you for your advice. I'll keep it in mind

Reply
Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 6 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 471

@annabeth Just talk to her. She already knows you like to dress and let's you wear her clothes. It's not a big leap to want to share this with her.

Reply
Posts: 135
Duchess
(@robyn1408)
Reputable Member     Cape Cod, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Annabeth,

"How do I bring this up to have a chat with her about it"?

Very carefully and with lots of discussion leading up to the chat. You can get a very good sense of how she might respond based on earlier talks. Basically, be patient. 

As you said, you most certainly do not want to "show up all dressed up". Do not ever forget, she married a man. Asking her to also accept a transgender/crossdresser into you house is a big ask.

Good luck young lady.

Robyn

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@robyn1408 Thank you for your reply. I will take it into account

Reply
Posts: 328
Duchess
(@karla1958)
Honorable Member     Not in New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I would like to echo Micki Finn's comments about baby steps. 

When I came out to my wife she was immediately very supportive.  I told her that I had no idea about how to size myself for dresses, etc. and would need her help.  On everything!  She had me try on some of her dresses and we are close to the same size in most things.

When I want to buy a new dress, skirt, top etc., I always ask her opinion.  This keeps her engaged which in turn, I believe, keeps her supportive.

I then asked for her help on make-up as this was a strange world.  We went shopping and I let her be the authority on foundation, eye shadow...the works.  She was very patient and guided me step by step.

As I've said many times here, when I go in to full Karla mode, once I've finished dressing, I go to the living room and ask for her critique.  She keeps it honest and I adjustments as necessary.

You've taken a big step in being honest about your dressing. 

Good luck!

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@karla1958 Thank you for your reply. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace. If she's okay with it, I'll involve her in choosing cloths and eventually makeup

Reply
Posts: 147
Guest
(@Anonymous 94214)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Annabeth,

 

Bless your wife for being supportive and open minded. 

Easy does it.

Rather than mention things that the girls have already covered, I can think of only one possible other item.  If there are any support meetings/groups in your area for CDs, it could be helpful for both of you to attend, particularly when the meetings include both the CD and the spouse of the CD. 

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@catgurl Thank you for your reply. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace. 

Unfortunately there's no support group like that here. While there is a large LGBTQ community here there aren't many crossdressers in our area. But perhaps she can make an account here and learn more from other SO's experiences

Reply
Posts: 232
Baroness Annual
(@conniech)
Reputable Member     Fairfax , Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

More wisdom from Peggy Sue💐. I've long admired -in my 15 months with CDH -your very pretty pictures, captions, comments, replies. You thoroughly enjoy being Peggy Sue (I sure see why) , freely going where you like to. I hope for you and yours a safe and satisfying Spring🌹

Reply
Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Annabeth, you are already ahead of the game as she knows about your cross dressing, is supportive and allows you to wear her clothes. All big pluses!  Now to start the conversation about how she feels about you being dressed up in front of you.  I presume you do not wear lingerie to bed or she sees you under dress (if you do) ?

 

Take it slow and be curious and ask lots of questions about how she feels about it.

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@leah63 Thank you for your reply. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace. And to answer your question, she hasn't seen me in lingerie. I go to bed in male PJ's and also don't underdress

Reply
Posts: 2099
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

.AnnaBeth -

It is wonderful that your wife is supportive and let's you wear her clothes. When I first came out to my wife she was not very happy. With that being said she did give me some of her clothes that she no longer wore. She also helped me shop online for a couple bras and dresses. Over time she became more accepting and supportive. We've gone for mani-pedi's together and I've gotten color on my toes, we've shopped online and in person together (I'm in drab and don't try things on), she took me to get my ears pierced and last year it got to the point where I was able to dress in front of her. I usually wait for her to bring up my dressing and when she does I am honest with her, which is very important. 

The best thing I can add to what you've already been told is to be patient and let her take the lead and then be honest with her. It may take time but remember slow and steady wins in the end.

XOXO

Suzanne

Reply
2 Replies
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@cdsue Thank you for your reply. Glad to hear that it worked out for you. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace. If she's okay with it, I'll involve her in choosing cloths and eventually makeup

Reply
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 2099

@annabeth that's great - my wife suggested we buy make up for Suzanne one time when we were shopping and then showed me how to use it and still helps touch it up after I put it on - hope it goes well for you

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
Posts: 614
(@hottestwitch)
    Leicester, Leicestershire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

AnnaBeth; from my viewpoint, there really isn't going to be an easy way here.  If she seems to be happy with you wearing pretty clothes, then you're at least half of the way there, but actually seeing you in a mini skirt is a very different thing than just knowing that you like that.  All I can say is (to use a 1970's phrase) "Suck it and see!"  I reckon she'll be fine - after all, she already knows the deep, dark secret, n'est pas?  I just hope that everything goes well after that - surely, it would be a strange matter if she objected to seeing what she already knew?  All I can suggest is you propose a quiet, romantic evening in front of the fire with a bottle of Prosecco and a delivery Chinese:  when they ring the doorbell, let her answer it and sort out the plates and cutlery - you head upstairs, quickly get dressed and come down carrying a couple of glasses and the wine.  She'll either freak out or - MUCH more likely - accept the situation and propose a toast to AnnaBeth! Please let all your sisters here know how it goes:  Good Luck!!!  Holly XXX 

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@hottestwitch Thank you for your comment. That's an idea that might work. But I think that I prefer to follow others here that adviced to only show up dressed if she's okay with it. She knows my dark secret as you've put it. But I prefer not to 'shock' her more than needed

Reply
Posts: 822
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

Might I suggest that you tell her that you want to dress with her around, and if she would help you find clothes. Maybe visit charity shops. This will keep the cost down and you'll see all sorts of styles. Many shops have a style... Younger people, older people. trendy people....Charity shops have all styles, and at very cheap prices. 
With your wife helping you with the choice of clothing, she won't be so "shocked" about seeing you in it as she chose it. 

Cerys

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@dazzler thank you for your comment. That's actually a good idea

Reply
Posts: 305
Duchess
(@2bmadeline)
Reputable Member     Walla Walla, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Ask her for a make over. Give her full reign.

Reply
Posts: 514
Duchess Annual
(@blondsherri)
Honorable Member     Missoula, Montana, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

For all my two cents worth, do not show up fully dressed. I did that and it took years to get over, very big mistake. I would also say buy your own clothes and not show up in hers, she may let you wear them when you're not together but might be ok in front of her. I do like the idea of bringing up the help with makeup, might be a great way to break the ice. Anyway you do it, do it slowly, you've got a whole future in front of you, no sense in ruining it now. But please do tell us how it turns out.

Sherri

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@blondsherri Thank you for your reply. I understand what you and the others suggest. I'll take it slowly and be honest with her while listening to her pace.

Reply
Posts: 2170
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Don't over think it, simply ask her if she would like to see you dressed. If she says yes, then you can plan it out what best works for both of tou. She might want you to go.dress right then and there, or tou could plan an evening together and prepare a nice home cooked meal and open a nice bottle of wine. Nothing is cuter and says femme quite like lipstick on a wine glass.

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@jjandme Thank you for your advice

Reply
Posts: 16
Lady
(@satinfullbacks)
Eminent Member     Easton, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Since I started crossdressing at 13 til I met my wife at almost 40 I had a few serious relationships that were leading to marriage and they all failed cuz I kept my cross dressing a secret. And I was ridiculed and made to feel ashamed and worst of all, had so much lingerie and outfits thrown away!!! I’m so proud to see so many true men explore and be the lady that’s part of them and not have to lie or be secretive or ashamed. It’s clubs and communities like this who make me feel normal and unashamed of who I am. And when I finally met my wife I fell in love with her instantly and knew I had to be honest with her right away. I feared losing her but I ashbest and told her I like wearing women’s lingerie and outfits! She smiled and told me that she never met a guy like me but was intrigued and told me to tell her all about it. I assured her I wasn’t gay but I liked wearing lingerie and women’s clothing cuz I felt more in touch with my feminine side and want to share that with a female partner. She understood and asked me to dress up for her and she said I looked cute and to dress her up too. We were the same size and I liked that her panties were XL and fit me too. I showed her my entire lingerie collection and she was amazed at how much I had and wanted to try it all on with me. She said she wanted to pick out what she wanted me to wear. She noticed I had lots of satin bra and matching satin panties and I said I only wore satin Victorias Secret. And she said I had her bra size 36C and they fit her perfectly. And she loved that I had garters and stockings and and asked me to show her how to put them on. She attached the garters to the stockings and loved it. Ten I put her in leather miniskirts and blouses and heels. They were a bit big but she liked them. She told me to but her some shoes in her size. I ordered her more shoes and outfits

Reply
1 Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

@satinfullbacks Hi Patty, thank you for sharing your experience. Glad to hear it all worked out for you 🙂

Reply
Posts: 39
Lady
Topic starter
(@annabeth)
Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Joined: 12 months ago

Hi,

I just wanted to check in and give a quick update, as promised.
My wife and I had a talk last week, it went better then expected.
I had brought up the topic before, but her insecurities about crossdressing were just too strong.
I had written some kind of letter with openly what I thought, expressing my gratitude towards her, what I’d like to happen in the future, etc. Because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to express myself verbally, it would have been harder to find the right words.

 

She read it and started crying a bit. But we had a nice open dialogue. She was more interesting to discuss it and wanted to know why I like crossdressing so much, other than for the cute cloths and nice textiles. Unfortunately I couldn’t explain it myself, I honestly said that it just clicked and gave me peace of mind whenever I’m stressed for example. Sometime in my youth it just happened. She was okay with that but wanted to further understand the why.
So I suggested that she visits this website and eventually made her own account.
She was open to it and will look at this website on her own time/pace.

In the meantime, she’s still okay with me fully dressing when she’s away. She’s still scared to see me in full feminine clothing. I understood why and said that if she changes her mind we could always start with a picture or however she wants it. But she said that it would be okay with me wearing feminine cloths while she’s around, but only cloths so no wig and also no dresses or skirts. But she’s okay with feminine blouses, pants and PJ’s. Depending at how it goes she’d also be okay with teaching me how to apply make up. It’s a big development in my opininion and we’ll see how it goes from there.
Her pants don’t fit me, so it’ll have to wait 🙂
Thanks again for your encouragement, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without your support.

PS: any tips on styles with pants? I must admit that I never wore female pants before 
Or perhaps tips on looking femine without a wig? I have short hair, so it's really manly. Even wearing a dress without wig looks strange to me.

Reply
3 Replies
Lady
(@jennap61)
Joined: 4 years ago

Trusted Member     London, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 55

@annabeth I bought ladies slacks or pants on Amazon. They have a good selection and sizing was easy. Same went for blouses. I’ve also bought femme clothes at  Costco that have worked out well. I’ve bought dresses and skirts mostly at secondhand clothing stores.  
I am naturally bald now so I wear wigs  I’ve found that the more expensive wigs look the best, unfortunately.  My SO now is okay with me dressing femme around the house now so I’ve got quite the femme wardrobe. I dress femme usually every day but in a casual way. I don’t wear dresses and heels until the weekend or some evenings. I wear capris and sleeveless blouses for example when gardening  

 

Reply
(@annabeth)
Joined: 12 months ago

Trusted Member     Oost-Vlaanderen, Belgium
Posts: 39

Hi, thanks for the tips on where to shop. Happy to hear too that your SO is so supportive 🙂

Reply
Lady
(@jennap61)
Joined: 4 years ago

Trusted Member     London, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 55

@annabeth yes it’s taken awhile though. I didn’t come out to her she found panties, bra and stockings in my gym bag. It went from there to total acceptance.

Reply
Posts: 353
Lady
(@darcy97)
Reputable Member     Georgia, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Perhaps an additional conversation is needed. Something along the lines of - I really appreciate you allowing me access to your clothes, but it feels a bit of a violation despite your permission. Could we possibly shop together for a couple of outfits for me?

It would allow her a chance to be involved and have input if she chooses. Additionally, if she does help you would know that the items have her approval/acceptance so you wouldn't be offending her sensitivities by choosing items only you liked.

 

Good luck!

Reply
Page 1 / 2

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!