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I have an issue that I believe a lot of you ladies might have had to deal with. Coming out to a family member. My son is in college and lives in a dorm. His absence around the house has helped me go from occasionally dressing up, to actually being Mikayla. I don't feel like I am ready for the whole dang world to know, but I don't feel right hiding such a big part of me from my son. To be honest, I am spoiled, because I'm not nervous as to how he will react, he is so caring. I am nervous about the inevitable awkwardness that this conversation will have.
So here's my question: do any of you awesome ladies have any advice on discussing your CD side with family? Tips, advice, things to say, things to avoid?
I ask you ladies, cause you're all so damn awesome to me!!
Lots of love!
Mikayla
Hi Mikayla
For me it was different with each person I told, my relationship to each person differs, so how I communicate with them does too. Its personal thing between two people, just try and be calm and honest, the right words will find their way. Like Samantha says, be ready for plenty of questions, and to give them time to think about it. Even when their reponse is not overtly positive, being honest with them can be extremely freeing.
I would be cautious in telling him. does he have any idea you dress up? what is the benefit of telling him, vs the challenges he may have that his dad dresses up? Yes, I understand how freeing it can feel to not have to hide it. But what will the cost (if any ) be to your relationship?
I came out to my son today as being a gender fluid CD. He was really cool. He thanked me for being comfortable enough to share with him. I am the happiest, luckiest girl in the world! Thanks ladies for the guidance and support. I love you all
Mikayla
Now there's a little less darkness in the world as things just got a little bit brighter.
Mikayla I am very happy for you !
Hugs
Congrats Mikayla!!
Doesn't it feel fantastic.
Bravo to your son as well.
💋Olivia
Yes it does! I began rambling to him after I got the ball rolling. Told him that his mom and I went shopping beforehand to relax before "the talk". Told him that my wife even bought me a couple of dresses, and his response was "awww..." Like that was the sweetest thing he had heard. I teared up! I have such an amazing family! And thank you ladies all for the support! I am me!!!!
Lots of love
Mikayla
Okay, I know the story has a happy ending and all, but I just want to offer this little thought.
When you tell a story, people can feel what you feel.
So my thought is to tell the story of my awkwardness and shame and confusion, and eventual awareness and exploration and feelings and waking up! THEN I can tell them how whole and free I feel to express my true self!
Who can resist THAT?!
People will Feel your struggle and pain, and your joy and freedom. They will (usually) understand.
It really helped too, that I let him know I'm finally happy. I've had a lot of difficulty in the past acknowledging that I have self worth, but now I have a confidence and positive self worth that wasn't there before. I think he sees that and that I am healthier now as Mikayla than I ever was as Michael
Great question Mikayla. I have the same issue. I am most interested in the advice in this area. My son is gay but that doesn’t mean he would accept Dad in a dress. So anytime you want to chat about it PM.
Hugs & Kisses
Rosiebeth.
Exactly!!