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Defense mechanism?

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Topic starter
(@Anonymous)
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I've started  to see a pattern with some of my binge buying episodes, whenever she treats me badly I seem to end up buying things.  Bras panties you name it. And the worse it is the more I buy. I just ordered a whole outfit including shoes. I'm thinking it's a salve for my wounded spirit, since I feel I can't fight back against the way she feels about my dressing. Or maybe it's just revenge.

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Posts: 236
Lady
(@janedon)
Reputable Member     London, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

It's Too easy to buy online--If you want to limit your spending--Only buy in person-

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Posts: 1194
(@qtestephy)
Noble Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Katie I love it, "revenge buying"  Just let her know to be nice to you or else . That's defiantly a good reason to go on shopping spree's. I stopped trying to figure out if there was a pattern to my buying. I shop because it makes me feel good to buy the clothes I prefer wearing. My male attire needs so much attention and i have no interest in giving it any attention anymore. If my SO wants shop for men's clothing for me she better find a place to put them. My closet is already full of the clothing I love wearing.

Luv Stephanie

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(@Anonymous)
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I try to limit my buying lately, I was on some binge buying for a while. You could try finding a soothing practice for your wounds. I like to take a long walk and think about things or read a book. I just bought a journal to start writing my thoughts in. Amazon has some wonderful journals with leather covers and feminine designs. Many of us deal with what you are going through. My fiance's acceptance feels like a roller coaster ride for me. But like I said before, I will never go back in the closet.

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Posts: 1418
(@bridgettek2020)
Noble Member     Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I couldn't agree more about Journaling. I've got some dating to the late 1980s, and once in a while it's nice to see how far you've come with some things. I'm a huge fan of writing things down, not to make a record of them, but to clarify your thoughts and feelings. When you write it, you have to be clear... or you have to spend a lot of lines being unclear, which eventually helps make it clear.

Bridgette

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Posts: 1418
(@bridgettek2020)
Noble Member     Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I've had a bit of a time lately with binge buying, and it's gotten me into trouble, not paying enough attention to just how much I was spending total. "This is a great deal, and doesn't cost much at all" eventually shows the power of multiplication. My buying for Bridgette is at all stop right now. But to your point, it depends on who you're trying to deal with, yourself or your SO. And who's money is being spent. It'll add up, and then you'll have to pay the piper... or Amazon!

Bridgette

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Posts: 164
Lady
(@eonao)
Estimable Member     Ontario, Canada
Joined: 4 years ago

“Fighting back or revenge,” deep down you know the answer to that. 💖

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Posts: 683
(@michelletrott)
Honorable Member     Wausau, Wisconsin, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I know exactly what your thinking. My wife is great. But if I am upset with someone in my family I seem to do the same thing. I think I'm telling them f you. It makes no sense because it has nothing to do with my dressing. Then I find myself thinking. Girl don't you think you have enough stuff.

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(@Anonymous)
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I know my “activities” increase when I’m stressed, bored, etc. maybe a defense mechanism, definitely a coping mechanism. Is it being the real me or an alter-ego-escape thing?  I don’t know but I think I can relate.
leslie❤️

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Topic starter
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Bridgette, I've been writing some poetry on a different platform,  quite a few of them hinting around the edge of things. It's definitely been a  help for me. 💕💋 Katie

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