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Hello ladies. Several weeks ago my wife discovered two older selfie photos of me that I had deleted but not totally removed from my phone. Very brief look but enough to realize that it was indeed me and not another woman. She had a very predictable reaction for her, questions without wait for answers. I had been leaving hints for a year. When she began speaking to me a week or so later, more questions did not follow, still not surfacing, just the occasional freak, weirdo, pic references but very, very few. I told her at the time that I would answer any thing and everything she wanted to know. Is this another coping mechanism? I love dressing so I have no plans to give it up. I Wanted to and still want to get this all out but have read here to take all of the situation very slowly. I need advice please on possibly being able to get conversations of any sort started. She still points out the way I cross my legs, acknowledges I like to look through her clothing magazines. She tries on new things and still asks for my opinion, commented when she got new lipsticks, showed me and said she knew I would be dying to try them so I simply said yes. She promptly sat me on her chair and applied one. Do I need help or what? Dying to get started!! Please. ANY thoughts will be of great value! I trust your opinions and those perspectives. Thank you so very much!
How about starting off by letting her know how much you love her? (That's always the best starting point!) Then tell her that you really liked when that incident with the lipstick, and that you hope to be able to explore this part of you with her by your side. That you are willing to go at her pace, because she is so important to you. Then, be ready to answer her questions, and be truthful with your answers... You may not know how far you want to go, but reassure her that you want to be able to talk about this with you and she can also talk about it with you at any time.
(No, I didn't do any of that. I'm sorry I didn't. By the time we discussed things I had done so much that the hurt and resentment was unavoidable...)
Gaby
Thank you, Gabriela! The issue of if I was still loving her came up immediately, if I was leaving her, was I gay, How could I hide this from her if I truly loved her, trusted her enough to share this part of me and several questions all related to that singular subject. I was prepared , I thought, but it was very difficult to convince her in those moments like talking to the volcano to lower the heat. I will continue to demonstrate my love for her and take your advice about my enjoyment. Hadn’t given one thought of any part of sharing how it makes ME feel. I’m sure you understand. Thank you again for talking about your personal experience. May be painful for you to relive that. So sorry!
Heartfelt hugs to you, Gaby.❤️
ALEXIS 👗
Hi Alexis.......interesting story..........on one hand I think I might like to be you but on the other hand I am nervous about your wife. He re-actions are certainly not typical. I hope it works out well for both of you. I should not say this but.....I am interested in how all this comes out.
Dame Veronica
Thank you Dame Veronica. ‘‘Tis more than interesting, isn’t it. Thanks for your response. Couln’t Make it up. There have been couple of other incidents that put me on a very hopeful but cautious bubble involving mascara that excited me a great deal but, again, I was/am cautious to react like I would prefer which would be to outright ask if she would like to see how I look fully made up and, since this is a private situation, would she like to apply my makeup. That could just come out if we experience any other events like I described. We could then be at a crossroads of some real conversations and Think that will be a good thing. Agree? Disagree? Too bold? Keep my focus lower key? Easy goes it? I’m not any different than many of us, I believe. Could have avoided this for her. Ashamed that I did not woman up when I could have. So.....on we go. Keep you informed how this turns out. Thanks again. Warm and sincere hugs.
ALEXIS 👗