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My name is Ana, I´m very new to this and my BF is a cycling CD for 20 years ( He doesnt dress some months and suddenly he must do it everyday, just like in cycles)...
I´d like to know from people here who went through a change (from man to woman permanently) how does that affect your marriage/ relationship.
The reason why I ask this is because I´m a cis girl dating a cis man for a year. It´s not a secret he is a CD now, I´m ok with it, but he seems to be more comfortable when he is a woman and he has been reading a lot about Gender Dysphoria and how to " ease" it... I don´t have enough knowlegde to undertand that, but it seems that one day or another he will be able to do the surgery thing, but I think he will wait his son to grow up. Or maybe not, I don´t know if it will evolve to such a thing or not and he says he´s not sure about anything yet, the only thing he knows is that he loves me and it won´t change.
I just don´t know how to deal with it and I was wondering if any marriage/relationship can survive such a big change in somebody else´s body.
Thanks.
Hi Ana and welcome to CDH. There is a section specifically for wives and significant others, this might be the best place to get answers. I know there are a number of members who are trans and happily married.
It sounds to me like your BF is not certain of where he fits on the CD/TG spectrum, that is not unusual. Once you step outside of the gender binary there is huge array of gender variations that may or may not apply to an individual. It's like going from a black and white world to full colour and trying to figure out what colour you are.
The fact that you are here is awesome, many GFs just turn away and reject the CD aspect of their BFs forcing them to either hide and important side of their personality or to breakup the relationship.
The best advice I can offer is to allow him the freedom to explore and experiment as this is the only way to discover where he actually fits. You need to be completely open and honest with each other. I know that sometimes when a CD makes a big change, like suddenly dressing full time or suddenly wearing makeup it can be difficult for the partner. Keeping communications open will make it easier for you to discuss any concerns you have.
There is a good book that may help both of you, "Living with crossdressing" I got this when I finally accepted myself as a crossdresser. It has been quite helpful. it contains a number of interviews with different couples and discusses how they integrate CDing into their relationships.
Hopefully others will offer more advice.
best regards,
D.
Ana,
I hope you find the answers you need, here. There are many girls here (including myself) who either can't have or don't feel the need for surgery, but still consider themselves trans. It's called social transitioning, and you and your bf could continue your relationship under these circumstances. I'm not qualified to discuss post-surgery options, so I will leave that to someone who can.
Bettylou
welcome to CDH, I know for me, I desire to dress more at times and less at other times. No explanation other than if I am more stressed out, dressing seems to calm me. I haev zero desire to transition. Are you sure he wants to fully transition? If so how do you feel about that?
