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Is it just me?

21 Posts
19 Users
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Posts: 177
Lady
Topic starter
(@sweetdani4luv)
Estimable Member     Sarasota, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I was out with friends recently and I met someone who was a friend of two of my companions. I was dressed conservatively in a long skirt and loose blouse. As the day progressed, this person revealed he had heard about me from our friends and was aware I was "transgendered" as he put it. At first, he seemed nice enough but the conversation quickly, and in my mind, inappropriately, became a bit too personal as he seemed focused on my "intimate" life. I made it clear he was stepping over a boundary. Immediately, nice guy left the room and creep stepped in. He propositioned me and I flatly turned him down. He got offended, suggesting all people like me were sexual deviants looking for indiscriminant sexual experiences and that I should be flattered he offered himself to be my next encounter. My bitch came out and I made sure everyone within earshot knew he was a being a rude d!$k and I left him there embarrassed.
This wasn't the first time I had an experience like this. Most men I have met (and rejected) and know about who I am have expressed similar mindsets. It seems to be common, whether in onlne chatrooms or even sometimes in public some guy just whips out his junk and suggests what he wants me to do with it. I wonder if genetic women experience this attitude as much as I have. In my male persona, I wouldn't dream of being that blunt with a woman, even a prostitute. Anyone else experience this?

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20 Replies
Posts: 3102
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

That was one encounter we all dread. At least you left him with your views etched firmly in his brain - if he had one. You were with friends and in a situation and location where this sort of thing would be least expected. It's the assumptions he made that are disturbing. How did your friends react?

It has never happened to me in that way. The only time I ever been hit on was many years ago when I joined a group of C.D. girls for a meet up at a LGBT friendly pub. The evening was fine and one of my friends said that a guy kept eyeing me up. I wasn't unnerved as I was with a group and paid no heed. I went to the ladies and on return he was sitting in a seat next to my chair. I sat down and he immediately gave me the line' Haven't I seen you before?' I said it was highly unlikely and he propostioned me,in a nice way. I politely said I was spoken for and thanked him for his attentions. He then got up and moved back to where he was. He was not offensive and, when we left, he didn't do anything else. 

Obviously, unlike your location, this was maybe a pick up bar but it was quite safe.

It is an experience that is a warning to us to  keep safe and expect the unexpected.

 

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Posts: 668
Lady
(@briellerose)
Honorable Member     Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Danielle, I think you handled things brilliantly! How ironic he accused you (us) of sexual deviancy when he was propositioning you!! Unbelievable! We're weirdos but he wants to be intimate with us?

Yes, he was a d--k and I'm so glad you loudly made that clear!

Hugs,

Brielle

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

It's this sort of s**t that makes me glad I have a feminine side and ashamed to be male.

Toxic masculinity. Uurgghh.

Connie

xxx

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Sorry this happened to you. I think some GG's experience this behavior often from creepy men whose brains are only located in their small head.

Because we're CD's many men think we're just begging for sex and they really have no clue about us at all and only see us as a kink fetish dispenser.

You handled it correctly and he was lucky you didn't slap him or throw a drink in his face or crotch. I hope your friends spoke up and supported you. If not, then you may need better friends. Maybe they knew the type of guy he was having told him about you already... idk.

Be careful and safe girls at all times aware of your surroundings. If I go in public I carry a small can of mace in my purse. I have a pistol as well.

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Posts: 39
Lady
(@msjones11)
Eminent Member     Würzburg, Bavaria, Germany
Joined: 4 years ago

I guess the more you venture out in public the more probable it is you get into such a situation, I fear many GG know better than us. Luckily I never felt that exposed, but I never go to a club alone.

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Posts: 898
Lady
(@robyn99)
Noble Member     Texas, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Sorry you had to experience that.

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Posts: 1559
Lady
(@paulaf)
Noble Member     Pampa, Tx, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

You handled that male like he needed to be.  Turn the conversation back on him and turn up the volume, and don't back down.

A real man would not have treated you that way and it just shows the lack of maturity on his part.

I wonder if he talks to his mother or sister on that level?

PaulaF

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Posts: 177
Lady
Topic starter
(@sweetdani4luv)
Estimable Member     Sarasota, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Thanks for the supportive comments.  Yes, my friends did back me on this one and a few reacted even more strongly than I did.  I don’t expect he will be invited to join this group again.  Pretty unexpected given the venue and group of pretty strong women I was with.

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Posts: 184
Lady
(@notech64)
Estimable Member     cleveland, Ohio, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

It's  amazing  that with  this  technology  we  have around  us that  there  is some people  are just  so  dumb

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

First off, good for you for not being afraid to stand up for yourself! This guy was a creep, they can hide it for a short time, but it rarely lasts long. So sorry you had to go through that. And no, it's not you!

I think too many guys get their views on us girls, and women in general, from porn. And model their own actions on it, too, along with the locker room bravado.

I would never dream of treating anyone like that!

My wife has told me stories, as well as my sisters. As a guy, I've never been treated that way, but expect it, sadly, if the time ever comes for me to step out as Dianne. There's just so many creeps out there.

One time my wife had a guy creeping on her at her office job, never enough to get HR involved, as back then it took a lot to make a complaint. But then one day he approached her in a grocery store, right in front of me, and started his nonsense. Needless to say, when I was done with him, he left her completely alone! 🙂

I don't know what the solution to the problem is, we'll never get some guys to grow up, I guess.

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Posts: 236
Lady
(@janedon)
Reputable Member     London, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago

I dunno--I guess it depends on Exactly what was said & how--Or mabe I'm too soft--But then again I'm single now (wife died a couple yrs ago) so that makes a difference - I'd be more likely to tell him (in a nice way) that a lady deserves to be wined & dined first -Pushing it ever further if I didn't care for him-- You know make it more complicated-- Wife & I were swingers for many yrs & when someone came on to her in ways she didn't like--She would discourage & complicate things in a nice way unless it was Extreme--Then she would do something like you did--But that was Rare--She always said " a Lady doesn't Freak out unless there is No other way" Freaking out is a mans way of handling things The wrong way but still a Male thing for the most part- Guys can be prone to think with their Dick & it's not got a lot of brain cells-

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Posts: 275
Significant Other
(@ajandpenny)
Reputable Member     West Lothian, East Lothian, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Well done you for calling him out like you did!  I don't really do out much and have been with hubby for 18yrs so not been out on my own for years, but I know from my daughter that there are some idiots out there that "come on" to women quite brashly - usually when they are drunk, or trying to show off in front of mates (which just makes them look even worse!).

Keep yourself safe, don't leave alone, especially if you have called someone out on their behaviour, and never let anyone put you down (male or female!)

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Posts: 27
(@wifeofchristine)
Eminent Member     Austin, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

So sorry you had to experience this.  Sadly, many GGs experience this type of abhorrent behavior regularly.  I, personally have had this happen to me at work, at a restaurant, by friends and even once a TSA agent made inappropriate comments!  You would think in this day and time we would be past that, but unfortunately, not the case.  You handled it well!

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Posts: 1194
(@qtestephy)
Noble Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Danielle I am not sure why some men feel they can act and say anything they like and get away with it. Your experience is not unique in fact it is far to common than you would think. I have been a part of the CD/TG community for most of my adult life. When I was a teen I would venture out alone but I knew I was going to meet others like us to enjoy music,dancing and fun at local gay night clubs. There were many men that where gay and only interested in other gay men. I have to admit they were always so much fun just to be around enjoying dancing and conversations about their point of view. There were also the admirers that would come in and you just knew they had only one thing in mind. Some of the girls would take advantage of their desires in exchange for money. There was also men that came just to sincerely meet some one new. There was no misunderstanding about who were were. There were some transsexuals and many CDs just out for fun for a girls night out Most men I talked with did not have a clue how to approach a woman and what to say. I found very early in life I had no interest in men so I just found it is so easy just to show no interest and if they were persist ant I would just let them know the large man at the door was a friend of mine and he is always concerned about the safety of his friends . I am not sure what the answer might be. I know for sure finding the right woman or man to share your life with is not easy. I can only tell you after 40 years of marriage to the same woman it takes a lot work . COMMUNICATION, UNDERSTANDING of each others needs and wants, AND COMPROMISE. I also might add true love for each other does help a lot. Bit off point, but so what. Luv Stephanie

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