Just came out to my wife

Hi Amber,

I can certainly emphasize with you right now, I told my wife 2 weeks ago that I was trans. She has been having a tough time overall with it, but she joined up here and another site that I'm on. She's trying to accept, but like your wife, has absolutely no desire to see me dressed. Hopefully as time goes on and they become more comfortable with things, our wives will be more accepting and open to things.

Good luck. 😀

take your time with her , be grateful that she is accepting or tolerating. go slowly. have her go to the SO site on this site

Thanks that is what I am trying to do it's just this is the first time I have been out and open and since she pays the bills I never could go buy any items without her knowing and now that I can I just really want too But I will definitely slow down

Hi Amber,

My wife and I had this conversation this fall.  She was supportive, and as soon as she said she wasn't leaving me, I pushed really hard and bought a bunch of stuff and pushed her to see me dressed. This was a bad idea. It was too much too soon. Over the past few months, we've talked about it alot which has really helped, and now she's totally ok with everything. I try not to spend too much money, and the more freedom I have, the less I need to spend and can "pass" up deals and sales because I know the clothes won't look good on me anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is, keep the dialog open with your wife, and while you'll want to push, tell her why. You want to get to that point of freedom where you know you can fully express yourself and she still loves you. Make that known. If she knows why you're pushing so hard, she may tolerate it more, and you may be able to push less hard. Again, keep communicating and try to think about it from her perspective. It's not an easy thing that you've done by telling her and I applaud you!

In the same boat,

Eva C.

Thanks you for the advice it's great will definitely do that hope it will help I think it will its been going a little better we kind of can talk about Amber now so that's a start

be patient

i was so happy when my wife said she was ok with my dressing (after much discussion of course)

but after i started thinking about it I backed off a little because i womdered what was it really doing to her

I am shortly approaching the first anniversary of disclosing to my wife. It was one of the scariest things that I have done during my marriage.  Keeping it secret from my wife was one of the most stressful times of my marriage. My wfe was aware of the stress and was near forcing it out of me. She thought the stress was financially rooted.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a wife who has been supportive and understanding. However, the past year has not been smooth sailing. We have had are disagreements, but overall, we are better off than we were prior. Being patient and cognizant of my wife's feelings was paramount to our success.

Mac

Well my wife and I went to the mall yesterday and she thought it would be a good idea to get me foundation and went and bought it for me as well as a new pair of pantyhose she didn't want people to stare at me so I guess things are going pretty well I can talk about Amber with her some too I just am avoiding asking for more things for a while after I got my hose foundation and when we got home in the mail my crossdressing kit from glamour boutique was in the mail. I got breast forms a gaff dress and pocket bra. i have yet to put on anything in front of her but hopefully soon I can at least show her what I got

Hi Amber,

Like the other girls my advice is to take it slow. You know all your life Amber is part of you, yet your wife has learned about this only a couple of days ago.

I told my wife early January and I am fortunate her love for me is strong, yet she did not want to know anything about my feminine side. Only this week she has started to ask some questions about my feelings and me trying to find a balance.

Your wife seems very understanding and supportive. Give her some time to get to know Amber.

Hugs, Liv

Thanks Liv I appreciate it I am pretty lucky she loves me and I understanding she i opening up more with it so that's good

My crossdressing started in earnest when I was forced into retirement and was left alone while my wife continued working . Since I was home I could order my own clothes, etc. Christmas was fun, dress for her and one for me... My lady came home early and I was caught in the perverbial "deer caught in the headlights" .. Discussion after discussion followed. And this happened prior to my friends here at CDH. Our love prevailed ... And eventually one day we went shopping together for panties, stockings, and cami's for me...and we did have a manicure together.. My lady prefers that I dress when the opportunity presents itself...she makes outings with her friends she may or may not know that it gives me en femme time. This seems to be working for our relationship.... My enfemme time , however, has been limited since my wife's mom passed away and she is having difficulty with her passing.. We did have a nice vacation which helped her sorrow
Long story short: tell your SO, it is very important...if she accepts go slow but keep communicating... Thank you all for letting me share my experience... You are all good friends
Leonara

Thanks for the good advice

Since November, I have been in full CD mode at nearly every opportunity.  I have three kids  in high school still and my wife works long hours in the winter months.  So at night with locked door I have taken advantage of this time to try out my growing wardrobe.  Only the past two months have I dared photograph myself.

I know it won't be too long before I slip up and need to share with my wife what the hell I am doing.  I've accidentally left out used makeup cleansing cloths in the shower.  I gave her my iPad to look up something on Amazon and in the basket was a petticoat.  She joked about me getting one and then moved on.

The only other person that "knows" is an older sister who found an outfit on my bed when I was around 14.  I am going to talk to her this weekend because I can't hide much longer.

Wish me luck!

Hannah Jeanne

Best of luck, Hannah!