Meeting your spouse (enfemme) the first time

Hi Gen,

My wife was very much the same when she first learn about my crossdressing, she asked the usual questions but after that she doesn't want to talk or know more about it. It took months before she spoke to me about it again, I think she needed time to process the difficult concept of fluid gender identity. It seems they can tolerate see us as "man in a dress'" but not their husband turning into  a woman which is understandable. May be over time they could accept that we can be both a husband and girl friend?

Rachel

The first time my wife saw me enfemme (at least partially) was I was 27 years old.  At the time we had only been married about 10 months. A few months earlier, my wife had discovered my only article of female clothing, a bra, that I had hidden among the male clothing in one of my drawers. Not surprisingly she reacted badly to the discovery, including tears, anger and all the normal questions. In the intervening months, she said little about the bra, but at least she did not make me throw it out.

On this particular evening, we were watching television and cuddling together on the couch. She was caressing my chest and playing with my nipples, something she knew I loved. I made the comment that if she kept doing that I was going to want to wear my bra. To my amazement she said go ahead.

I went back to our bedroom and put on my bra, filled out the cups with some of her panties, and replaced my shirt. When I returned to the living room I was both terrified and excited, but mostly embarrassed. She quickly eased my fears and we began cuddling and caressing again. After a few minutes she took me to the bedroom where we completely undressed, except for my bra, and made love.

We have now been married 35+ years and since then she had seen me countless times in bras and other items of lingerie. Still, that first time remains my fondest memory ever of crossdressing.

She said I looked like Anjelica Huston, I think she partly meant it in jest and partially as an expression of disapproval.

I was sooooo flattered.

Anjelica was a hottie.

Araminta.

For me it’s the pink elephant in the room. Came clean my s.o. a couple years ago and had the typical talk. She has asked me about it vaguely later on but never expressed the interest in seeing me. I don’t know if I’d  be comfortable getting dressed for her in person but I’d be willing to show her a picture if she was curious. Recently she found some hairs around the house from my wig and I confessed they were mine. Gotta say I find it odd she doesn’t want to see me. If she was up to something that most think is taboo I would be curious. Maybe she just doesn’t want the visual to change her opinion of me. I’ve been tempted to send her a text with a picture just to get the monkey off my back. But don’t want to overstep my bounds because she has been understanding(never asked me to stop) She is the love of my life and I don’t want to jeopardize what we have together. Kind of a weird spot for me but patience is a virtue.

Hi MelanieElizabeth,

Thanks for sharing. I feel very much the same, part of me as Rachel wants to meet my wife so we could be friends, but I am also nervous about showing her my odd and vulnerable side and definitely don’t want to harm our relationship in anyway.  I agree that it’s important to be patience and let my wife move forward at a pace she is comfortable.

Rachel M

I totally remember the day my wife met Wendy.  I can only describe the feeling as estatic, happy, relieved yet at the same time awkward and nerve wracking.

When I came out to my wife, she asked me a whole pile of questions about my CDing, then nearing the end of our conversation, she said "go get changed so I can see what you look like".

I was shocked, inside I was elated but nervous as this will be the first time my wife will see Wendy.  So I went downstairs to where I stashed Wendy's clothes, got change - black pencil skirt, white long sleeve blouse, black blazer, black tights, cheap costume wig, black bra, black cami, and a black shaper (yeah I have a thing about matching colours).

At that time, I didn't have much makeup, maybe a lipstick but I never put that on when I showcased Wendy.  After getting dressed, I called her downstairs, I could hear her walk from the living room making her way downstairs.  I was nervous, as this will be the first time she will see Wendy.

She sees me, and says "you look like an airline stewardess".  That was pretty much all she said.  She went back upstairs, I got changed, and we continued watching TV.  I can't remember what happened after but years after that, I can now fully transform into Wendy with her support.

Hi Gen,

Thank you for sharing. It must be wonderful to be able to spend gf time with your wife.  For me, it’s the little steps that she takes towards greater acceptance gives hope that one day I can be her friend like you and your wife.

Rachel M

Hi Wendy,

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.  Your first Wendy meeting with your wife couldn’t have been easier for you.  It was nice that your wife took an interest in seeing you as Wendy, I totally understand that it must have been nerve wracking.   If I was in that situation I would be nervous to try figuring out how to present myself the first time…from “man in a dress, full transformation or something in between.  I think you made a good choice.  Glad things work out so well for you and happy to read that you can be with wife fully transformed into Wendy.  I have some ways to get there.

Rachel M

Hi Araminta,

It's nice to received acceptance, even if it's just a small step.

Rachel M

Hi Katherine,

Thank you for sharing. You are so fortunate, your wife not only fully accepts you, she also has an amazing relationship with Katherine as well. Good for you!

Rachel M

Hi Gen,

Almost a year ago, my wife learn about my CDing.

Rachel M

Now that's a wonderful story. I think I'll cry too...Genevieve, do you have the tissues?

Bridgette

Hi great story. I was never sure how to tell my wife. She came home from work early and saw crossed dressed. She was shocked so I explained and then showed an article on the web. She has seen me a few more times when coming home early. But will not discuss it.

All things are possible, Rachel. When I told my wife about my need to Dress, she disapproved, but would tolerate anything except seeing me in a dress (skirts OK). Now, when she sees me in a dress, it's just a comment on the style, color or general appearance. She first saw Bettylou following my first makeover at Ulta, and the first words out of her mouth were "You look like a f*g!" She was looking at her husband in a wig, makeup and women's clothes, and wouldn't even consider going out with me. Fast-forward 18 months later: We go out often, for events, meals and sometimes shopping. I've had complements on my appearance and wardrobe, as well as suggestions. Bettylou is accepted as a girlfriend, and we are closer than we have been since early in our marriage. And I'm a happy girl.

Hugs,
Bettylou