Meeting your spouse (enfemme) the first time

Hi Bettylou,

You are a very lucky girl, your relationship with your wife is everything I dream of.  Thank you for sharing your lovely story, it certainly gives me hope that maybe through baby steps my wife will come to accept Rachel in time.  For now, I count myself lucky to have her acceptance of who I am. I look forward to the day I can step out into the world with my wife for the first time not just as her husband but as girl friends.

Hugs,

Rachel

Though I couldn't be more sympathetic, I can't offer a personal experience. If any of you followed the advice in one post to refer the spouse to sources of information on gender fluidity, here is a movie suggestion: the biopic comedy "Ed Wood," with Johnny Depp as the crossdressing movie director. When he nervously comes out to his girlfriend, she is calm and only wants to know if he still loves women. When he says yes, that's all she needs to know. The movie is a lot of fun in itself, with Bill Murray and Martin Landau.

My wife was gone working and came home early. I was in the yard and like a coward ran behind the second garage. I guess she did see me and began walking my way. I thought It's now or never and stepped out. She was surprised. But having found some of my items in the past and seeing me she was also relieved. She thought there was possibly a different woman in my life. She knows better than that but couldn't figure where the false nails or earrings she found came from. I stayed dressed the rest of the day.  I started to try to explain and she stopped me and said that it was just a part of who I was and she loved me. We now dress together and go out shopping and  for drinks food ..... together. We critique each other and she says I am her best girlfriend and her best man. Writing this I realize it sounds   almost to perfect of a story. I am a very very lucky girl

e

My wife met patty a couple of weeks after we met. I had my own place and been dressing a few years. I often used to go out en femme and androgynous (half boy, half girl). When I met my wife, I was in androgynous mode, in pantyhose, short shorts and short heel wedges. She liked my look.

A couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. I was happy to see her. When she came in though she noticed women's clothes lying about. She was not pleased. She was going to leave. I figured since she already knew I wore some so called girl's clothes, I should just tell her the clothes were mine and I often wore them for fun, to go out in and to parties.

She seemed suspicious and asked me to show her. I went in the bedroom and chose one of my favorite and sexiest outfits. I did makeup and everything. When I went walking out, she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She was also amazed at how I looked nothing like my male self.

She thought it would be fun to go out as girlfriends. Our first outing as girlfriends was a shopping trip to the mall. Very scary at first, but very exciting once the fear subsided. We both bought a lot of clothes. Then of course we had to wear them and go out. At first I would ask her if I should go out as Patty or my male self. She told me to dress however I wanted. I began to dress more and more femme. After a while I stopped asking and was Patty most of the time. We seemed to have more fun, and rarely missed an opportunity to shop for and buy more clothes.

So we were not just boyfriend/girlfriend but girlfriends as well.

Hi Rachel The very first time that my wife met Stephanie was when she asked me to get dressed up for her. She was genuinely interested in  how I looked.  She gave me a few compliments and asked where did I get my sense of style. I really did not fully understand the question She answered for me and said it it must be from all the traveling you do. I realize now most of my clothes at the time were business attire. black skirts with matching blazers, silk blouses, scarves, etc. She was amazed i knew how tie my scarves. I loved scarves. They added so much color to a simple outfit. Please do not get me wrong. This moment  took place a month after she found several bags of my clothes in the trunk of my car and she took the time to digest everything I told her . I give her so much credit for taking the time to understand. She went to a library, bought books, called a long time gay friend, talked with her sister, she really did want to understand. A huge thing for her was she was not losing her husband. The man she married had to perform in every way that is expected from the bedroom to yard work and everything in between. When she felt comfortable that nothing was going to change in our relationship. then she wanted to help me look good when i went out to the private club for CDs and transsexuals i belonged to at the time. She even took the time to visit club on SO nights. She had a great time. There were times I even got a little jealous that other CDs were spending so much time with her. She thought it was. kinda cute and funny.She is a very special lady that is for sure. Thank you for the memories and the reminder i married a wonderful open minded woman that understands true love.

Luv Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,

That’s a beautiful story, thank you for sharing.  I remember someone here posted a very interesting topic about how we would react if things were reversed, if we found out that our wives are a crossdresser.  It really made me think if I could be supportive and accepting because I realized that if I am not a crossdresser myself my perception of it would be what the media and society’s portrayal of what a crossdresser is, neither accurate or in a positive way.  To be accepting and supportive, it takes someone very special to be objective, able to look inwards as well as seeing beyond society’s maligned perception of who we are. You are very fortunate to have an amazingly open minded and supportive wife…hang on to her for dear life.

Rachel M

Patty thats awesome she was all good about it.  My wife is very supportive and understanding but will only go out with me if we are out of town.  When I wear woman’s jeans and tops (in guy mode) he normally won’t go out with me dressed that way but doesn’t have any problem with me going out like that. Thanks hun!

Ashley❤️

Hi Patty,

Very interesting story, thanks for sharing.  I believe you have met your soul mate!

Rachel M

Hi Michelle,

I couldn’t help but laugh after reading your story, I imagined myself hiding behind that second garbage bin in a dress and high-heels with my wife coming towards me and possibly neighbours watching, I would have very likely soiled myself.  I am glad to read that you not only able to kept your composure but also explained yourself adequately.  I am so happy for you that it worked out so well.  Thanks for sharing.

Rachel M

Thanks Melissa, I will look this movie up.

Rachel M

YEP. I'm a lucky girl. I took the afternoon off. Guess what i'm doing? She will be home in a hour and I will be waiting.

1. I live in the country Rachel. It would really get her suspicious if a strange woman was running thru the field away from her.

Looking back, it was good we addressed that in the beginning of our relationship. Patty wasn't a relation ender, but a relationship enhancer. We were girlfriends also and went out as girlfriends.

My wife is so used to me being Patty, that unless I wear something super sexy, she doesn't even seem to react. There's times I'll be dressed and go out where she will just act like it's a normal thing. if I have to drop her off or pick her up somewhere, I often do it as Patty. To her Patty is just a different outfit I wear thee days.

But it's funny. If I maybe pick her up somewhere and I'm not Patty, she will remark, " I thought you might send Patty". We don't do as much as when we were young and first met, but we still have fun with it.

Michelle,

I envy you. I live in the city, no chance of leaving the house unnoticed by neighbours,  Many times I wished I lived in the country where Rachel can stroll in the fields not worry about seen by anyone.

Rachel M