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My wife says she feels awkward when I dress around her, but her body language does not match her words.
For the last 8 years or so our relationship has gradually become more distant. We still love each other, but we have drifted apart physically. About a year ago, as I came to the conclusion that crossdressing was a real part of who I am I realized that I needed to open up to my wife about this part of me. This weight on my mind effected my mood and started driving us further apart.
Last summer I had the talk the details of which are in another post. Since then I have been steadily and carefully increasing my dressing at home. My wife is supportive, but does find it awkward seeing me dressed.
I have noticed something interesting. When I am in drab we remain distant, she rarely initiates any contact. When I am enfemme she hugs me and will occasionally pat my behind or rub my back while I am working in the kitchen. Of course I don't mind the attention!
I discussed this with a CDH friend and she feels that my wife sees my as vulnerable when enfemme and is responding to that. I wonder if I am just a nicer person when I am able to be me and she is responding to that.
My wife is a very instinctual person, she acts on her instinct and may not even be conscious of her changes in behavior. I'd like to discuss it with her, but I fear that if I make her conscious of it she'll stop.
I guess I'll just continue as I have been and enjoy little surprises it brings.
D.
I think the dynamics of that situation is way above my pay-grade!
I am sorry to hear that you and your wife are becoming distant.
I was in a similar marital situation and we "grew apart' but still love each other.
Dressing was not a direct cause of our problems, but I'm sure deep down, it didn't help at all either.
We basically has a DA-DT situation.
But, given you are still married, and she is supportive, I'd say you just can never go wrong with bringing home flowers or candy as a surprise and for no particular reason.
All the best to you!
Hi Delora im kindof in same boat as you . My wife swears im a much better and careing person when im dressed as Stephanie . We get together more and play little fun girly things , She even helps with hair makeup some suggestions on outfits . Don't get me wrong not all the time just occasionally then its back to old hubby and I know its me some of the time I get depressed when Stephanie cant come over and like on a period my mood swings and im not fun to be around . Things are getting better she is at more peace with her girlfriend if she does her fair share of the chores around the house . But the deal is that Stephanie has to do them and sometime dressed as the maid just a win win situation . Hope things get better for both of you .
Stephanie
Hi DeLora,
I read with great interest about your confusion concerning your wife’s actions. I am one lucky gurl that has a VERY accepting spouse. Since Stephanie came to be, I have found that it is better to just accept my wife’s favorable actions rather than make a big deal of it. Keep in mind that she is struggling with her own insecurities and emotions. You might become the girlfriend that she would like to have. She might just have deeply hidden feelings about her own sexuality that she would never admit. Maybe when she pats your butt you could acknowledge it with your best little girly wiggle and giggle. Remember to keep it fun and flirty. Make sure she knows that she is THE FEMALE in the relationship and that will never change. Any concession she may make concerning DeLora let her know how much it means to you and that you love her more for it. Best wishes...Stephanie
I think dressing can change a relationship. Probaly more often then not for the worse. I don't think that's always the case though.
I had been dressing often for a couple f years when I met my wife. A couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. I was happy to see her. When I let her in she noticed women's clothes lying about. She was not happy and was leaving. She thought I lived with a woman. I tole her I didn't. the clothes were mine. I liked to wear them and go out to parties at college. I know it's a silly hobby but it's fun. She asked me to show her.
I went in the bedroom and put on one of my favorite and sexiest outfits. I got all made up and stepped out th show her. She was shocked. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She also found it hard to believe that girl she was seeing was me. She was intrigued. Her and Patty became good friends and did girlfriend things together. I was her boyfriend and girlfriend.
I've met other CD's, where their coming out did not go well. It changed or ended many relationships. In a few though it did open up some new things to explore and have fun with. It all depends on the people, their open mindedness and may other factors.
