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Hello everybody, I'm Brooke, and this is my first post. I'm so glad I found this site, it's important to have support. Which is why I need advice.
I'm 29 and have been dressing in private now for a number of years, but 4 years ago I married my love. I'm starting to dress more and want to introduce Brooke to the public, but my wife says the thought of me in a dress is disturbing and I need to quit. But I know I have tried before but always come back to it. Brooke really wants to see the world but I love my wife and would hate hurting her.
I have looked through the other posts and have decided I want to know, if you mature ladies could turn back the clock, what would you do?
This is a tough thing, not knowing you or your wife, I'm going to keep this kind of generic.
First, understand you have the right to be true to yourself, and issues of identity aren't easily put aside.
Second, your wife has the right to be attracted or disturbed by whatever she's wired to be attracted or disturbed by.
So something has to give here. The only way to reach the best result available (whatever that may be) is honest communication.
The sad reality is that the whole real you may be beyond her ability to accept, which will lead to hard decisions. But you may in fact find a happy middle ground.
The only way to know is by taking the risk and talking about it.
I have tried to talk to her before. Long story short she gave me the option to either lose my femme side or lose her.
So for those of you who have put aside your inner femme beauty, was it worth suppressing that part of you for the one you love?
I certainly tend to agree with Bree, finding middle ground would be ideal. I know from personal experience, that I've quit, and sworn to never dress again. But Rochelle keeps coming back, she is part of me. I truly wish you all the best. The only other thing I might suggest, is speaking to a counselor.
I have to echo what Bree said for the most part. Without talking and working through it the divide will only get bigger. I know for me I could never just put this part of me aside forever. Not that I could put it aside and be miserable, but that I just could not do it. It is who I am. If you feel the same way then you have to have some long difficult discussions. Maybe seeing a counselor together would help her find a place where she can accept you for who you are and you can set boundaries you both can live with. Good luck Brooke, I wish you the best.
