Please advise

Hi Jamie!
First, be very grateful that she is as accepting as she is, because that in itself is awesome. While I am blessed with my accepting wife, many in the CD world, especially older CDs would fall down on their knees to have what you have right now. So be very grateful for her acceptance.
That said, respect her feelings, as this is all new for her, and probably scary as well. Although I haven’t truly explored CDH, I believe there is much material and help available for HER here. I shared a beautiful book with my wife called My Husband Betty by Helen Boyle. We read it together and talked about it. There are many other fine resources for SOs to help them both understand and accept our CD. I believe your path should be to slowly explain to her that this is a true and authentic part of you, of course if it really is.
Anyway, love her and do nothing to lose her trust. Once lost in a relationship trust is the most difficult thing to restore, if it ever can be.
So I wish you all the best!
Hugs,
Jules
🥰🌈👩

Hi Jamie, the conversation can be hard sometimes, but it is oh so necessary.  Especially as your dressing and the urges evolve and change. Do try to keep her up to speed on how you’re feeling.

Something that has worked for me is adopting more androgynous looking clothes for everyday. It’s very satisfying to wear leggings or skinny jeans and a less than masculine looking shirt or blouse.  Remember, bio-women usually don’t dress as if they’re going clubbing everyday. They dress for comfort like anyone would. And the stuff made for women’s everyday wear is much more wonderful than anything for men. That’s kind of the sweet spot that works for me. It feels more natural and in balance.

Now of course, Clara in all her glory comes to visit once in a while and my spouse is fine with that. I like to think it’s first of all because of the openness and communication, and second because me wearing “ladies clothes” has become normalized. I think my wife actually likes Clara.

It takes time, love and trust though. All good relationships do.

Best to you,

Clara

Jaime I wish I could give you some solid advise but I can't. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my wife again about my cross dressing. Just know all of us here at CDH are here for you anytime you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on.

Hugs, Liara

Thank you Clara,  for such a great advice. I will try to talk with my wife and tell her how I am feeling.  I dont want to push her.  She has given me space and i am greatful for that. It would have been really difficult if I could not dress at all.

I am really happy for you to have such an amazing wife.

Hugs,

Jaime

Hi Jules,

Thank you for your advice.  I will see if I can get that book and read it first and then will give it to my wife.

Yes I am really greatful that she lets me to dress. I will always respect her feelings. Will remember your advice.

Hugs,

Jaime

You are welcome, Jamie!

Just be advised that I believe her husband eventually transitioned to a woman.

There is an old CD joke: “What’s the difference between a CD and a trans women? About three years.”

Now I certainly do not believe that, but many do, possibly your wife. That. An be her deep fear.

Hugs,

Jules

❤️🌈👩

Jaime, I totally agree with Jules, trust and time are of the essence. My SO is now accepting of my dressing, see my profile for the full story and for that I am blessed.  The one thing I have noticed as time goes on and you respect their limits, the limits seem to soften. Give your SO time to process, ask her where and when it would be acceptable to dress. It’s a conversation but the one conclusion I have come to, it is time, respect and do not force the conversation. The conversation will happen until then enjoy. I hope my incoherent ramblings make sense, as only recently has my wife come to accept Katie.

Katie 💋

Speaking as someone whose SO is very anti, I can't give you any advice beyond not risking what you already have. I live in hope that my situation will one day improve, so all I can say is to take it slow and steady. Sorry.

Have fun

Connie

xxx

My only advice, is to be honest with your SO, have the conversation and tell her how you feel. Then, LISTEN, to what she says, and give her time. Explain that you will respect her wishes, but this is how you feel, and ask for her acceptance, but follow her guidelines.
Hugs, Regi👸💖

Jaime,

Sound like we are in the near same type of position with our wife.  She knows and 2 years ago when i started to get more active. With some engorgement from her. I to have my own closet that I have filled up to the point I had to remove some to make room.

Lately she has been more focused with her job, and adult children, and video games. (Pokémon)

So I will do or say little things to try to get her involved again. Such as after laundry, I asked her if she gets confused of separating for hers, mine, hers 🙂  I also asked her if she had one my jeans. ( She did and giggled). Lately I have order a few things on line, and will occasionally show her the picture. (cute Halloween Dress I hope to get in tomorrow night.)  So mostly I am trying to tell you my approach has been keep it lite, honest, opened, and always trying to make her smile, but I do not push hard. I do my thing, and she dose her thing.

xxx's & ooo's

Tina

Hi Connie,

Hope that your SO slowly changes and supports you.  Good luck.

Hugs,

Jaime

Thank you Katie,  will try to proceed slowly.  Its great that your SO is supportive.

Thank you Tina, good ideas.  Will slowly try them and see.

Hugs,

Jaime

Oh I do hope so.

Thanks

Connie

xxx