Sexually frustrated

Stephanie

My personal opinion...

First is have you both looked at or discussed some counseling? I would strongly urge it.  If for anything to understand why you lost it, and to understand him. Second, the 2 of you should have some serious discussion and talk about it before you do anything "outside" of the marriage.

Not knocking how you feel, but some counseling and discussion before you take any action.  He...might...be OK with it or he might not.   You may be better off down the road discussing mutual moving on if you cant shake or change your lack of attraction.  You dont want to hold each other "hostage" in a relationship that isn't a 100%

Robyn

sex is just a physical thing. maybe you can explore sex with someone else. but then you would have to let him do the same. if you really love each other than this could work, but there is a chance he or you could fall in love with someone else. it works for some people. like the guy who cant get it hard anymore. he wants his wife to have the love making that he cant do anymore but she really needs. so he lets her have a substitute batter.

No.

No, no, no.  I am just not wired - nor would I want - to be able to receive love from one person and sex from another in a relationship, and wouldn't be able to live with it from my SO.  That's not even getting into the wedding vows and committment to each other.  Myself, I can see it leading only to further unhappiness.

This is just me, of course.🙂

Stevie

absolutely.  humans aren't wired for monogamy to begin with.  throw in a dash of sexual frustration, lack of attraction and you have a recipe for unhappiness.  non-monogamy is hands down a better approach.   good luck!

I agree with the no's. I take my marriage vows extremely serious, and fidelity is one of the most important. with communication, there are ways through pretty much everything, and thats over 40 yrs exp, with one woman.
please, see a counselor, and talk to each other, dont just give up.
My opinion only, and no offence meant to anyone
Hugs, Regine

Well I'm just going to go ahead and throw my 2 cents worth in here because I was asked for it.

Cheating is never acceptable. If you're in a relationship of any sort, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged, married etc., you just don't cheat on people. It makes people feel terrible not to mention all the other problems associated with it. If you are entertaining the idea of having intimate relations with someone other than your SO then leave them. Cheating is a deal breaker for me.

I spent many years trying to talk to men who cheat on their partners and I never got anywhere with them. I talked to their women also about how it was unacceptable behavior. I guess I'm old fashioned so to say but I wasn't raised that way and I do not agree with cheating. Never have , never will. If you are in any sort of committed relationship with another human it's just that. A committed relationship. Most people don't like it when it happens to them so don't look for what you can get at home elsewhere. The men i used to try to sway their mind on cheating hated to be cheated on. They could cheat but if their girlfriend did it there was hell to pay. I never really understood it and still don't.

I have never cheated on a girlfriend. I have never been married but I have dated a lot. I have never cheated on any girlfriend. I'm as true as the day is long. Have I been cheated on? Yep sure have and it sucks! I dumped her about 2 minutes after I found out.

At the end of the day it is your decision and you have to do what you think is right for you. I don't agree with cheating. Some people don't care one way or the other. Some are all for finding what you need from sources outside the relationship which I strongly disagree with but once again that's just me and I'm not in your relationship.

I'm sorry this may be a little overbearing but this is a subject that I feel very strongly about. Cheating is extremely hurtful to all parties involved.

Hi  Stephanie,

I firmly believe what you are asking is a contradiction in terms;  having relations outside of the marriage is inherently self-destructive, and instead signals that it's finished.  A marriage CAN exist without intimacy, but I wouldn't suggest you try.  Instead, please search out counseling, and if you can't embrace your husband's cross-dressing, perhaps you can find a way to tolerate it, as have so many wives.  And I wish you success.

Bettylou

Hi Stephanie , it's your relationship so you both work out &  agree on the arrangements that work for the BOTH of you . Neither should be forced to agree , honest discussion may bring about some middle ground for you both 💐💐

Wait a minute. Stephanie said that her SO is finding sexual satisfaction outside of their relationship. That does not necessarily mean that he is seeing other people. It could mean is into self pleasure. I know because my wife does not want anything to do with a man wearing feminine clothing and I have the habit pretty bad. At least Stephanie and her So are still having sex a couple times a week.  Be glad for that and find common ground.  If you can make it work well thats way better than divorce.
Edmund Dauntes.

Stephanie;

I'm answering this as the question was posed and really want to make it clear that this is how I feel for me/us.  I am the CD husband and the feelings you have described have been voiced here in a similar way (without the question).

I'm afraid that I'm still old school about your question.    I love my wife as much now as the day we married, and find her incredibly attractive.  I'd be heart-broken if she suggested that finding satisfaction with someone else was the way for her, and a solution to our relationship.  I have, and would never do that to her and can't imagine her suggesting it.

Having said that, I do not know if our relationship would survive this revelation or not, but it would hurt immensely.

Every relationship is unique and I have known people who would jump at your suggestion... I'm just not one of that number, but you and he need to find something that works for you.

-Molly (feeling that I should be signing as my male name)

Me personaly, I wouldnt want my wife to find pleasure with some one else. Im a cd, it took me a while to understand that I didnt become more feminine, I just have a feminine side and masculine side. It took my wife awhile to be comfortable with my feminine side, and we are both still learning after 7 years but things can get better if you both want to work on things. Being truthful with each other is a huge part of how me and my wife make things work. But ever relationship is different, I hope this helps. Wish you two all the best.

Yes, I would be ok with it with the idea I care and have only best wishes toward her. Some marriages take sex off the table all together for various reasons. I do not want anyone feeling uncomfortable nor sexually frustrated. It is not cheating if it is consensual.  However, some birds mate for life and that is it. It really depends on you two.

Hi Stephanie,

My reply is a tad bit unusual, but here it goes.  I feel that everyone can enjoy sex in ways that they once couldn't possibly imagine.  An open mind and exposure to different options can be quite liberating.  Have a glass of wine or three and look at shemale sex with a girl porn.  What might shock you at first can become quite exciting.  You would still be having sex with a penis and the stimulation is the same.  I once thought of myself as heterosexual but have evolved over the years and you might also, and it could save your marriage.  Oral sex is exactly the same, a mouth is a mouth.  I honestly feel that everyone who is open minded who exposes themselves to other sexual options will evolve and have more fun, more sex, and more enjoyment.   Role playing, anal options, toys, all keep sex more alive and interesting.  There are some who only enjoy the missionary position with the lights off.  To each his own, just sayin.

Stephanie,

In my experience, sex outside a relationship means a relationship is over.

-Caroline